RedHedd
11-18-2006, 03:44 PM
An Open Letter to the People of America from Thanksgiving
Dear People of America,
I know it’s lame to write this in a letter, but I’m just too upset to talk in person. I’ve been meaning to talk with you about this for years, but I've never been able to bring myself to do it. My therapist says if I’m ever going to move forward, I have to get this off my chest. So here goes:
I’m feeling really ignored by you. I feel that you skip right over me to Christmas, like I’m not even there. When I see all of the Christmas decorations in your stores and hear you play Christmas music when I haven’t even arrived yet, it hurts. It hurts badly. I have needs, too, you know. And I need you to be fully present with me.
I’m a realist. I know I’ll never be your #1 holiday. I know I can’t give you the music that Christmas can. I know I can’t offer you the frenzied mass consumerism and crushing credit card debt, or the awful, formulaic, merchandise-driven holiday movies. But, not every holiday can be Christmas. And, I think I deserve to be respected for the holiday that I am. It’s not like I’m Presidents’ Day, for chrissakes.
Okay, it’s true. I do devalue an entire, well-developed civilization that was in America for thousands of years before the Pilgrims ever landed, making the Pre-existing folks out to be a bunch of savages. And I’ll admit I also make going to the store to buy toilet paper the day before I arrive a living hell. But, what holiday is perfect? Halloween promotes tooth decay and begging, but you don’t see anyone holding that against it, do you?
I’ve given my all to you over the years. I’ve given and given and given. Every year since you were a kid, you’ve gotten a four-day holiday from me. I’ve given you a free pass to a full day of sitting on your butt, watching football. Doesn’t that count for something?? And let me just say two words: Pumpkin Pie.
I’m not going to bother you anymore after this. I have my pride. I’ve said my peace. And if you choose to continue to eclipse me with your participation in the ever-expanding shop-‘til-you-drop Christmas season, so be it. I’ll accept your decision and leave you alone forever. (I know you’ve been thinking about it, but I beg you to leave Halloween alone, it isn’t as resilient as I am. It would be crushed.)
I think ultimately you’d miss me, People of America, because we’re good together, you and I. So, from my heart, I hope you decide to give me – no - to give the beautiful thing we have together a chance.
You can leave a message on my cell with your decision.
With all my love and hopes for a renewed relationship,
Thanksgiving
Dear People of America,
I know it’s lame to write this in a letter, but I’m just too upset to talk in person. I’ve been meaning to talk with you about this for years, but I've never been able to bring myself to do it. My therapist says if I’m ever going to move forward, I have to get this off my chest. So here goes:
I’m feeling really ignored by you. I feel that you skip right over me to Christmas, like I’m not even there. When I see all of the Christmas decorations in your stores and hear you play Christmas music when I haven’t even arrived yet, it hurts. It hurts badly. I have needs, too, you know. And I need you to be fully present with me.
I’m a realist. I know I’ll never be your #1 holiday. I know I can’t give you the music that Christmas can. I know I can’t offer you the frenzied mass consumerism and crushing credit card debt, or the awful, formulaic, merchandise-driven holiday movies. But, not every holiday can be Christmas. And, I think I deserve to be respected for the holiday that I am. It’s not like I’m Presidents’ Day, for chrissakes.
Okay, it’s true. I do devalue an entire, well-developed civilization that was in America for thousands of years before the Pilgrims ever landed, making the Pre-existing folks out to be a bunch of savages. And I’ll admit I also make going to the store to buy toilet paper the day before I arrive a living hell. But, what holiday is perfect? Halloween promotes tooth decay and begging, but you don’t see anyone holding that against it, do you?
I’ve given my all to you over the years. I’ve given and given and given. Every year since you were a kid, you’ve gotten a four-day holiday from me. I’ve given you a free pass to a full day of sitting on your butt, watching football. Doesn’t that count for something?? And let me just say two words: Pumpkin Pie.
I’m not going to bother you anymore after this. I have my pride. I’ve said my peace. And if you choose to continue to eclipse me with your participation in the ever-expanding shop-‘til-you-drop Christmas season, so be it. I’ll accept your decision and leave you alone forever. (I know you’ve been thinking about it, but I beg you to leave Halloween alone, it isn’t as resilient as I am. It would be crushed.)
I think ultimately you’d miss me, People of America, because we’re good together, you and I. So, from my heart, I hope you decide to give me – no - to give the beautiful thing we have together a chance.
You can leave a message on my cell with your decision.
With all my love and hopes for a renewed relationship,
Thanksgiving