My niece is moving out!!!

[caseysmom]

For anyone who has followed my little sage my niece is finally moving out!

For those who don't know the saga my brother died on July 30 and I took in his 22 year old daughter. I pushed her into therapy and she has since been diagnosed with aspergers. Her therapist wanted me to go to therapy but I told her I have 2 teenagers and work full time I don't have more to give.

I have been administrator on the estate and sold the house and the vehicles, paid all the bills, put her on my health insurance, took over payments on her cell phone, paid her car insurance. and I could go on and on

all with no thank you

the therapist called grandma and she is finally going to step up and help, my niece will move in with her Saturday...

My daughter cries about her cousin sharing her bathroon, she doesn't bathe often and only washes her hair every few weeks, it is really gross.

I am so happy to have my house back!

[gini]

I am happy for you..........you have been through a lot and have done so many things for your niece. It must have been a struggle every day.

You deserve to be happy and at peace.

[Queen of Poop]

I'm glad you and your family will be getting a break. How long will grandma be able to manage her?

[jazzcat]

That is great! I hope it all works out.

So when is the much needed vacation scheduled? :D

[Daisy and Delilah]

My hat goes off to you for doing what you've done for her. Not many people would have done all this. You have persevered through it all and now you get your life back. CONGRATULATIONS--ENJOY!!! :)

[Lobodeb]

That's fantastic!!! I'm so happy for you!

Are you packing your bags for Hawaii yet? :D :D :D

[Catty1]

I am a caring person who understands that your niece is fighting a horrible disorder....

but WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cause I care about YOU too! :D

[Pam]

It was a long time coming and I know you are happy. You have just reclaimed your own house and that must feel soooo good. I hope grandma can handle her.

[Freedom]

You must feel relieved! You have done a wonderful thing for someone who really needed assistance. The Aspergers may be part of the "no thank yous" coming your way. Try not to be too hard on her; she has a tough road ahead of her, even with your help and grandma's stepping in.

[BC_MoM]

Woohoo! :D

[catnapper]

What great news! I can only imagine how relieved you and your daughters are right now! those kids deserve some extra bonuses for being so considerate in this whole mess. You deserve sainthood ;)

[caseysmom]

Thanks everyone! I posted this thread then had to run the kids around.

Grandma is writing a contract that it will only be for a month. Grandmas son is very protective of grandma and I think he may be a bit mad that she got talked into taking my niece. Grandma is in good shape for being older, she is very active.

My niece's therapist believes she can live independently, I sure hope that is in her future. I realize the no thank you's are from the disease probably but its like living with an alcoholic, you know it is a disease but it sure doesn't make the day to day any easier.

As far as Hawaii the kids are pushing for Cancun because we went there 4 years ago, it is much more reasonable and the all inclusive part is great with kids. So that may happen this summer, I do want to take a little mini vacation in February to the beach house we stay at though.

[kimlovescats]

I certainly understand your relief! Congratulations! My only concern is if Grandma is only willing to let her stay one month, and then she "can't" or "won't" make it on her own ... then what? If she comes back begging you to take her in again, will you be strong enough to turn her away? I have been in this situation so many times with my own daughter ... I hope you are stronger at the "tough love" than I am!!! ;) You and your own daughters deserve your life as it used to be ... enjoy it!!!

Kim

[caseysmom]

I really can't imagine her coming back Kim, she really doesn't even speak to me. On the other hand if I found out she was homeless I would be devastated. The good thing is her inheritance will hopefully come soon after that month is up and when she has a chunk of money I can help her get set up in an apartment.

[cmayer31]

It was an amazing thing that you put yourself through to take her in and do the best while she was with you. That said, it was time for you to get your life back to normal and to let someone else make the sacrifice for a while!

Enjoy the return to somewhat normal and take that mini vacation; you’ve earned it! :)

[Karen]

Do, please, contact the lawyer about setting her inheritance up in a trust of some sort, so her rent can be assured from that for however long is possible. That will releive some of the stress on you and everyone else who will be worrying about her. And congratulations on getting your house back!

Aspergers is just now beginning to be diagnosed, never mind understood, it's too bad she had to get this far in life without anyone recognizing it! But at least she now has outside help.

[caseysmom]

Do, please, contact the lawyer about setting her inheritance up in a trust of some sort, so her rent can be assured from that for however long is possible. That will releive some of the stress on you and everyone else who will be worrying about her. And congratulations on getting your house back!

Aspergers is just now beginning to be diagnosed, never mind understood, it's too bad she had to get this far in life without anyone recognizing it! But at least she now has outside help.

Karen, I never knew this but her Grandmother just told me teachers tried to get her mom to look into it and she never did. She has some anger at her parents for not addressing this and frankly shame on my brother for not doing anything.

As far as money I do have a trust set up for her but she has to be willing to let me put the money in there, our relationship is not very good right now so that probably won't happen, on the other hand she is very tight with money, she has lived for 6 months on 1800 she got from my brothers last paycheck. She doesn't buy clothes, makeup, hair stuff, just nothing.

[shais_mom]

Good luck to Her and
{{hugs}} to you!

[caseysmom]

She moved!!! last night I told her I loved her and would always be here, I got no reaction, no love you too, to thank you for 6 months of free rent and board, nothen. I know she is ill but it is really hard not to be hurt and offended by her.

I asked her to leave the key under one of the potted plants when she leaves if nobody was home, she sat it next to the plant in plane view. Oh well at least I have my house back.

No joke I threw up when I was taking her bedding off her bed to wash.

[Kfamr]

Woohoo!

I know you must be relieved to have your home back, and your daughters too. I know what it's like, although not for 6 months, thankfully!

Good luck to her... and good luck getting that smell out. My uncle stayed with us for a few weeks once while he was getting back on his feet. All we had for him to sleep on was our couch. Well, when he left, we ended up getting a new couch the stench was SO bad, no matter what we did! :eek:

[caseysmom]

I have the windows opened in that room and in another part of the house to get some cross breezes going. I threw the bedding out in the garage, I think I will wash it and give it to her. I sure don't want it.

I have been spraying febreeze like crazy, she left a bunch of trash in the room too. My one daughter that shared a bathroom with her is very happy, my other daughter sort of feels bad. I feel bad for some of the things I said to her because she is ill, it was just exhausting.