How long do you grieve?

[JuniorxMyxLove]

How long do you wait before, if ever, getting another pet after one dies?

When my dog died, we got another puppy 2 weeks later, but tht was because my grandma's friend's daughter's dog had puppies, 9, that needed a home, so we took one.

My cat, Cole, just died last Thursday. The house seems so emptey with only Gypsy, Lexi, and Sadie. But everytime I think about maybe getting another pet, its too hard. I know its too soon. But maybe, in a few months or so...

Just wondering what your view on this was..

[Kalei]

I always think "What would my passed pet want me to do?" And whenever I think of that, I believe that my pet that died would not want me to grieve so sadly forever, but to spread my love to another and give another a grand home like the pet did I had before:)

[catmandu]

I mourn for My Pet Angels every day.
And I adopt the Found Cats in thier memory.
In thier name I take in the poor and homeless.

I will never ever forget my Angel Friends.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/cat%20photos%202/cats101220.jpg

And neither will thier Cat Friends.

[jackie]

Everyone is different, so you just need to do what feels right for you.

[lvpets2002]

:) I think Gary said this in such a Beautiful Manner..
I mourn for My Pet Angels every day.
And I adopt the Found Cats in thier memory.
In thier name I take in the poor and homeless.

I will never ever forget my Angel Friends.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/cat%20photos%202/cats101179.jpg

And neither will thier Cat Friends.

[heidiv]

Oh boy that is a loaded question..........How long to wait?? Like many have said its mainly up to you....From experience I had to greive a very long time for my little Cilla Sue...... She was attached to me by the hip I think at times... Not having her around really bothered me but for my other kitties I really needed to give myself and them time to adjust to Pricillas presence being gone..... I think I started to look for another pet in about a month or so. I had one type of cat that I wanted to take her spot. I still to this day cry about her.....You never forget the ones you loved so dearly.... We adopted Chloe about 1 1/2 monthes later. She was a wonderful little sweetheart she was so sick when we picked her up that it took a while to get her back to health I think that was the reason I healed so well I found some peace taking care of Chloe........ Chloe is still one of the sweetest cats I have ever owned..... But she has a different personality than Pricilla had so about a year later we adopted Paris who was a Blue Point Siamese (The same as Pricilla and the same personality also) I wouldn't take back one day of Paris's personality I just love her dearly as I do all of my cats but Paris was I believe sent to us from Pricilla ;)

[sirrahved]

I've found it is easier if I adopt again right away. It's like they fill a little bit of the hole in your heart.

[Freedom]

It varies from person to person, from pet to pet.

When Mr. Amber Cat died, I couldn't even consider adopting for over a year. When Dazzle was gone, the house seemed so empty (we had FOUR other cats, for goodness sakes!) that in 2 weeks we had another little kitten.

The important thing for me is, the new pet is NOT taking the place of the old pet! Each pet wants to be loved and cared for in his or her own right. It's like, you love your grandmother and your grandfather. One dies. You don't love the other one in place of, but because you love that one. Hope this helps.
Sandra

[Taz_Zoee]

Freedom said exactly what I was thinking. When ever you decide to get another pet....it is not to take the place of the one that has passed. But as sirrahved said...it fills the hole in your heart.
When our DJ dog passed it was only three weeks before we got another dog. That was because the house seemed so empty without DJ. Zoee didn't replace DJ, they are two completely different dogs, with different personalities.
Now when (and I hope this is a LONG ways away) Taz leaves me, I will just see how I feel at that time and make my decisions then.
So it's really how you are feeling. Do not feel guilty if you get another cat right away. If it will make you feel better, then go for it. Cole will understand you've got lots of love to share. :D

[Craftlady]

The next adoption (s) always lets you know its the right time. :)

[jennielynn1970]

I mourn for My Pet Angels every day.
And I adopt the Found Cats in thier memory.
In thier name I take in the poor and homeless.

I will never ever forget my Angel Friends.

And neither will thier Cat Friends.


Very eloquently put, Gary. :)

I agree. I mourn for my past pets (my own and my fosters) every day. they were a part of my life, and that will never change.

It also all depends on the person. Everyone handles death differently. Many children, we're talking elementary school, recover from the loss of a pet quite quickly. Many times this is because they just don't really understand that death is so final, and they aren't to the point where they understand death and dying very well.

You need to decide when the time is right for you. Don't rush into anything. When the time is right, and when you meet the "right" pet to adopt/rescue, you'll know it in your heart.

Take care, and take comfort in the pets you still have with you. They can show great empathy when someone they love is grieving.

Hugs... Jennie

[orangemm]

On the windowsill above my kitchen sink I have 4 tiny pictures of some of my RB cats, so I can remember them every day. After all these years, I still miss them dearly and I hope they can somehow sense my feelings.

It's just different for everyone. Do what feels right for you.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

After my first cat Sydney passed away, I wanted to wait to get another cat. But Sydney sent us to a shelter and told Maya to yell untill we noticed her!
Thank you Sydney!!

[catlover4ever]

Everyone's mourning period is different. I'm like Gary...I miss my passed babies everyday and if and when a new one presents at my door like Scarlet did....I welcome her.....afterall it must have been one of my angels to have sent them my way.

You and only you will know when it is time...or maybe your angel Cole will send one your way.

(((HUGS))) We all know how empty you feel.

[catnapper]

I'd get another pet immediately. I don't look at it as replacement, I look at it as a homage that they were so important to you and they left such a gaping hole that you had to fill it in order to feel complete.

Just because you get another pet right away doesn't mean you no longer grieve for your lost one. I still miss my RB Tiny, and he died 20 years ago. I think another pet is important to the healing process though. (thats just me though, you already stated you think its too early, so its not good for you.)

[Felicia's Mom]

I have done it differently each time.
After Inky died, I waited 3 years to get Cleo.
After Cleo died, I waited only a few days to get Felicia.
After Shadow died, I waited 2 months to get Beau.

You can have another cat and still be grieving for your lost one.

[momcat]

First of all, I offer my sincerest sympathy on the loss of your pet and know that my thoughts are with you. Grieve is something we all do in our own way and in our own time. There is no right or wrong way to accept and come to terms with the loss of a loved one, especially a pet. They have such a unique and special impact on us and every aspect of our daily lives. The folks here at Pet Talk understand that the loss of a pet is the loss of your best friend. Again, there are no hard and fast rules about adopting another kitty or puppy. When the time is right you'll know. I firmly believe that our pets choose us, they seem to instinctively know who will return their unconditional love with the care and attention every pet deserves and they sure seem to choose someone who really needs them.
Take your time and follow your heart. There's a furry little bundle of joy out there waiting for you. When you find each other, you'll know because it will feel so right.

[Kalei]

When my rabbit Baby died 5 years ago I felt like I died myself. To this day I still sometimes cry because I miss her and still love her so much. But now I have another bunny and she and I are certainly bonding very good.:)

[Pawsitive Thinking]

When the time is right your next pet willl find you....

[Barbara]

It's up to you.
You will never forget Cole.
But if you feel like it you can make a new kitty happy. :)

[kb2yjx]

All the responses are very good. I NEVER forget those who have gone to the Bridge. I have their photos on my desk in the living room. Their ashes are in special containers. However, I think the cats that we have spent a portion of our lives with, would say that they left so there would be room in our home and heart to save yet another life. I am quite sure that Boo played a part in Hayley coming to our home, and Spunky surely prompted Hope Simone to dangle in the cage screaming to get my attention!!! You will do the right thing, and Cole will be proud of what you do!!!

[Miss Z]

For me, I usually end up with an immensely long gap before I get another pet to fill the space of the previous, although this isn't entirely down to the length I grieve. I'd probably say that I don't grieve that long, about 4 or 5 days and I'll be back on my feet usually. That's because I stick to the belief that my pets wouldn't want me to be sad for them but to be happy that I had the pleasure of owning them. Of course from time to time I still feel sad about them, but that's nothing compared to the horrible empty feeling you experience in the first few days of grief.

The main reason the gap is so long is because my parents don't want us to have any more. They'll always tell me how much easier it is to get things done now that pet has gone and how I should be caring more about the pets I have rather than wanting another (of course, I deeply love the pets I've got and wouldn't swap them for the world, but my parents sometimes believe that when I want a new pet I'm otherwise saying, "Hey, I'm bored of Tia, I need something new to occupy me!" :mad: ). I'm still waiting to finally persuade them to bring another cat into our lives after we lost Zsa-Zsa back in July.

[Cataholic]

Freedom really expressed my thoughts best.

I recently lost Tenny, and the wound is so fresh for me. Even though I have 5 other cats, my home is emptier, noticably. While I do not plan on taking on another cat anytime soon, I think I will "know" when the time is right.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[kuhio98]

I mourn the loss of Kuhio every day (5 yrs later). But, we adopted another kitty less than a month after Kuhio died. Your grief doesn't stop just because you adopt again. Adopting again doesn't mean you're "over" it. Just my opinion.

[kb2yjx]

Kuhio98!!!! Those are very wise words!!!

[JuniorxMyxLove]

I'm still waiting to finally persuade them to bring another cat into our lives after we lost Zsa-Zsa back in July.

I lost a Zsa-Zsa on October 3, 2005! It was actually picking her up from getting shaved[her knots were too much to brush out] that we saw the litters of kitties and ended up bringing Gypy and Lexi home!

Thanks to everyone for the great responses. Maybe in a few months or something, I'll start talking to my parents about getting another cat. Maybe. Or maybe I'll just stick with my kittiess and dog and guinea pigs. You never know.

For every pet that's died[not counting Mitch and Spike, they died in pre-current vet days] we got a plaster thing with the pet's paw print pushed into it. On our christmas tree, we put Bonnie, Zsa-Zsa, and Freddie. In the order they died. Freddie was my little angel. We spent all our time together. When she died[cancer] I was torn apart. But, having Cole[we already had him but we weren't close] really helped me. Also, I had my riding, an hour a week that I could forget about not having Freddie or Zsa-Zsa there anymore. Cole's pawprint isn't wrapped up in a cupboard like the others.. It's hanging right there, where I can pet it and remember him everyday. It's not going away, not out of sight like the others.

[catmandu]

I wish to change the word commerate for mourn.
I miss my Pet Angels but am not sad , but have such happy memories and fond times of the years we spent together.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v621/catmandu/cat%20photos%202/cats101220.jpg

And I have the feeling that Cole and The Pet Angel Relocation and Adoption Squad are finding you a new Cat to love, and share your home with evenas we type.
Cole doesnt want his Guardians to be sad and lonely, and there are always Cats who need a Great Furr Ever Home.