Something is rotten in the state of Denmark (major rant)

[IRescue452]

Ok, its not Hamlet, and its not Denmark. Its the world in general.
Lately I've been in a therapy group for depression. I've been rock bottom. I've been fighting insomnia for two months. I starting self-injuring again and also had a few suicidal moments. I've just been so stressed with getting my internship done, graduation plans, career plans, having my grandparents disown me, my dog being injured, and so on. Now I'm alone at school for the week while everybody else is on spring break. I don't know how much more I can take.
I talk on forums about my pets for some stress relief and because I love animals. And by choice I come into the dog house and other areas on different forums. All I see is people bashing others. Racism, gay bashing, religous intolerance. Is this what makes humanity tick? Its one thing to be prejudice in your mind, but its an extra step to make a post about people you wish were throw out of the country of out of the planet. Its a psychotic feature when people feel the need to go online and type these things.
One day when I'm really on a low, its just going to take one look at pet talker posts to push me over the edge of not wanting to live among certain people anymore. People really need to stop with the hate already.

[lizbud]

Do you think depression colors your view of the world ? There are bad
and good everywhere all the time in this world. Sometimes you have to look
a little harder to find the good, but it is there.

[mugsy]

Depression really sucks and I have had a lot of friends with depression bad enough to self injure, and while that is something I would never do and can't understand it, I empathize with you. My friend that self injures told me that if you are not of that mind then you don't understand it.

Anyway, maybe it might be in your best interest to avoid the Dog House for awhile until you get back on the straight and narrow again.

[Vela]

One day when I'm really on a low, its just going to take one look at pet talker posts to push me over the edge of not wanting to live among certain people anymore. People really need to stop with the hate already.

I'm sorry you feel so badly, but you can't blame conversations people have in the Dog House or on PT as a reason for you to kill yourself. Nobody makes you read it. If it's that upsetting don't read it. I have not seen any gay bashing or racism here and religious and political threads always get heated. If it's so upsetting just don't read it. You can't blame the people on PT for your state of mind. I hope you get to feeling better and can get out of your slump, but if PT is so upsetting, perhaps find another forum for now or don't come here if you feel it's going to cause you to kill yourself. You also can't make people on here responsible for your choices. I wish you good luck in finding a happier future.

[lady_zana]

Have you spoken to a doctor about your depression and your self-injurying? Perhaps the answer is medication. I am personally on Zoloft and most of the time, I love it. I have felt better than I have in years.

Is there a way you can NOT go to the Dog House and read some of the post? I understand most people will say, "Of course there is! - Just don't go!" but it might not be possible for you. I suffer from mild OCD and major depression. There were things I couldn't NOT do because of the OCD; I was drawn to them even if I knew they would only upset me. Do you feel like you HAVE to check the Dog House? If so, tell your doctor; you may have a touch of OCD as well. Things I had to look at would make my stomach hurt and make me nervous and shake if I tried to stay away.

And I know how silly it can make you feel! One of the things I cried over and had to keep doing was playing Kingdom Hearts! Imagine telling your doctor "I'm stuck on a game by Disney! I tried to hide the game from myself but I cried all night until I dug it out and played again!"

It sounds like you have a full plate right now. Does your school have a gay-straight alliance? Maybe when you have more time, even if it is after you graduate, you could join and help out with some of the activies. It might make you feel better, make you feel you are part of something worthwhile while allowing you to meet some great new people. I never went to my gay-straight alliance when I was in school but now that I've graduated, I go every week. I'm even going back to school next fall so I can run for an office!

Or if not your gay-straight alliance, there is probably another group you can join, something more suited to your interests.

I used to feel very much the same way; now I take my anger at people who like to put others down and use it make some good. It's hard and there are days when I want to scream "I just don't get it!" but I think I'm doing some good and you can too. Just know that people care about you - probably even more people than you think!

[wombat2u2004]

Hey ID........relax.....I think your posts are great.
Wombat