slleipnir
09-30-2006, 08:11 PM
I just need to vent a little, you might want to skip this one.
I know there are so many people who have ACTUAL problems, and I'm sort of "poluting" the board. I hope I don't take away from any of you by posting this.
I posted a while ago with problems my mom and I have been having. They don't seem to be getting better. I'm at the end of the rope here, and I'm so sad and frustrated. I struggled with depression a while back as well. I never thought it was possible to feel that badly. I was very proud to say I haven't felt that badly in a long time. However, tonight I sort of got a reminder of what it felt like.
My aunt is visiting today from away. It's been a while since I last saw her, so I was excited about going to my moms to visit her. I suggested we go to a movie, then go back to my moms and play cards or just hang out and have fun. My mom said it was a good idea, and invited me over for dinner. I called her after work (she said she would pick me up as I don't have a car) to see what was going on. She said she would pick me up after they ate....So I said to her that I thought she invited me to dinner? She said she forgot, but she would pick me up after they ate and leave some for me. I was hurt because the whole point of it for me was a family dinner. (something I rarely get to have...:() but I said whatever that's fine. So she calls me after they eat and says they're going to a store for a couple minutes. It's now 7:00. still no sign of her. I called her before 5:30 originally. I hadn't eatten since breakfast, and I would have eatten but she said she wouldn't be long. Wrong. So when she finally called I said nevermind, not to bother getting me. (I was just really hurt.) She said ok then, bye.
I know it's stupid I would get upset over this...but this isn't the first time she has done things like this. She ignores almost everything I say to her. It just builds up and really hurts. I just feel so incredibly down. I haven't felt this low in a long time. I'm generally happy, but it seems 90% of the time after I'm with her, I'm sad.
People tell me not to bother with her. She is my mother, I can't just say "the hell with her", I just can't. I want nothing more than for her to want to be with me and do things with me. I guess at my age I shouldn't care, but I do. She was someone I could tell everything to. She is someone I would go to for advice on boys or "girl" stuff like that. It just seems that she only sees herself.
I tried telling her tonight how I felt. I told her I feel she doesn't want to be around me and that I'm really hurting. She gets angry and says "Now why would you ever think that? I do lots of things for you!! I gave you those rolling stones tickets because I love you! I go to movies with you! I'm so tired from work that when I get a minute for myself I just want to sleep."
Geez. I'm not asking for her to run a marathon. All I want is to be able to sit down with her and TALK and have her LISTEN to me. That's it! I just want to BE WITH HER. I don't care what we do. She goes to the movies with me, but we don't get to talk. She will not do anything that involves sitting around unless she has TV/movies to watch, or if she can sleep. She says she doesn't like sitting around doing nothing, yet she is too tired to do stuff?? She said I have a problem and need to see a counsellor. I asked her why is it that only Ihave the problem? Why shouldn't she need to see one too? She said "I'm not the one with the problem"
I know I shouldn't care, but I don't know what to do anymore. My brother just ignores her, and they never do anything. Occationally she will brib him with a "free dinner", but he just doesn't care to see her. He said he got tired of how she treated him. I just can't walk away though. I've tried.
Just so you know, I do not live with my mom. I never have. I lived with my dad, brother and half sister. My dad took in my moms daughter from a different marriage and raised her like his own. Also, I never ask my mom for money or anything of the sort. She never had to pay child support either.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I have to admit I feel better getting it out of me. I just don't know what to do. It's so hard feeling that your mother doesn't really want anything to do with you...your mother who you admire and want to spend time with...your mother who used to be your best friend...
I know there are so many people who have ACTUAL problems, and I'm sort of "poluting" the board. I hope I don't take away from any of you by posting this.
I posted a while ago with problems my mom and I have been having. They don't seem to be getting better. I'm at the end of the rope here, and I'm so sad and frustrated. I struggled with depression a while back as well. I never thought it was possible to feel that badly. I was very proud to say I haven't felt that badly in a long time. However, tonight I sort of got a reminder of what it felt like.
My aunt is visiting today from away. It's been a while since I last saw her, so I was excited about going to my moms to visit her. I suggested we go to a movie, then go back to my moms and play cards or just hang out and have fun. My mom said it was a good idea, and invited me over for dinner. I called her after work (she said she would pick me up as I don't have a car) to see what was going on. She said she would pick me up after they ate....So I said to her that I thought she invited me to dinner? She said she forgot, but she would pick me up after they ate and leave some for me. I was hurt because the whole point of it for me was a family dinner. (something I rarely get to have...:() but I said whatever that's fine. So she calls me after they eat and says they're going to a store for a couple minutes. It's now 7:00. still no sign of her. I called her before 5:30 originally. I hadn't eatten since breakfast, and I would have eatten but she said she wouldn't be long. Wrong. So when she finally called I said nevermind, not to bother getting me. (I was just really hurt.) She said ok then, bye.
I know it's stupid I would get upset over this...but this isn't the first time she has done things like this. She ignores almost everything I say to her. It just builds up and really hurts. I just feel so incredibly down. I haven't felt this low in a long time. I'm generally happy, but it seems 90% of the time after I'm with her, I'm sad.
People tell me not to bother with her. She is my mother, I can't just say "the hell with her", I just can't. I want nothing more than for her to want to be with me and do things with me. I guess at my age I shouldn't care, but I do. She was someone I could tell everything to. She is someone I would go to for advice on boys or "girl" stuff like that. It just seems that she only sees herself.
I tried telling her tonight how I felt. I told her I feel she doesn't want to be around me and that I'm really hurting. She gets angry and says "Now why would you ever think that? I do lots of things for you!! I gave you those rolling stones tickets because I love you! I go to movies with you! I'm so tired from work that when I get a minute for myself I just want to sleep."
Geez. I'm not asking for her to run a marathon. All I want is to be able to sit down with her and TALK and have her LISTEN to me. That's it! I just want to BE WITH HER. I don't care what we do. She goes to the movies with me, but we don't get to talk. She will not do anything that involves sitting around unless she has TV/movies to watch, or if she can sleep. She says she doesn't like sitting around doing nothing, yet she is too tired to do stuff?? She said I have a problem and need to see a counsellor. I asked her why is it that only Ihave the problem? Why shouldn't she need to see one too? She said "I'm not the one with the problem"
I know I shouldn't care, but I don't know what to do anymore. My brother just ignores her, and they never do anything. Occationally she will brib him with a "free dinner", but he just doesn't care to see her. He said he got tired of how she treated him. I just can't walk away though. I've tried.
Just so you know, I do not live with my mom. I never have. I lived with my dad, brother and half sister. My dad took in my moms daughter from a different marriage and raised her like his own. Also, I never ask my mom for money or anything of the sort. She never had to pay child support either.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I have to admit I feel better getting it out of me. I just don't know what to do. It's so hard feeling that your mother doesn't really want anything to do with you...your mother who you admire and want to spend time with...your mother who used to be your best friend...