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View Full Version : I wish I could help my mom



sparks19
03-28-2007, 11:50 PM
Sigh.....

My mom is going through so much right now...

My brother and his family are at total odds... my step sister and her daughter are at odds.... my step brother and his family are at odds... and it seems my mom gets caught right in the middle.

I wish she could take some time off work and come here.... 9hours away... where there is peace and quiet and no drama. I feel so helpless. she doesn't sound depressed or anything but I know she is having trouble sleeping. I hate that she is caught in the middle of all of this fighting.

I wish there was something I could do for her :(

Karen
03-29-2007, 12:00 AM
You are doing something. You are being the "port in a storm" and the one she can call to talk to about the others. And being away, she can do so without fearing you'll run into any of the others. Just by being "the good one" right now, you're helping, betcha a dollar.

sparks19
03-29-2007, 12:10 AM
You are doing something. You are being the "port in a storm" and the one she can call to talk to about the others. And being away, she can do so without fearing you'll run into any of the others. Just by being "the good one" right now, you're helping, betcha a dollar.


I feel bad because I haven't seen her since June.... that's a long time :(

I know she has been dealing with these issues for a long time... she actually ended up moving an hour away from the others just so they wouldn't use her as a babysitter all the time... she has a tough time saying no sometimes. I guess that is why she is so excited about my pregnancy lol she knows I won't just drop the baby off any ole time... not that I would do that.

I wish she could come for a visit... even just for a weekend and we could get out and do some stuff to take her mind off of everything....

to make matters worse.... the 25th of March was the 35th anniversary of her fathers tragic death.... he commited suicide :( I know that has been on her mind.

Catty1
03-29-2007, 08:16 AM
Maybe tell her you miss her and want to see her. She may be so caught up in the other stuff that this doesn't occur to her.

When my mom was caught up in my sister's care over the last few years, and understandably so (sis had MS), I occasionally had to gently remind her that she had another daughter too. Very gently. She just got whirled up in the other stuff. She would NEVER do this deliberately.

Telling your mom you miss her might help, particulary if you have been strong for her. WHICH IS GOOD. Just remind her that THIS kid needs to see her mom too. :)

sparks19
03-29-2007, 01:00 PM
Maybe tell her you miss her and want to see her. She may be so caught up in the other stuff that this doesn't occur to her.

When my mom was caught up in my sister's care over the last few years, and understandably so (sis had MS), I occasionally had to gently remind her that she had another daughter too. Very gently. She just got whirled up in the other stuff. She would NEVER do this deliberately.

Telling your mom you miss her might help, particulary if you have been strong for her. WHICH IS GOOD. Just remind her that THIS kid needs to see her mom too. :)


It's my fault I haven't seen her :( I haven't been able to get back home for a while... but my hubby had a great idea and I emailed my mom about it so hopefully they take us up on the offer. he said we should meet somewhere in the middle, like Naigara Falls, for a weekend.... no cell phones LOL so no one can get a hold of any of us hahaha.

I always tell her I love her :D actually we don't say I love you... we say "a doo doo" LOl because that's what the little ones always say and it's cute and funny. I talk to her on the phone for an hour or so every week and we always say that lol.

She is really trying to get away from all this drama. it is not fair of them to be putting her int he middle of their issues with their kids all the time. yes they need support but they can't be causing her this stress all the time.

She is 55 and when it is starting to affect her sleeping... that's not good. Not that 55 is old or anything but she shouldnt have to be losing sleep over these things.

her and I had our issues when I was a teen... I feel terrible for it now... but we are SO close now. We never thought it would happen that we would ever be practically best friends but I am so glad we are.... I just wish there was something I could do to get her away for a stress free weekend for once. I hope she takes us up on the Niagara falls offer. that will be fun.

but I will be sure to tell her flat out that I miss her very much. Thanks for the tip :D

Catty1
03-29-2007, 01:34 PM
I hope when she meets up with you and hubby, she tells the family to call her at a "forwarding" number - except it's the number for Crisis Intervention or something like that! :D

sparks19
03-29-2007, 01:39 PM
I hope when she meets up with you and hubby, she tells the family to call her at a "forwarding" number - except it's the number for Crisis Intervention or something like that! :D


HAHAHAHAHA that is a good one LOL I am gonna tell her that. Ha that gave me a good laugh lol