A very sad & heartbreaking day...

[Russian Blue]

I'm posting this thread since I have some people asking for updates. I'm going to take a break from the cat boards to refocus and work out some other problems that are currently happening in my life.

Thank you so much for all your advice over the last month. It's going to take me a while to get over this since I didn't take this adoption lightly at all. Thanks so much for being there for me.

*****

On Thursday I had to make one of the hardest decisions and it has torn a hole in my heart. :( I'm returning Phoenix back to the rescue since Nakita has become worse over the last month rather than better with Phoenix's presence.

On Thursday night, Nakita actually attacked me. Nakita has *never* scratched/growled/hissed/bit me in her life and this really scared me. She was hiding out more upstairs and started to eat less - she was basically withdrawing from interaction with anyone. Anytime she would hear Phoenix her body would tense up and on Thursday night Nakita showed me I couldn't keep Phoenix with us anymore.

I have tried everything over the last month - I have used Rescue Remedy, Feliway, treats, play sessions etc. I introduced Phoenix slowly - even building a mesh screen so they could smell/see each other first. I have even moved Nakita's food/litter upstairs so she could have her space and Phoenix would spend most of her day with me downstairs. I would spend my nights upstairs with Nakita for 'our' time.I guess this wasn't meant to be.

I added Phoenix on the advice of a vet who thought Nakita might need more mental stimulation during her day which might in turn help her hyperesthesia. I think Nakita is meant to be an only cat and I refuse to start drugging her to help her 'over' this cat introduction - she has too many other issues to deal with so I'm not going to add to it. I know Nakita best and this would not be right for her.

Phoenix was a dream cat. I've wanted a calico since I was a kid and she is the most adorable, affectionate, playful kitten a person could want. She *loves* attention and would do well in a house with other cats. During this last month, Phoenix just wanted to be with Nakita and would often lie down near her even though Nakita hissed and growled at the presence.

Rob is returning her right now to the foster home she originally came from. I'm a mess and couldn't go with him. It has broken my heart but I need to do what is best for Nakita and get her healthy once and for all. Phoenix, I'm sorry this didn't work out - but know you always have my love. :(

*******

[moosmom]

Do NOT beat yourself up. You tried and it didn't work. Same way I tried with Coco and it didn't work. You did what was best for you and Nakita. At least she'll be in a foster home and not in a cage. I hope the bite wasn't too bad. Please watch it. Take care of the wound with Hydrogen Peroxide. If you see a red splotch, get to the ER immediately, as it's become infected.

I had a cat that was a pariah cat. She was with me for a while and my cats just didn't let up. She eventually found a home of her own with no other cats.

If you want to talk, either PM me or call me (if you need my number let me know).

(((((HUGS))))))

Donna

[Catty1]

You are doing what is best for both kitties.

Because of your love and care and attention, Phoenix is a well-loved kitty who will be even more ready for the home that will spoil her rotten!

Nakita wants to be an only child...and I hope her health improves soon.

HUGS to you!

[Sonia59]

How sad and how hard it should be for you. But you did your best, and sometimes new introductions don't work.

I hope Nakita will be back to a normal behavior and she will eat again and feel better.

(((Hugs)))

[catmandu]

I am sorry that Phoenix did not work out.
I pray that Nakita will go back to normal.
I pray Phoenix will find a place where she will be welcome.
I wish I could take into the Found Cat Hotel, she would go over like gangbusters here.

[AbbyMom]

I'm sorry it didn't work out. But you already know what's best for everyone. Nakita depends on you. Phoenix will get a new home where she gets the full attention and love from humans and other cats that she needs.

It hurts right now, but you'll always know you did the right thing.

[catfamily]

Your first cat always comes first.I know it was hard for you but it happens.I'm so sorry :(

[Randi]

I'm sorry it didn't work out, at least you tried. You've done what's best for both Nakita and Phoenix. :)

I hope Nakita will get better and Phoenix finds a new loving home.

((((Hugs))))

[Karen]

Poor you! You tried your best for Nakita's sake, and we know you only wanted to help her. We completely understand both your decision to return Phoenix, and your heartbreak over the whole situation. You will be in our prayers, and give your pewter beauty our love, okay?

[jazzcat]

I'm so sorry. Please don't be down on yourself. You have to put Nakita first and know that Phoenix will find a good home.

I've been there with a similar situation. Ripley was my first and only cat for 10 years and when I finally decided he was old and mellow enough to handle another cat I decided to try an adult. She was awesome. Her name was Mystic but because my husband didn't hear me correctly he thought I said Sticks so we called her that. We had her for over three weeks but it didn't work out because she became very dominant over Ripley and my dog Disney and started peeing in their beds and eventually our bed. After having her checked for infection or crystals and she was clean we tried to work with her more but she smacked my dog and cut her nose open. My dog was only sleeping in her bed. It broke my heart but I had to return her to the rescue. I still feel an empty sad feeling when I think about her but I know she was adopted a few weeks later as an only cat and was very happy.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Oh no..... I am so sorry for you.... :( . But, you did the right thing! Nakita will be back to normal soon, and little Phoenix will have no problem to find another forever loving home!http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabriels/images/smilies%20973%20Huge_hug.gif

[RedHedd]

That's a hard decision and one I know you didn't make lightly. Please be gentle with yourself. Gentle hugs and headbumpies to you, yours and Nakita.

[kimlovescats]

I am so very sorry! You did every thing possible to make this work, so please don't blame yourself! I know you love Phoenix, and I'm so sorry you are having to say goodbye to her! She will be fine though! She may even find another home with another kitty who will enjoy her company ... in most cases it does work! ;) Your Nakita has just always been an only cat, and a very pampered Princess, who we ALL love!!! I hope and pray that she will calm down now and get back to being your special girl! When she does, I hope you will spoil us all here with some beautiful Nakita pictures!

Love and Hugs,
Kim ;)

[jenluckenbach]

I am so sorry that Phoenix did not work for Nakita. I just hope Nakita will return to the cat you love. So take a break to grieve your loss, but still remember to keep us updated on our little Nakita.

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry to hear that Phoenix didn't work out.:( Please don't blame yourself because you did everything right. Some cats are just meant to be only cats and Nakita as you have now learned is one of them. I'm sure that little Phoenix will find a new loving forever home very quickly and be a happy little girl.:) I hope that Nakita's health will improve and that she'll become happier again. Please continue to keep us updated about her. (((HUGS)))

[catmandu]

Phoenix looks like a very self reliant Cat who will make herself at home in 99% of the Furr Ever Homes she goes to.
I know in my heart of hearts that she sure would fit in the Found Cat Hotel, it wouldnt take her long to fit into the piles here.
I just wish the Animal Control threat was not hanging over my head.
But Phoenix might be worth taking a chance.

[Sevaede]

Phoenix looks like a very self reliant Cat who will make herself at home in 99% of the Furr Ever Homes she goes to.
I know in my heart of hearts that she sure would fit in the Found Cat Hotel, it wouldnt take her long to fit into the piles here.
I just wish the Animal Control threat was not hanging over my head.
But Phoenix might be worth taking a chance.

GO FOR IT, GARY! :D

We are rooting for you all the way!

I will help however I can!

[Russian Blue]

I know in my heart of hearts that she sure would fit in the Found Cat Hotel, it wouldnt take her long to fit into the piles here.
I just wish the Animal Control threat was not hanging over my head.
But Phoenix might be worth taking a chance.

Gary, you're one of a kind and have a huge heart. Thank you so much for thinking of Phoenix. As many have said she will easily find another home - we actually have a few leads and who could resist that face.

You already have your hands full - especially with recent events with Animal Control keeping an eye out. Cuddle your kids and make sure you keep everyone safe. Adding another cat will not help you in the long run and could actually make things worse for the rest of your crew.

Reality plays a strong hand here as I just recently found out with trying to introduce Phoenix. It breaks your heart in many pieces but you have to do what's right for the whole household - not just for one. I am very confident Phoenix will find the right forever home.....I just wanted MY home to be that one. I know that I made the right decision but that doesn't make it any easier on my heart. :(

Thanks so much for the words and sympathy you have shown. I never knew I could be so lost after just a month - but it's amazing how fast one's life can change. It's going to take some time for everything to feel right again. If you could still keep thinking and sending some healing vibes Nakita's way I'd really appreciate it.

((( Hugs to everyone for your support & friendship )))

[Killearn Kitties]

I'm awfully sorry that things didn't work out with lovely Phoenix. :( I am sure that it will not take her long to find the right home, and I really hope that Nakita settles again.

[momcat]

It is sad that things didn't work out with Phoenix and I can only imagine how difficult this decision was for you. Every cat has their own distinct personality, likes, and dislikes just like people do. Please remember that you did everything possible to introduce Nikita to Phoenix in a positive way. It's sad that your newcomer had such a negative effect on Nikita. [[[HUGS]]] to you and prayers that Nikita will settle down and again be the sweet kitty you know and love.....