Sorry I've been loopy for so many years...UPDATE: still no benifits

[king2005]

I've finally been told that I'm loosing my mind by friends. I've known for years that I haven't been mentally well, but who really wants to admit it while others haven't really noticed (or atleast said anything), I know I didn't.

Well I know several of you know I've been loopy over the past 6yrs I've been on PT & the ones that know me in person, or talk to me on a daily bases, know its about time I get some medical help.

My Anxiety has officially taken over my mind. I thought I had it under control, but the other day here on PT it was quite evident I didn't.. It got MUCH worse at home.

I'm going to the Dr.'s tonight with Chad. We are both going to try to get on Effexor.. Well Chad just needs more, hes been on it before & it helped him so much.


Please don't worry about the dogs (or my other critters), they have NEVER been miss handled by us or anything bad... Chad & I have both been loopy before the dogs. The dogs are not the cause... They do help a lot, as Bear is such a silly sucky poo at night I end up giggling for hours.

She does this silly thing to my face that I just cannot help but to be tickled & giggle. She'll put her lips right up to mine & gently lick once.. I'll giggle, then she'll do it again (just a little lick).. I'll try to shoo her away by vibrating my lips (I have no idea what its called hehe) & she'll stop licking & will put her lips pressed hard against mine... her hairs will tickle me so I'll giggle & the she'll do that tiny lick again... OMG its so much fun!! I did the vibrating thing hard on her lips & she was lifting her lips cause it was tickling her hehe then her wiskers would tickle me again & cause me to giggle, so she would get the little lick again hehehe I'll try to get a video of it, as its sooooo hard to explain.

Both Chad & I said last night that Bear is a totally different dog.. shes actually a dog & not a blob... I swear shes lost even more weight!!! She jumped over the couch this morning!!!!! When we first got her she could hardly walk onto the couch & if she tryed to hop onto the couch, her front legs would give out under her massive weight & she'd do a face plant into the couch.. She landed perfectly onto the couch this morning & I was totally shocked!! Its amazing what a good diet, excersize, & a little Hypothyroid medication can do in less then 3 weeks!! She is such a puppy!!!


Back to the origional thread...

I'm sorry if I have caused any problems or concerns(I know I've done both more then once), i truely am... I just thought it was fair that I let everyone know & say sorry :(

Kay, no worries about the swap, I'm still in!!

I wonder what its like to live without Anxiety, as I only know a life of Anxiety (I've had it all my life, but now its really out of control).

& don't worry too much about me if I dissapear for a bit. I have 2 wonder PT friends I talk to daily that are very supportive (I love you both!) & am sure if I need to dissaper for a bit to recover or something, they'll keep PT updated... Hopefully I'll react fine & can do it myself.

[Catty1]

Good for you. Do whatever it takes.

Life is too short to be miserable!

I have been there - and I find life may not get better, but I do!

hugs and good luck! :)

[caseysmom]

Good for you for being so mature, are any of us really "normal". Everyone has issues and I am glad you are dealing with your issues head on. I wish you good luck.

[king2005]

Thanks guys


Good for you for being so mature, are any of us really "normal". Everyone has issues and I am glad you are dealing with your issues head on. I wish you good luck.

Normal as in being able to function in society. I cannot function in society, there for I ain't normal :p


I'm at the point where I might have to apply for dissability. I'm really screwed up upstaires & its scaring me... My poor heart is in over drive & I feel odd in the chest (thats part of my anxiety) a lot lately.. esp the past few days (today it kinda hurts)

[caseysmom]

Thanks guys



Normal as in being able to function in society. I cannot function in society, there for I ain't normal :p

Sorry I didn't mean to imply that you don't have problems. Sounds like your having some serious problems and I am glad your getting help.

[king2005]

Sorry I didn't mean to imply that you don't have problems. Sounds like your having some serious problems and I am glad your getting help.

I didn't take offence to what you said, no worries

[JenBKR]

I'm glad you're getting this help Jess, I hope everything works out. You know you can come to me anytime you need to talk. ((((hugs))))

[Daisy and Delilah]

As I've told you before, I've been worried about you. I'm glad you're getting some help and I hope it all works out for you and Chad. Don't beat yourself up too much about this. Everyone is different and unique. Best wishes in everything and keep us posted as to how you're doing.

Kisses to Bear and Mr. Biggles :) {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[Pawsitive Thinking]

You've taken the first big step towards recovery - good luck to you both. Let us know how you get on {{{hugs}}}

[Blue_Frog]

Good on ya jess *hugs* -- let me know if you need anything :)

[Kfamr]

Great job - Jess! I wish you the best of luck and for Chad & Andrew, too.

Please do pop in if you need any advice about Bear & Mr. Biggles.

[borzoimom]

King-
Sometimes it takes a while for us to see we need help- if in fact- you do..
When I left my now ex- I suffered from terrible anxiety. My friends saw it first- and one night- I saw it- I woke up in a sweat and nothing I did would calm me down. I was totally terrified most of the time, and terribly anxious. I went to the doctor and they put me on medication, and I took it for 3 months. Then I noticed I was handling things better- things seemed more manageable and soon was off the medication.
Sometimes in a series of events- we all need help at sometime or another- maybe from a death in the family- or just flat out overwhelming stress. Its nothing to be ashamed of in anyway shape or form. As they told me when I was on medication those years ago " its better to see it, and get help and then comes relief, and a better quality of life for yourself as well..".
This statement from you I am sure has helped several of us understand better. Also let me state- even when I was in the same situation, all my animals were well cared for also- so I know you can do it too! Coming here is away of assurance now for you- and asking for help is 3/4 of anything - from getting the help with your animals to help for yourself..
Good luck- and remember- it can happen to any of us, and getting help is the biggest step of any part of recovery.. take care- Michelle..

[cassiesmom]

Hopefully I'll react fine & can do it myself.

King2005, please hug your Bear for me, I will cross my fingers and Cassie Cat will cross her paws for you. And we will say a prayer that you'll feel better and if you start taking medication that it will help. If you need a little help give a shout. Been there, oh, boy have I been there. [[hug]]

[cassiesmom]

are any of us really "normal".
LOL, LOL! Oh, I know I'm not! Would you accept "able to function in daily life"? That I can do.

[Karen]

Good for you for getting help, and you'll be in our prayers, that you encounter competent and compassionate medical professionals.

Give Bear a bellyrub for me, okay?

[kimlovescats]

(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) You are NOT alone in these feelings! I have Anxiety / Panic Disorder and Bi-Polar II Disorder as well. Getting the right medication is a true life-saver! Hang in there, and things WILL get better!!!

Kim ;)

[carole]

Jess you are not alone, many people here on PT have suffered from anxiety and hey girl it does not mean you are loopy at all, just that you are ill and need some help, and i am so proud that you have taken that step to recovery,I wish you only the best in your future, and i really hope life starts to improve once you are feeling better again, get well soon sweetie.HUGS.

[Lori Jordan]

It takes alot to come to terms with things like this,And with help you will feel like a totaly different person,i have suffered with depression for many years,I am glad you are going to get the help you need!

[king2005]

Thanks guys. I have to wait a couple of weeks, as I found a company I can get health benifits from, but only for non prior stuff. So I have to try to cope until I get accepted & then go to the Dr.

If the meds weren't so horribly costly I'd just pay from my pocket. But I was told that it'll cost me 100-200/month :eek: I'm not that rich

[cassiesmom]

Isn't that the limit. Could you ask your doctor to give you physician's samples until your health insurance coverage comes through. I can't send you the pack my doctor gave me because of mailing it across state lines. They might have to ring their pharmaceutical rep and have some brought over but it is worth it for your well-being.

[king2005]

Isn't that the limit. Could you ask your doctor to give you physician's samples until your health insurance coverage comes through. I can't send you the pack my doctor gave me because of mailing it across state lines. They might have to ring their pharmaceutical rep and have some brought over but it is worth it for your well-being.


I cannot go to the Dr. cause it'll go on my reccord & I'll get denyed by the company :(

I told my dad what I was doing & he was all happy. He looked into it while I was sleeping this morning & called me at work.. he was worried I had already seen a dr. Luckly I didn't... I could tap into Chad's meds, but the problem is, what if they put me on other stuff & its taking more pils away from Chad & he needs everyone too.

Its been pretty bad since last night & I've never had it like this for this long, so its really stressful on me & making me really tired. Not sure why its making me tired, but I feel weak & sooooo sleepy.

My chest feels like Chad is sitting on it, or its filled with bricks... I can easly go into minor shock (minor shakes, hotflashes on my back & a not so happy feeling stomach)... Its annoying as heck, esp the hot back... It feels like waves of heat dancing on the right side of my back... Its usually on all of my lower back, but not today... its weird.

[borzoimom]

Then go to the emergency room- they will process it, it will go through the insurance as an emergency- and you will get a persciption..

[king2005]

Then go to the emergency room- they will process it, it will go through the insurance as an emergency- and you will get a persciption..

I don't have insurance yet. I have to wait until tomorrow, so I can buy the insurance, then wait a lousy 2 weeks, until I get approved, then I can go to the Dr. to get a prescription.

Its a slow process :(
But I've already started filling the paperwork out, so I'm already starting the process.

In Ottawa there is a Dr. that'll give out a lot of samples to people who cannot afford it, & need it. I wish I was there or closer so we could keep a stock pile.. but its a 500km drive there & back.. yikes

In the long run it'll be cheaper, but its gonna put a lot of km onto the poor cars

[borzoimom]

I don't have insurance yet. I have to wait until tomorrow, so I can buy the insurance, then wait a lousy 2 weeks, until I get approved, then I can go to the Dr. to get a prescription.

Its a slow process :(
But I've already started filling the paperwork out, so I'm already starting the process.

In Ottawa there is a Dr. that'll give out a lot of samples to people who cannot afford it, & need it. I wish I was there or closer so we could keep a stock pile.. but its a 500km drive there & back.. yikes

In the long run it'll be cheaper, but its gonna put a lot of km onto the poor cars
doesnt matter- if you live in the US they have to provide medical attention- and that includes the mind..

[cassiesmom]

King2005, I'm an insurance nurse. Here are some thoughts. Effexor is made by Wyeth Pharmaceuticals. In the U.S. there is a program called the Partnership for Prescription Assistance that helps patients find pharmacy assistance programs for which they qualify. Their number is 888-477-2669. I'm hoping they can connect you to a similar program for Canada residents. They also have a Web site, pparx.org. I also found a phone number for Wyeth Pharmaceuticals in Markham, Ontario on Wyeth's Web site: 905-470-3600 (50 Minthorn Blvd., Markham, ON L3T 7Y2). They too might be able to help you access a free or low-cost program till your insurance comes through. I hate to hear that you're not feeling well, I'd give you mine if I could. I've heard of people getting relief with both vitamin B complex and Saint John's Wort. I take a multivitamin that has B complex in it; I've never tried Saint John's Wort so I can't tell you one way or the other about that. Good luck!

[cassiesmom]

One more question for you King2005 - Would your shelter arrange to place both Bear and Mr. Biggles in another home for awhile until you get your health under control? I know they both have special needs but having the responsibility and the financial burden for them removed for awhile might be a help to you.

[kimlovescats]

. I can easly go into minor shock (minor shakes, hotflashes on my back & a not so happy feeling stomach)... Its annoying as heck, esp the hot back... It feels like waves of heat dancing on the right side of my back... Its usually on all of my lower back, but not today... its weird.

What you are describing is a full blown Panic Attack! I know, I have them often ... I have Panic Disorder. Certain anti-depressants do help with panic and anxiety, but I still have to keep Xanax on hand to ward off some of the bad ones ... like you are having! Don't share anyone else's meds .... get your own!!! Go to the health dept or ER like others suggested! Go while you are having an attack, so they will understand!

Good luck,
Kim

[king2005]

remember I'm in Canada, its different here. If it goes onto my record, the company will deny me.

Once I'm with the company I wont have to pay a penny for my meds, as it'll be 100% free (GO CANADA!)

[borzoimom]

Cassiesmom- correct me if I am wrong- but a mental situation is NOT considered a " pre- existing" condition is it? Considering its not predictable etc.. Also- a panic disorder- can be caused temporarily ... Also- you are totally right about the b complex helping tremendously. When I was going through all those hormone changes, my doctor told me to take it too. ( As well as you.. lol). I could tell if I didnt take it- it sure did help.

[king2005]

What you are describing is a full blown Panic Attack!


On a scale from 1-10 it was a 2.5-10 Mine get far worse then that. Those are the ones I fear. Its really hard for me to get a 10-10 but they are really scary going into it... I don't remember much if anything when the 10-10 has hit its peek... I only remember waking up the following day feeling very tired, sore, & a headach. Almost like someone beat me with a 2x4. My ex told me what I do, when I'm going through a 10-10, but ummm its kinda embarassing to repeat in a public forum.

I always thought that was a full blown panic attack.

So if my tiny ones are real full blown panic attacks, then what the heck are my 10-10s then?

[cyber-sibes]

I could tap into Chad's meds, but the problem is, what if they put me on other stuff & its taking more pils away from Chad & he needs everyone too. Definitly not a good idea. There are programs from pharmaceutical companies to help with medicine costs, as mentioned. Google for them and go there first. Good luck, insurance can be a nightmare. I fully understand why you don't want it on your med records, but isn't the diagnosis already in your records? Unless this is a really recent thing, who diagnosed you?

[king2005]

Definitly not a good idea. There are programs from pharmaceutical companies to help with medicine costs, as mentioned. Google for them and go there first. Good luck, insurance can be a nightmare. I fully understand why you don't want it on your med records, but isn't the diagnosis already in your records? Unless this is a really recent thing, who diagnosed you?

It is & isn't in my records. I've gone in wondering why my heart hurts so much & I cannot breath in or out from the pain. They said its anxiety & I have to live with it. So no meds were required.

I had a break down a few years back & had to take 2 weeks off (dr. wanted more, but my situation was gonna be different, so 2 weeks was all I needed). & nothing was given to me.

The second I get a prescription for a long term drug, is when the company isn't going to cover it for me.

There is no insurance here in Canada, so I cannot comment on that.

When we get health benifits for any company our meds are 100% covered. We don't pay anything here, or atleast in this province anyways.

[cyber-sibes]

It sounds like its more a problem with brain chemistry than situational. (not that I'm an expert, just sounds like it) You shouldn't have to live with this level of anxiety, I hope you are able to get on meds soon, they'll really help. Will keep you in my prayers!

[lizbud]

It is & isn't in my records. I've gone in wondering why my heart hurts so much & I cannot breath in or out from the pain. They said its anxiety & I have to live with it. So no meds were required.

I had a break down a few years back & had to take 2 weeks off (dr. wanted more, but my situation was gonna be different, so 2 weeks was all I needed). & nothing was given to me.

The second I get a prescription for a long term drug, is when the company isn't going to cover it for me.

There is no insurance here in Canada, so I cannot comment on that.

When we get health benifits for any company our meds are 100% covered. We don't pay anything here, or atleast in this province anyways.


I really don't understand. If you get insurance, are you saying that they
do not cover mental health issues? Anxiety is often treated with meds, if
only for a short time. It's wrong to tell you you just have to live with it
with no help at all.

[cassiesmom]

Cassiesmom- correct me if I am wrong- but a mental situation is NOT considered a " pre-existing" condition is it? Considering its not predictable etc.. Also- a panic disorder- can be caused temporarily ... Also- you are totally right about the b complex helping tremendously. When I was going through all those hormone changes, my doctor told me to take it too. ( As well as you.. lol). I could tell if I didnt take it- it sure did help.

You know, I'm not absolutely sure. I'd have to check with underwriting. I just don't want that administrative sort of thing to be a hindrance to King2005 getting the coverage she needs.

About the B complex - I talked to the pharmacologist at CVS. She suggested a combination vitamin tablet of B complex with C. Several people in our office have had bad colds over the past couple months, and C is thought to support the immune system. So I went ahead and bought it.

[king2005]

It sounds like its more a problem with brain chemistry than situational. (not that I'm an expert, just sounds like it) You shouldn't have to live with this level of anxiety, I hope you are able to get on meds soon, they'll really help. Will keep you in my prayers!

I know its a chemical imballancement more then anything else. Only extreame situations give me really bad Anxiety attacks.. I'll list the only one that has ever given me a 10-10... Spousal abuse (Verbal, Physical, & Mentally).. thats a 10-10.. nothing I have to really worry about now, as I'm single & well not overly interested in dating, not saying I wont, but ya, its more then likely not gonna happen. I'm also happy & more then welcomed to stay with Chad & Andrew. (everything is 100% normal with Chad, I'm sooo thrilled to have him back).

I tried talking to Dr.s in the past & they all brushed me off :( I'm going back years ago. Then when it started to get worse I gave up hope on getting help, as it was useless in my eyes.. As the only help I got was to deal with it. So I have tried. Now my friends are complaining so I know it has to be bad.

[Queen of Poop]

In the short term, could you try some Rescue Remedy to help calm you down. While it might not fix the problem it might alleviate some of your symptoms.

[king2005]

I really don't understand. If you get insurance, are you saying that they
do not cover mental health issues? Anxiety is often treated with meds, if
only for a short time. It's wrong to tell you you just have to live with it
with no help at all.

I'm in Canada, not the USA, we don't have this insurance you guys have. Ours is different.

If I was given a company when I started working, then the company would cover prior things.. But because I'm not, i'm a contractor i get the poop deal.

I could go with a nother company that allows that, but the monthly cost would be higher & well, I can just bairly afford the cheap company I picked.

[king2005]

You know, I'm not absolutely sure. I'd have to check with underwriting. I just don't want that administrative sort of thing to be a hindrance to King2005 getting the coverage she needs.

About the B complex - I talked to the pharmacologist at CVS. She suggested a combination vitamin tablet of B complex with C. Several people in our office have had bad colds over the past couple months, and C is thought to support the immune system. So I went ahead and bought it.

I'll look into B & C. Then I'll get Chad to start taking it too

[CathyBogart]

I've had the joys of being sick while waiting for US insurance companies to come through with their paperwork and such, so I know how much fun that is. I'm Bi-polar, and I can tell you certainly that once I had my meds tweaked to the correct amount it made a world of difference.

Only problem now is if I miss a dose (like last night) I wake up with a wicked headache. *scowl*

[king2005]

*shakes finger* don't forget your meds...

I'm going to find it interesting taking the meds. I had to stop taking Cyclen21 cause I would miss several days, if not whole weekends & I was on it for 5yrs at that time. I'm hoping its only going to be once a day & the same stuff Chad is on, cause then we can take it at the same time & make sure we've each taken it. + if we go out or something & one forgets to bring their meds, we can share.

[PJ's Mom]

That thread was closed. Don't drag it in here.

Jess, take your meds!! :D

[Suki Wingy]

I really hope it helps. I kinda know what you're talking about but with me it's more mild and isolated.

[mike001]

KING---If you're in Canada, you can apply for medical coverage from the trillium plan. I don't quite know how it works, but I know a family that gets their meds from this program.
I'm really sorry to hear about your trouble, but congratulations on recognizing that you do need help, that's the first big step. Everyone seems to need help of some kind at different times in their lives, I hope you'll get back on track real quick. Borzoid is right, you can go to the emergency and they will probably give you a prescription until you can get help.
Good luck...will be cheering for you from home. :)

[king2005]

KING---If you're in Canada, you can apply for medical coverage from the trillium plan. I don't quite know how it works, but I know a family that gets their meds from this program.
I'm really sorry to hear about your trouble, but congratulations on recognizing that you do need help, that's the first big step. Everyone seems to need help of some kind at different times in their lives, I hope you'll get back on track real quick. Borzoid is right, you can go to the emergency and they will probably give you a prescription until you can get help.
Good luck...will be cheering for you from home. :)

I googled "trillium plan canada" & found the site... I could be wrong but it looks like you have to be an employee to get the health benifits.

[king2005]

Jess, take your meds!! :D

Yes Mother :D

[king2005]

Well I found a cheaper Health Benifits. Its gonna cost me 50.49/month, & it can start as early as March 1st :( I was really hopping for sooner.

[Catty1]

Have you seen a doc to make sure you get the right meds?

HUGS! February is a SHORT month. :)

[king2005]

Have you seen a doc to make sure you get the right meds?

HUGS! February is a SHORT month. :)

I can't cause I can get denyed for my benifits or have to pay more/month (which I cannot afford)...

I'm going to go to a clinic & just talk, to a Dr. If they will sneek me samples then I'll go that route, if they are gonna write it down, then I'll have to walk out.

I know a clinic in Ottawa that'll help me & we're going down not this weekend, but next, so I'll go to it & will get a much as I can to cover me until my benifts start in March.

I've been going nuts since last night... Ron kicked his g/f out & was ranting in the car (raising his voice, but not yelling)... that set me off & today I swear I have ants in my pants. I'm completely aggetaded... My friend thinks it cause I'm nervous about the benifits & excited all at the same time... Honestly I don't care, its really getting hard to hide... I work hard to hide my anxiety, but its getting really hard to do lately.

[king2005]

Still no benifits :(
I think I was denyed. I knew that was coming.


I have a couple other plans I'm going to try... I'm going to go to a Dr. get a note saying it would be best for me to work from home to lower all stress.
or
Just go on dissability & get meds that way. I can still work then, but ya...

I'm having a bad day. Its been bothering me for a while & its hitting me semi hard right now... I'm fidigity, watery eyes, heavy chest & my arm muscles kill. All I want to do is go home. I've hardly done anywork, but I wont get paid if I leave & I need the $, so I'm stuck :(

[kimlovescats]

I'm so sorry, sweetheart! :( I know all about panic / anxiety / depression ... it is NOT fun! Please try to hang in there, there just has to be some way for you to get some help with medication.

Hugs,
Kim

[king2005]

All I want to do is go home. Thats all I can think about. I don't know why its so bad, its so stupid.

[kimlovescats]

All I want to do is go home. Thats all I can think about. I don't know why its so bad, its so stupid.

It can be very debilitating! :(

Hugs,
Kim

[king2005]

this whole thing makes me mad. the stupid dr. could have done something about this many many yrs ago, when I would complaing about bad chest pains.. I wa always brushed off & here I am 100 times sicker then ever & learning all my other feelings are also from Anxiety... stupid uselss dr.s