Ask the Edster?

[RICHARD]

One in an occasional series.
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Ed D. Katz has agreed to a sit down interview to clear the air on some of the most asked questions about living with a feline!



Ed,
Is your tail an autonomous appendage or do you have control over it?

Ed:
So flipping my tail in your face while you are busy does bother you, eh?
-------

Ed,
Why do you nip at me while I am giving you a scratch?

Ed:
Because I love you?
---------
Ed,
Why do you sit and the door and cry sometimes?

Ed:
Because I love you? No stupid, It means I want to go outside and sit in my cage.
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Ed,
At night, Why do you cuddle and then get up and leave after I get comfortable?

Ed :
Because I can!
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Ed,
What are the signs that make a full bladder a comfortable place to nap out?

Ed:
Because I love you?
Like, are these questions for real?
---------
Ed,
What is the advantage to puking up a hairball on a newly cleaned and mopped floor?

Ed:
I don’t mop, so I don’t care.
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Ed,
What is the meaning of life?

Ed:
You are stupid...think about it....
You try to get someone to feed you, love you and clean up after you...all while sleeping all day long...heh heh heh...This interview is over!



Ah,
Thank you Ed....... :eek: :o

[lvpets2002]

:eek: Oh WoW Edster & you had all the right answers.. I dont think I want the girls to read & get any ideas.. Yow right they do all of the same things && great now I know their answers.. :D

[Donnaj4962]

The Great Edster speaks only the truth! ;)

[catmandu]

You forgot to ask Edster whether he would like a Girl Cat, as it may well mean saving a nice Girl Cat from going to the Gas Chamber.
I am betting the Edster who say yes to that, as he has such a big heart.
And who wouldnt want a sweetheart?

[cassiesmom]

Dear Ed,
Why does a cat prefer food from a freshly opened can at each meal? Leftovers are sometimes a necessary evil.

Thank you,
Cassie's Mom

[RICHARD]

Dear Ed,
Why does a cat prefer food from a freshly opened can at each meal? Leftovers are sometimes a necessary evil.

Thank you,
Cassie's Mom


ED:

The bouquet from previously savored food is a little flat.
Oxygen has a habit of robbing that wonder scent from old food.


Buy small cans in a variety pack, less waste and more flavors!

[AbbyMom]

Dear Ed

Why does a cat not prefer a can of food that he preferred last week?

Sincerely,
AbbyMom

[cassiesmom]

The great Ed-ster has spoken the truth! And, Ed, that makes perfect sense to me when I think about my finicky eater.

Why do cats do that elevator rear thing? My cat didn't always - it just started a year or two ago. The veterinarian told me that when she places herself in the meat loaf position (facing away from me) for sleep, it's because she considers me her alpha and is being deferential by pointing her bottom in my direction, as she would have with her mom-cat or her kitten would have with her. I wonder if a mom-cat grooms her kitten's bottom in response? Maybe elevator rear is a similar kitten to mom-cat thing.

You are planning to put your wise and insightful remarks into print, right?


ED:

The bouquet from previously savored food is a little flat.
Oxygen has a habit of robbing that wonder scent from old food.


Buy small cans in a variety pack, less waste and more flavors!

[RICHARD]

Dear Ed

Why does a cat not prefer a can of food that he preferred last week?

Sincerely,
AbbyMom


AM,

Ed Says,
Variety is the spice of life.

I like chicken and Liver, but two weeks in a row??? ;) :)

-----------------------

CM,

Ed Says,

The Alpha thing sounds about right...The EB thing might be another sign of trust. I mean, you wuouldn't stick a hiney up in the air to have a stranger scratch it, eh? :eek: :D

[catnapper]

Ed,
Why must cats make humans suffer the cold shoulder after we do important things like brush them or trim their nails?

Another related question:
How long is a proper cold shoulder supposed to last?

[slick]

Edster:

I humbly ask thee....

Why is it that you think we hoomans need to keep warm by having you lay on our heads on the hottest day of the year?

Why do you choose to sleep on the couch on the coldest day of the year when we hoomans needs your warmth?

**bows to the sacred one**...I am not worthy, I am not worthy

[RICHARD]

Edster:

I humbly ask thee....

Why is it that you think we hoomans need to keep warm by having you lay on our heads on the hottest day of the year?

Why do you choose to sleep on the couch on the coldest day of the year when we hoomans needs your warmth?

**bows to the sacred one**...I am not worthy, I am not worthy

Slick,

Ed says,

Laying on your head is merely a way to transfer brain signals to you hoomans.
We have been trying to get you to learn the "way of the cat" for centuries.
We are still trying!

Aha, another hooman foible!
Yoiu want our warmth but yet you to refuse to submit to the biscuit making and 'bladder laying', then you have to get up to pee...I cannot answer that, you hoomans are to finicky. ;)



-------------------------

Ed,
Why must cats make humans suffer the cold shoulder after we do important things like brush them or trim their nails?

Another related question:
How long is a proper cold shoulder supposed to last?


CN,
Ed says,
Can you spell Diva or Prima Donna?

We don't like the extra attention you pay us....we can groom ourselves and why do you think you have expensive furniture? To keep our nails short!

We can take care of ourselves, Thank you very much. ;)

A cold shoulder lasts until we need something, Like a scritch, food or water...

no longer that four hours, at the most.

[cassiesmom]

Ed, has your person ever used "alternative" filler - wheat, pine, recycled newspaper pellets etc. for your cat box? Could you offer an expert opinion? I am the personal servant of a furry fussbudget who dislikes clumping litter. It gets between the toes, you see. She's okay with regular filler. I'm looking for input about clay alternatives.

[RICHARD]

Ed, has your person ever used "alternative" filler - wheat, pine, recycled newspaper pellets etc. for your cat box? Could you offer an expert opinion? I am the personal servant of a furry fussbudget who dislikes clumping litter. It gets between the toes, you see. She's okay with regular filler. I'm looking for input about clay alternatives.


Ed says,

This is one question that I cannot answer...My hooman uses clay only.
with baking soda smell stinker stopper....

Jonny cat with Arm and Hammer works the best for me....I do love to use the box and then climb over my dad's head so he can smell the soda.. :D

[catfamily]

This thread needed my full attention.So I had to make a pot of coffee,sit,read and enjoy :)
Tell Ed I said Hello and that my girls are always asking for him :rolleyes: :D

[cassiesmom]

Ed, Cassie said to tell you the advantage of leaving a hairball on a clean floor is that you get to watch your hoomin clean that spot again. She thinks hairballs are better left on carpet, though. Makes for a more energetic reaction from the hoomin getting out the bottle of carpet cleaner.

[joycenalex]

...why does squirty drool when the primo catnip comes out of storage tin?
all the cats get very happy, but only she drools. thank you, puzzled human joyce

[RICHARD]

This thread needed my full attention.So I had to make a pot of coffee,sit,read and enjoy :)
Tell Ed I said Hello and that my girls are always asking for him :rolleyes: :D

Thanks for the thoughts and he E\dster sends his greeting to the girls....

No decaf for him.....He loves his rocket fuel!

Cassiesmom,

The Edster loves to see his dad go ballistic and keep a clean house.
;)



Joycenalex,

Ed says...

Well,
The good stuff makes the me go wacky too....Think about that steak or favorite food you love so much.....

It's actually the thought of getting a 'fix'...Most junkies have to do it themselves. When you can get high by just sitting next to the storage bin and begging, what else do you need in life?

Someone to change the litter in the box and feed ya? :D

[rg_girlca]

Oh Edster, I didn't realize how wise you were. :D

You have answered so many questions that have had us puzzled for years.

Thank you. :)

[cassiesmom]

Dear Edster - When my cat appears to be staring at something I am unable to see, what is she really watching? When I see her eyes fixed on something, I know to look there -- but sometimes I can't for the life of me figure out what she sees... It must be something too small for my old eyes.

[RICHARD]

Dear Edster - When my cat appears to be staring at something I am unable to see, what is she really watching? When I see her eyes fixed on something, I know to look there -- but sometimes I can't for the life of me figure out what she sees... It must be something too small for my old eyes.


The Edster says-
I do it to make you think there is something out there.

It's a test to see if you are paying attention to me.
I laugh at you when you look. ;)

Sincerely,

Ed D. Katz

[cassiesmom]

Dear, white, fluffy, floofy Ed ... Can you please tell me why it's necessary for a cat to always eat from the same side of her dish? Mlle. Cassie was meowing at me this morning at 3:15 AM for a refill of her dry food. Her favorite side of the dish was empty, but the opposite side still had kibble in it. What's in her kitty brain that "her" side had to be refilled instead of eating the kibble that was already in the dish?

[RICHARD]

Dear, white, fluffy, floofy Ed ... Can you please tell me why it's necessary for a cat to always eat from the same side of her dish? Mlle. Cassie was meowing at me this morning at 3:15 AM for a refill of her dry food. Her favorite side of the dish was empty, but the opposite side still had kibble in it. What's in her kitty brain that "her" side had to be refilled instead of eating the kibble that was already in the dish?


Ed says,

It has to do with thumbs, GPS and freshness!

First of all cats have internal GPS units that lead them to food. so we home in on exact coordinates! We also have no thumbs to turn the bowl around-our dexterity is kinda hampered by that fact. And we get to the freshness issue- I have looked for the expiration date on my bowl and cannot find one.
Why take a chance?

I hope this helps you understand the Feline Nation. :D

[slick]

Dear Mr. Edster:
I hope you can assist me with something that's been bothering me for some time now.

You see for years and years Max never bothered with the furniture and was happy to scratch on the cardboard thingy that lays flat on the floor. In the past 6 months or so, he's changed. He won't use it and prefers the furniture instead. I used tin foil which worked but now I've done him a favour and for close to $200 :eek: :eek: I purchased a wonderful cat tree that stands 5 ft tall. There is a little house for him on the bottom and I've been trying to get him to scratch on that instead. I even carry him over and use his two front paws to scratch so he will get the idea but he just doesn't get it. Is it because of his age?? He's 14.

So I have a few questions here:
1. Why won't he use the expensive cat tree to scratch on?
2. Why won't he sleep in his new little house....instead sleeping on the floor behind the cat tree?
3. Why won't he use the expensive cat tree at all even just for sitting on and looking outside?

Signed
Broke in BC :(

[RICHARD]

Dear Mr. Edster:
I hope you can assist me with something that's been bothering me for some time now.


So I have a few questions here:
1. Why won't he use the expensive cat tree to scratch on?
2. Why won't he sleep in his new little house....instead sleeping on the floor behind the cat tree?
3. Why won't he use the expensive cat tree at all even just for sitting on and looking outside?

Signed
Broke in BC :(

The Edster says,

Hmmmm, I think you should blame it on the ancient Egyptians-they first domesticated us- and remember.....It's kinda hard to shred a pyramid made of stone- so we have shredded mankind's furniture for all the nails we lost back then!

I think a little nip in the tree and some treats will make the Maxster wander over it.

You can also play on and around it with him.

To keep him from scratching.....a squirt bottle with a little lemon juice works-sometimes.


I really hesitate to give away my secrets but, I have ignored the stuff my dad buys.....he bought me a really nice cat bed, but I pre-furr the empty cardboard water boxes with the plastic still in place!

Good luck!

[slick]

Thank you Mr. Edster. I'm grateful for your response. I have tried throwing catnip in the house and all over the tree and even threw his own little catnip pillow in his house. He walks over to it, sniffs and walks away.

**sigh** I just wish I knew what he was thinking.

Maybe you could make a visit up here and speak to him for me????? ;)

[RICHARD]

Maybe you could make a visit up here and speak to him for me????? ;)

Ed says,

What the hell is the matter with you? ;)
You already have one problem.....why invite me over to wreck the goodwill that you have with the U.S.?

[cassiesmom]

We also have no thumbs to turn the bowl around-our dexterity is kinda hampered by that fact.

She did it to me again this morning. It's not necessary to move the bowl, cat - just move yourself over a little to the right and you'll find more kibble. It's not necessary to awaken mom at 3 AM when you still have half a bowl. Maybe she didn't *like* the food in that side of the bowl, even though it came from exactly the same box as "her" side. Fussbudget. She's got me wrapped around her fingers and she knows it.

[RICHARD]

She did it to me again this morning. It's not necessary to move the bowl, cat - just move yourself over a little to the right and you'll find more kibble. It's not necessary to awaken mom at 3 AM when you still have half a bowl. Maybe she didn't *like* the food in that side of the bowl, even though it came from exactly the same box as "her" side. Fussbudget. She's got me wrapped around her fingers and she knows it.

Ed says,

You finally have knuckled under to the "Power of the Pussy".

Cats have no sense of time. The watch would just fall off anyway!
Refill the bowl before bedtime or do what my dad does-He takes the old food and tosses it back into the box, then refills the bowl.....He thinks I'm not watching.

I eat it to make him feel useful! ;)

[dukedogsmom]

Dear Ed,
Why don't we get to see more pictures of you?

[RICHARD]

Dear Ed,
Why don't we get to see more pictures of you?
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid112/pc0b77a4602f258966143538945248756/f8fcd484.jpg

Between you and me....I am afraid of stalkers? ;)

[phesina]

You're so good looking, Ed, that I don't blame you. I bet you have lady kitties hanging around your home all the time, hoping for a glimpse!

[cassiesmom]

Dear Ed,

How can I teach my cat to sit in my lap more? She likes to be in the same room with me, but not right on me. At night she will sleep on the bed for a couple of hours and then go to "her" spot in the closet. I would love a lapful of kitty, but that's not her style.

[RICHARD]

Dear Ed,

How can I teach my cat to sit in my lap more? She likes to be in the same room with me, but not right on me. At night she will sleep on the bed for a couple of hours and then go to "her" spot in the closet. I would love a lapful of kitty, but that's not her style.


Ed says-

You can always rub catnip all over your thighs, hold a bowl of catfood in your lap or turn the thermostat down.
Other than that you must remember that cat's are their ownselves. :confused:

[DrKym]

You're so good looking, Ed, that I don't blame you. I bet you have lady kitties hanging around your home all the time, hoping for a glimpse!


Ed this is Woe...... You are older so you need to let me have at the ladies.................................quit being so damned adorable!

[RICHARD]

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid112/pbf727802bfd663caeb3506be70514a73/f90641f2.jpg

The Edster's-not-so-favorite Lap Photo.


DAD, You didn't post that, did you?

[DrKym]

Takes KB from Woe....................Ed I am in Love don't tell Woe.........omg your adorable!

[RICHARD]

Ed,
Why do cat's eyes glow?


ED:
So you can find me in the dark, after you leave the door ajar, you dope.
The Creator knew mankind would invent flashlights to help you find us, after hours.

---------------

Ed,
Why does cat food smell bad after a day in the dish?

ED:
You don't leave your food plates on the floor overnight, do you?

--------------

Ed,
Why do you sleep on the back of the recliner while I am in it?

ED:
I am not asleep, I'm waiting for the chance to flip my tail into your eyes when you are not prepared.

-----------------

Ed,
Why are cats more coordinated than Hoomans?

ED:
You try and walk on all fours, dummy!

----------------

Ed,
If Noah only loaded up a pair of cats on the ark, why are their so many different kinds of cats in the world now?

ED:
Noah's wife was a cat person. Imagine being stuck on a cruise ship with a woman that didn't get her way.......

[RICHARD]

Ed,
Why do you insist on climbing on top of the fridge, then cry when you can't get down?

ED:
Crying? Get Down? That's the 'dust the top of the fridge" alert. Stupid!:confused:

-----------------------------

Ed,
Why do you climb on top of me when I am sound asleep?

ED:
Dude, I want to make sure there isn't a frigging bear snoring in there with you.

-----------------------------

Ed,
Why do you spill water from your dish on the floor?

ED:
Wash the bottom of your feet once in a while!!!:rolleyes:

-----------------------------

Ed,
Why do you insist on running thru the house at night?

ED:
Like, why not?;)