my charming daughter is engaged

[borzoimom]

and they are looking to set the date. I really like him.
The problem is, me and my ex can't be in the same room. I have a restraining order against him. How can we have a small wedding if we can't be in the same room. I know we both want to go... I told my daughter with my husband there, I would be fine. I just hope she doesn't elope. You legal people- how can we do this?

[borzoimom]

One more thing- I talked to my lawyer and he said to withdraw the restraining order. I am not happy with that one, as well as in our state if I do he can find me... Please- any ideas?

[kimlovescats]

Yikes, I have no idea! Like you, I wouldn't want to withdraw a restraining order ... you obviously need it or you wouldn't have it! :(

I pray that you can find a way to work this out. Congrats to your daughter though! ;)

[borzoimom]

Yikes, I have no idea! Like you, I wouldn't want to withdraw a restraining order ... you obviously need it or you wouldn't have it! :(

I pray that you can find a way to work this out. Congrats to your daughter though! ;)
I just wish I knew a way to keep her day special ... I cant drop the restraining order. I cant...

[borzoimom]

thank you for you pm's.. This really helped alot!

[Karen]

Can you not have a one-day exemption to the restraining order?

[ramanth]

I second Karen's question. Just a short drop. Plus, the restraining order only works if you contact the police or authorities (when or if he tries to break it), correct?

If you are okay being in the same proximity for one day, I would think he wouldn't get in trouble unless you took legal action and called the authorities.

That way you don't have to drop the restraining order and your daughter can have you both at her wedding.

Congrats to her btw! :)

[Alysser]

Karen, I was going to ask the same question. I'm happy to hear about your daughter. This is wonderful! Congratulations!! I hope you guys can work something out.

Maybe, you can drop the order for one day, and just don't go anywhere near the guy. Don't be seated at the same table, or by him in the church ect.

[lizbud]

I second Karen's question. Just a short drop. Plus, the restraining order only works if you contact the police or authorities (when or if he tries to break it), correct?

If you are okay being in the same proximity for one day, I would think he wouldn't get in trouble unless you took legal action and called the authorities.

That way you don't have to drop the restraining order and your daughter can have you both at her wedding.

Congrats to her btw! :)

I agree with Kimmy.Hope you can at least be civil to each other for the
ceremony. I'd do it for my daughter, if the situation ever came up.

[borzoimom]

Can you not have a one-day exemption to the restraining order?
According the court, not- no one day... man- how can I do this????? I mean short of having her wedding a Justice of the peace with police officers... jeeeeeeeeeez...

[Ginger's Mom]

I cannot believe that your attorney suggested you drop the restraining order. No you cannot drop a restraining order for one day, people would be running in and out of court all of the time if they did that. But, I would think that you can both be at the ceremony. Most restraining orders say something to the effect of he cannot go to your residence or place of employment, nor can he contact you or your relatives by mail or phone for the purpose of harrassing, threatening or intimidating you in any way. Having said that, as long as you both do not bother with each other in any way and no contact is made, there is no breaking of the restraining order. You would not need to contact the police to report that he is at the ceremony as long as you do not sit near, talk to each other, or about each other to others at the ceremony. As long as you can both respect each other's boundries for one day I think your daughter can have a very pleasant and memorable ceremony.

[borzoimom]

I cannot believe that your attorney suggested you drop the restraining order. No you cannot drop a restraining order for one day, people would be running in and out of court all of the time if they did that. But, I would think that you can both be at the ceremony. Most restraining orders say something to the effect of he cannot go to your residence or place of employment, nor can he contact you or your relatives by mail or phone for the purpose of harrassing, threatening or intimidating you in any way. Having said that, as long as you both do not bother with each other in any way and no contact is made, there is no breaking of the restraining order. You would not need to contact the police to report that he is at the ceremony as long as you do not sit near, talk to each other, or about each other to others at the ceremony. As long as you can both respect each other's boundries for one day I think your daughter can have a very pleasant and memorable ceremony.
You are right. I cant drop it for one day. I divorced out of abuse. I cant..

[Ginger's Mom]

But again, the good news is, you do not have to. It sounds like you are both willing to respect each others boundries for the day, and you won't have to sacrifice your restraining order to do it. Congrats, I hope it is a beautiful day for everyone.

[Almita]

Is this the one you said that looks like me?

That's good that she got engaged! Congratulations!

[borzoimom]

Is this the one you said that looks like me?

That's good that she got engaged! Congratulations!
Yes she looks alot like you... very much so... I will post pictures later.. but yes- alot like you... where did the time go...

[BC_MoM]

Yikes - I hope you work something out! :(

What a sticky situation.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Tricky but I hope you will be able to handle it for your daughter's sake and put your differences aside for her special day.

Have you bought your hat yet? ;)

[jackmilliesmom]

and they are looking to set the date. I really like him.
The problem is, me and my ex can't be in the same room. I have a restraining order against him. How can we have a small wedding if we can't be in the same room. I know we both want to go... I told my daughter with my husband there, I would be fine. I just hope she doesn't elope. You legal people- how can we do this?

Hey BZM congrats to J and her man

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Wishing you and your daughter a great day!!

[JenBKR]

First just wanted to say congrats to you and your daughter! I am not sure how it works in your state, but in PA a Protection From Abuse order (PFA) can ONLY be violated by the abuser. There is no need for you to drop it for one day (not that you would be able to do that anyway). You will be doing nothing wrong, and everything will be fine as long as he doesn't try anything. Even if he does, nothing can be done against you. I am sort of surprised your lawyer would suggest dropping the order, I would think that would not be an option. Keep the order going, go to the wedding, and have a good time! :)

[borzoimom]

Thank you. She promised me she would wait til I am well enough ( I just hope she does....) My parents assured me they would make sure the rest of my family remembers the purpose of the day. We went through this at her school graduation and college graduation also. But those were in public places, and we just stayed on opposite sides.
My brothers are pretty upset with him as you can imagine. I told my daughter that we are all going to be there for her and her fiance' and nothing else. My stepdaughter is my daughters age, so my husband is going to have a talk with her and his son about all this. I hate to admit this, but I am little nervous.

[cyber-sibes]

The problem is, me and my ex can't be in the same room. I have a restraining order against him. How can we have a small wedding if we can't be in the same room. If she wants you both there, then you both should be. Hard as it may be for you or your ex, whatever your daughter wants should be honored. (maybe she doesn't even want him to come) Sounds like you have a little time before deciding what to do, no need to stress out now- God knows how it'll all turn out! Congratulations to your daughter!

[borzoimom]

I hope so cyber- I hope so...

[borzoimom]

OMG THEY SET THE DATE!!!! DECEMBER 1ST... man alive- what am I going to wear.. I dont care what my ex does, but I am flipping out... I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!!! OMG MY BABY IS GETTING MARRIED OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

[junescrater716]

I sent you a PM don't worry. JUST DO NOT WEAR WHITE!!!!

[critter crazy]

Congratulations Michelle!!!


http://bestsmileys.com/wedding/5.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/wedding/8.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/wedding/9.gif

[borzoimom]

Congratulations Michelle!!!


http://bestsmileys.com/wedding/5.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/wedding/8.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/wedding/9.gif
OMG MY BABY IS GETTING MARRIED!!!!!

[Husky15]

I sent you a PM don't worry. JUST DO NOT WEAR WHITE!!!!

Hahaha...

[trayi52]

Just stay as far away from your Ex-husband as possible, Michelle. That way you can enjoy the wedding. Congratulations, on your daughter getting married. That can be very exciting, I know, I remember when my oldest daughter got married. It was a very beautiful day.

Willie :)

[wolflady]

First, congrats to your daughter on her engagement and quickly approaching wedding! What a festive way to begin the holidays. I'm sorry I have no advice on the ex situation, but I agree with JenBKR: Keep the order going, go to the wedding, and have a good time! :D

**hugs**

[borzoimom]

My lawyer called me back. As long as its a public place we got it. ( I will have an undercover security guard though...) .. We are there for her- alll the way around.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

OMG THEY SET THE DATE!!!! DECEMBER 1ST... man alive- what am I going to wear.. I dont care what my ex does, but I am flipping out... I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!!! OMG MY BABY IS GETTING MARRIED OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!


How did the big day go???

[borzoimom]

Just fine- they are going to elope... lol.. After the holidays and my last surgery on the 3rd, we are having a family party.