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zoey
02-02-2007, 08:30 AM
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



* Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Awww dogs and cats. How we love 'em both!!!!!

borzoimom
02-02-2007, 08:33 AM
ROFLMBO!!! Yup!! ;)

chocolatepuppy
02-02-2007, 08:46 AM
Hilarious!:D Having both dogs and cats, I can attest this is the truth! ;)

DrKym
02-02-2007, 09:08 AM
HYSTERICAL!!!! loved it!

zoey
05-28-2007, 08:16 AM
haha thought we could bump this up again.

i had the idea to use the dog philosophies as siggies, so i used several of them in the last few months around the net. :D
have adopted a cat too, whose story i have completed somewhere, and will post soon!

cats are so smart!

KittyGurl
05-28-2007, 01:23 PM
That is so funny. I love the part when the cat say's the bird is safe, for now! :)

Hellow
05-28-2007, 02:16 PM
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Cats locked up, birds and dogs rule. Just kidding!