Are We Really True Friends?

[FarmGirl13]

i have this friend. her name is Cassie and she and me are really good friends. or so i think...

well, first thing is first, we have been friends snice the third grade and since then she has been really, really mean to me. she kicks me, slaps me and punches me for know reason and it really hurts. whenever i tell her to stop or hit her back, she gets all mad. then she will ignore me for a day.
thats not all. she cheats of my tests and copies all my school work. whenever i cover my paper, she gets mad. after a day or two, she'll get over it.
i'm not the only one Cassie loves to hurt. my other friends, Kelly, Stacey and Grace also get hurt by her. she just loves to hurt people for fun :(
Cassie loves to make fun of me too! and it really hurts me inside. whenever i ask her to stop she just says 'NO!!'

ok, you mite be thinkin: why do i just stop being friend with her. well... if i do that then i won't be able to be friends with Kelly, Stacey and Grace. that's how it works with her. if your not her friend, then u can't talk to her friends....
i have been told friends don't care how you look or what u wear, but Cassie does. she stopped being friends with a girl named Hannah cause she thought she was too ugly to be hung out with! i told Cassie that wasn't rite, so i went to talk to Hannah, but Cassie told me not to.
Cassie has cuaght me talking to Hannah and she ignored me for a week. i couldn't talk to Stacey, Grace and Kelly at all cuz Cassie was mad at me.
Cassie does plan days to ignore me! once i looked through her calender once when i sleeped over her house. every single Thursday and Monday had ritten on it 'ignore that ugly April' i got so mad i left her house!

Any help would be much helpfull! i really, really need help with my friendship

[Whisk_Luva]

Well hitting her back wont do any good. Have you tried talking to your teachers? Is home life tough for her? Are her parents still together? You need to dig deeper and find out the reason. Teachers could probs do this better as she cannot hit the teachers. Do you have a school counserlor? Maybe thats the best thing for her... to talk out the reason why she does it?

Hope this helps,

Ellie

[Karen]

She needs counseling. That's all there is to it. And if the other girls are not mature enough to be your freinds even if you don't like her, it is time to find new friends.

[Daisy and Delilah]

The title of your thread is, "Are We Really True Friends?" If she's treating you like you describe, she has a problem. It is never right to abuse someone like she's doing to you. No true friend would ever act like this.

She hits you, slaps you, makes fun of you, kicks you, and cheats off your school work. You need to get away from her. All the friendships in the world are not worth enduring this torture. Most importantly, you need to report her to school authorities. This behavior is inexcusable. If you continue to allow yourself to be treated this way, eventually, others will pick up on it and start treating you the same way.

Right now, you need to stop hitting her back also. That's only bringing you to her level. Find some friends that treat you like a friend should treat you. Good luck. :(

[DrKym]

Did this friend move from Ireland with you? I suggest you learn now, while you are young, that no one can control your life or your friends unless you allow it.
If you want to talk to the other girls then do so, if they don't because of this girl, then I suggest you find friends with a higher level of maturity. Thinking so low of yourself to allow this person to cheat from you and then still tolerating her abuse tells me that you could use some counseling for your own self esteem.

[Argranade]

I would dump those people, there acting lame.

It's better to have one friend than none .. in this case it would be better to have none.

I don't have any best friends, I just hang with people when I want to have fun ... that's why I hate with best friends .. there's fights, jelousy ect ... and it's just not worth it too deal with it, you can get depressed.

[Taz_Zoee]

Wow, I didn't realize things still worked that way. That's exactly how it was when I was your age. There was a "leader" and every one in the group liked who they liked and did what they wanted to do. I remember it being very stressful at times. I went to a very small school, so my options were limited as to who I "hung out" with. Having been through that situation, I can now say, as an adult, I wouldn't be friends with her AT ALL. But then there's the issue of all the other girls following her and being mean to you too.
I don't know if you'd be able to do this, but try it. If she says she's not going to be your friend anymore just tell her it makes you sad she chooses to do that. But don't let her know it's bothering you. Like you said before, she'll get over it in a couple of days. And if she doesn't....then I think it's time to find a new set of friends. I know that's easier said than done. Like I said, I've been in your shoes before. I'm sorry you are going through this. Good luck!

[crow_noir]

I say stop letting yourself be used by her.

When i was young i was in the same situation. This one girl was just about the only one that would let me hang out with her. She was nice to me... but only some of the time. The rest of the time she was really bossy and would say mean things to me.

I look back on it and realize i would have been much better off being alone. I stayed her friend for many years and have many emotional scars from it. Even some physical issues.

If you can work up the courage to tell her to bug off talk to your other three friends and see if they don't want to be her friend any more either. Maybe they are suffering the same way you are. She can't make the four of you stop being friends.

G'luck. Remember to respect your self enough to be loved. Friends should truly care about how you feel, not about how powerful they can be over you.


i have this friend. her name is Cassie and she and me are really good friends. or so i think...

well, first thing is first, we have been friends snice the third grade and since then she has been really, really mean to me. she kicks me, slaps me and punches me for know reason and it really hurts. whenever i tell her to stop or hit her back, she gets all mad. then she will ignore me for a day.
thats not all. she cheats of my tests and copies all my school work. whenever i cover my paper, she gets mad. after a day or two, she'll get over it.
i'm not the only one Cassie loves to hurt. my other friends, Kelly, Stacey and Grace also get hurt by her. she just loves to hurt people for fun :(
Cassie loves to make fun of me too! and it really hurts me inside. whenever i ask her to stop she just says 'NO!!'

ok, you mite be thinkin: why do i just stop being friend with her. well... if i do that then i won't be able to be friends with Kelly, Stacey and Grace. that's how it works with her. if your not her friend, then u can't talk to her friends....
i have been told friends don't care how you look or what u wear, but Cassie does. she stopped being friends with a girl named Hannah cause she thought she was too ugly to be hung out with! i told Cassie that wasn't rite, so i went to talk to Hannah, but Cassie told me not to.
Cassie has cuaght me talking to Hannah and she ignored me for a week. i couldn't talk to Stacey, Grace and Kelly at all cuz Cassie was mad at me.
Cassie does plan days to ignore me! once i looked through her calender once when i sleeped over her house. every single Thursday and Monday had ritten on it 'ignore that ugly April' i got so mad i left her house!

Any help would be much helpfull! i really, really need help with my friendship

[Pawsitive Thinking]

She sounds like the sort of friend you could well do without and the other 3 don't sound much better.

Move on and find a whole new set of friends - you deserve better

[Laura's Babies]

That is what is called a "toxic" friend. If she treats her friends like that, how does she treat her enimies? I never allowed anyone to treat me that way. Do you really NEED to be part of her following? That is NOT a friend, that is a dictatorshipe.

[catnapper]

I think you already know she's not a friend. The other girls will catch on and leave her if you start the process by leaving first. They are probably afraid to stop being her friend because they were also threatened that they won't be able to talk to you (since you'd still be her friend)

Leave this mean girl in the dust and go make friends with Hannah (I have the feeling the "ugly" girl was way nicer and therefore a threat to the other girl)

[JenBKR]

A true friend raises you up, not holds you down.

[mike001]

Your "friend" needs counselling in a hurry. She has deep seated problems and you don't want to get caught in the middle. You should become your own person and make a new friend. If your other friends decide to ignore you to be her friend, I would say find a more mature bunch of friends, cause you surely can't refer to these girls as friends. Eventually others will wise up to her and decide to fly the coop too.

[mina'smomma]

Sweetheart no true friend would treat their friends that way. I would talk to your other friends and plan a day to ignore her. If they don't want to be as strong as you then there not friends at all. You just need to steer clear of her. Maybe she will get the hint.

[angelbow20]

Seriously get rid of her!!!! Who cares if the other girls wont talk to you that means they werent your true friend in the first place, you can make many more friends!!! She seriously needs help. why not talk to the other girls about and maybe they feel the same way you do... Even if you have to go to her parents or even her and talk about it tell her how you feel and if she doesnt like it then whatever your better than her anyway then!

[IRescue452]

I'd be seriously concerned that this girl has a mental disorder of some sort. Maybe you should talk to her parents or something, see if they can get her in somewhere for a diagnosis rather than you just dumping her as a friend.

[FarmGirl13]

Well, I'm not friends with Cassie anymore. What she said to Gtrace was the final straw!!!! :mad:

Well, last Friday was the school dance and Grace couldn't go cause her father was going into the hospital to get a surgery. Grace really wanted to be with her dad so she gave up the dance. when she told Cassie this, Cassie said the meanest thing. she said "forget (actually it was something else, but didn't want to offend anybody) your dad and come to the dance.'
I want up to her and told Cassie off. i said that wasn't rite and it was really really cruel.

so now I'm not talking to her.
I did talk to her parents and they just said they didn't know that she was being that mean. they told me that they would talk to Cassie. hopefully they did.... Thanks evryone! :)

[Argranade]

Cheers!

[Miss Z]

She sounds like the sort of friend you could well do without and the other 3 don't sound much better.

Move on and find a whole new set of friends - you deserve better

I agree with that, she sounds like a real nasty piece of work. No-one who hurts another so greatly should have the nerve to call that person their friend.

I'm glad that her parents are going to talk to her, perhaps it will help, although I do doubt it. She doesn't sound like the type to take advice.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Sometimes I feel very lucky that I am very close to my two best friends and that we always help each other out no matter what. I hope that everything gets better for you from here.

[joycenalex]

april, you did the right thing, and i'm proud of you, it was brave to stand up to a bully. regards, joyce

[AbbyMom]

Good for you for doing the right thing!

In most people's lives there comes a point when they realize that there are people who just aren't worth being around. They are trouble. They cause pain. They cause upset and distress wherever they go.

Frankly, some of these people may have real problems...but you can't solve them.

Part of being an adult is to be able to recognize who these people are and avoid them.

Sounds to be like you've recognized Cassie for what she is and that it's time to move on to people who can be real friends.

Tell Kelly, Stacey and Grace that and ask them to do the same.

[crow_noir]

Congratulations on being brave enough and standing up for Grace.

It was also good that you talked to Cassie's parents.

*hugs* G'luck. Hopefully Grace will respect and appreciate what you did and still want to be your friend.


Well, I'm not friends with Cassie anymore. What she said to Gtrace was the final straw!!!! :mad:

Well, last Friday was the school dance and Grace couldn't go cause her father was going into the hospital to get a surgery. Grace really wanted to be with her dad so she gave up the dance. when she told Cassie this, Cassie said the meanest thing. she said "forget (actually it was something else, but didn't want to offend anybody) your dad and come to the dance.'
I want up to her and told Cassie off. i said that wasn't rite and it was really really cruel.

so now I'm not talking to her.
I did talk to her parents and they just said they didn't know that she was being that mean. they told me that they would talk to Cassie. hopefully they did.... Thanks evryone!