Kids who don't have responsibilities...

[Kfamr]

And complain about how "tough" their parents are.


Sorry, if you don't have a job and don't pay your own way - you don't have it so "bad."

A majority of my peers dropped out of school, didn't get jobs, and continue to live under their parent's houses with NO responsibilities. Yet, a majority of them also have brand new cars, brand new clothes, top of the line electronics, everything their little hearts desire... their parents buy it! But their parents are SO horrible for making them come home at a certain time, SO horrible if they do not buy into the latest trend, SO horrible if they do not buy them whatever they want.

Now, I no longer go to school but I got a job the second I made this decision. I live with my parents, pay rent, and am expected to pay for whatever I want for myself and my dogs. Even before I had a steady salary I was expected to work for what I wanted.


WHY don't kids see how good they have it?
WHY don't parents make their children work for themselves?



I'm sorry this is a bit of a rant... I'm just so sick of my peers being so LAZY.

[caseysmom]

I don't know Kay I am going through this with my niece I just inherited when my brother passed away. I don't mind helping her during this rough time but there is not even a simple thank you its just expected.

My kids do that at 18 and the locks will be changed, I can guarantee you that.

[buttercup132]

I know what you mean my friends before they never had jobs and I did and I would always be jelouse that they got what they want and there parents would give them like $100 + to go shopping and I would have to pay with my own money. I dont mind having to do it unless my sister gets to go on a shopping spree or something then I dont understand why I cant get like 1 new sweater.
I dont get what having a job and paying for everything has to do with being home at a certain time though.
Sometimes parents do that because maybe thats how they were brought up or they had it really rough and they want to treat them "better"

[Husky_mom]

I know what you mean..........I cant´even start what i´m thinking.........urrgghh........they just don´t appreciate what they DO have.....

at least when I was younger and HAD to pay for my car (I got a car when i wa in university) and my "friends" got new models for free as a bday present (while in secondary/highschool).........now when i see them with the very same car and I got an improvement I realize my efforts paid off......

lucky those who works for their things as they will be rewarded BIG TIME......I really enjoy the satisfaction of getting thing with MY money provided by MY work, MY time and MY effort....... sure,we all hate bills but thats just a thing that comes with the package.........

when people don´t work for things and everything they desire is given to them just like that, when they go on their own they´ll learn the hard way there is no such thing as that, you gotta work for them......

[Argranade]

Im out of school right now...

My parents pay for my pets and clothes and food.... :o

Good thing pigeons are very cheap and Im not a big shoper on cloths.

I plan on getting home schooled and getting a job at the pet store.

My mom does not want me to move out :eek: lol but of course I will.. :p

[Blue_Frog]

Its just sad kind of -- no one is teaching these kids (the ones that are handed everything they want) the value of earning something for yourself. Everything is expendable, easy to throw away, and theres no respect or value placed on stuff.

From the time I was old enough to work, i had a job - retail, fast food, you name it. I earned money for my first Nintendo, my first car, etc. I valued the things I had because *I* earned them. My sister has often been given things without earning them, and doesn't seem to have much of a concept of money (dont get me wrong, i love my sister to pieces) - she doesn't place a value on anything, and is constantly throwing out or goodwilling clothes, or cutting holes in things for fashion, and stuff like that then having to mooch to get new things. Never quite understood her in that respect, except that she never had a job until she was in her 20s, so didn't learn to value the things she had by earning them.

Theres a lot of people out there, who are handed anything they want - clothes, a new car, a position at daddy's business. And they place no value on anything. And, once the 'rents aren't around anymore to help out, well ... are they going to have the life skills to help themselves? Maybe, or maybe not.

I remember 2 girls at my highschool talking (i was walking behind them), and hearing one complaining that daddy bought her the wrong coloured porsche for her birthday. I remember thinking "buhhh... what?". Pan forward a few years, and I ran into her working at the video store. Daddy had kicked her out, and she was driving an old beater - she'd drivin the porsche into the ground by not taking care of it. I just felt kind of sorry for her.

[MomToThree]

A girl I went to school with and now work with. She is a great friend of mine but her parents give her everything. This girl is almost 25 years old. I was teasing her one day telling her that when she moves out she won't know how to do anything. So I started asking her if she knew how to do laundry, cook, so on a so forth. To all of my questions she told me no. Her parents do it all for her. I just thought it was sad. She only worked to have some play money when her parents didn't give her enough money.


When I was 16 I started working. I worked 4 jobs one summer. I would go to my friends house every night and work for her parents. I would come home in the morning and go to work as a dish washer, I would leave that job and go to my friends store and work, then I would go to my other friends work and help out. By the end of that summer I made a good amount of money that summer. Most of it I gave to my parents while my mom was dealing with cancer. The rest I saved. I felt good at the end of the summer when I went shopping for my own school clothes and got a perm, got my own dress for a dance.

[mugsy]

As a teacher, I can say that it is perfectly obvious that many parents today make their children take no responsibility for their actions because THEY don't. The old saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" fits the vast majority of my kids. The kids who are on free lunch and breakfast and pay nothing for books etc, come walking into school with brand new $250 shoes and designer clothes...what's that about?

[popcornbird]

I think the saddest thing is how negligent society is about family life these days, and individual responsibilities. Everyone is concerned about the other person doing the same thing that they do, but they fail to realize that every individual, or every family is in a different situation, and based on the situation, different family members have to take different responsibilities. Everyone doesn't have to do that same thing, or have the same duties. Financial responsibility is only one type of responsibility, but there are so many other responsibilities to take on in life.

We go through different phases in life, and through each phase, we have different responsibilities. A baby wouldn't have any responsibilities as an infant/toddler...besides bringing joy to his/her parents...:D As a child gets older, its the responsibility of the parents to raise him/her properly, giving him/her certain responsibilities as he/she gets older. For example, parents should encourage young children to 'pick up their toys' after playing, or to 'wash their hands' after eating. Older children should be taught to help with chores such as unloading the dishwasher, or helping with the lawn mowing. Kids learn responsibilities slowly, and from the very beginning, parents should teach them their responsibilities, so that they can grow up to be responsible adults. Teens should have the responsibility of doing their own laundry, cleaning their room every morning, helping in the kitchen, helping with younger siblings if they have any, caring for pets, shopping, etc. A father could never have the responsibility of carrying a child in the womb, or bearing a child, or nursing a child. That is a responsibility on mothers, only, and something that a man could never do. In my eyes, when a family works hand and hand, and each member takes care of his/her responsibilities, everyone has a very smoothe, happy, and loving family life.

I'm not one who thinks that at 18, kids should be kicked out of the house and left on their own. It all depends on the family's situation, and the kid's situation. If the parents are not well-to-do, then by all means should the young adults in the family be a financial help. If the parents can't afford for the kids' education, then the kids should definitely work and provide for themselves. If, however, the parents are very rich, and they're throwing their kid out on his/her own when the kid is earning only $7 or $8 an hour, that, in my eyes, just makes the parents look miserly and cruel. I live in a region where apartment rents are very, very expensive. My husband and I pay $1470 a month for our one bedroom apartment. Sure you can get cheaper housing in cheaper locations, but those locations usually have a high crime rating, and the neighborhoods are not very pleasant to live in. How fair is it for parents to be rich, living in a nice big house, while their kid is forced to suffer, living paycheck-paycheck, and only earning enough rent for shelter, with no savings for anything else. Though the kid may be an adult, he/she is STILL 'their' kid. Its not easy to live off of a restaurant/supermarket job, especially in my area...and hardly any 18 year old can earn enough to have a decent living around here. You can get a decent job after completing your college education, that pays enough to live a decent life, but a person would have to be at least 22 or 23, normally, to afford that around here. I would live with my parents over living with a roommate anyday. Why is it wrong for a parent to buy things for their kids if they are wealthy, and their kid doesn't earn enough yet? Isn't it our responsibility to help and provide for our parents when they are old and not earning enough anymore? Shouldn't kids be responsible for their parents in their old age? Its all about family life and not being selfish. Kids should be taught to be responsible, but if they don't earn enough to live a decent life, and the parents do, then the parents should help them.

I also feel that everyone has different responsibilites. If the man of the house is working and the woman isn't, that doesn't mean the woman is irresponsible. The man is taking care of his responsibilities, and the woman is taking care of her's. If a woman is caring for her house, cooking, cleaning, caring for her children, caring for her pets, keeping things clean, doing the laundry...that in itself is a fulltime job. Would the woman be considered irresponsible just because she isn't working outside the house? It should not be that way. My husband provides for me financially, but I provide for him in other ways. He does things I don't normally do, but I do things he doesn't normally do. Its fair and square.

My point is...just because someone doesn't work outside the house doesn't mean they don't take care of any responsibilities. In my opinion, all MEN should work outside of the house, should have enough of an education to support themselves and their families well, with no exceptions. Boys SHOULD be responsible by the age of 18-20. For girls, on the other hand, it depends. If the family needs money, or if they don't have enough to provide for her, she SHOULD work, and SHOULD help them. If the family is wealthy, girls can also have a lot of responsibilities at home to take care of, besides working outside.

I never paid rent to my parents while I lived with them. They paid for most of my stuff. Why? Well...I never needed to. They have their own house, with no mortgage or loans on it. Besides taxes, they don't need to pay anything for their own house anymore, so why would I have to pay them. I'm THEIR DAUGHTER. :eek: They have bought lots of things for me, but that is because God gave them the means to do so. I have had responsibilities in the house ever since I was a kid, and always took care of them. My parents never had to care for the garden. I always did that. They never had to do my laundry, or iron my clothes. I did that. There were times when they didn't have to cook, because I would help them in it. Before my marriage, my mom was telling me that she wonders if she still knows how to clean the house. :D I took care of that throughout my teen years. I had responsibilities, and just because I didn't do what my dad did *earning*, that doesn't mean he did what I did. :p We worked hand in hand as a family, with my dad and brother earning, and my mother and I taking care of other things. My parents raised us well and gave us the responsibilities and independance we would need as adults. I'm married now, and doing fine managing things on my own. My mom worked before we were born, but after having children, she devoted her life to raising us, teaching us, caring for us, and my dad provided for us all. I loved my life, and want to lead a similar life now, after marriage. My husband earns, but I take care of all of my responsibilities inside the house. I take care of the house, the pets, the laundry, the cleaning, the cooking...everything. On weekends, we do things together, and he helps me in the house, and I help him with things like washing the car, etc., but on weekdays, I do my thing and he does his thing. When I become a mother someday, God willingly, my husband will be providing, financially, for me and the kids. I won't be going out to work unless it is a necessity for me. That does not mean I'm not responsible, as an adult. I take care of what I need to take care of. I want to be a full-time mother when I have children, and stay at home to raise and nurture them my babies, without leaving them with a babysitter, or anyone else. If I work, I won't be able to be a full-time mom when I have kids, and devote my life to them and my husband. If I worked now, I would still have things to do at home, and wouldn't have the time and energy to spend with my husband when he comes home from work. When there is family stability, family love, and family unity, no one has to argue about these things. If someone's parents are wealthy and want to buy them a car, that's fine, and their choice. Everyone is going to get the provisions that are meant for them...nothing more, nothing less, and it doesn't matter who provides for them.

My mom gave both my husband and I a wonderful piece of advice on my wedding day, as we were leaving the reception hall together. She told us, "Always remember to be mindful of YOUR responsibilites, and focus on what YOU need to do. Don't whine about your rights not being fulfilled, but focus on your responsibilites, as individuals, and your responsibilites towards each other. This is the key to a happy married life."

I have taken my mom's advice seriously, and so far, so good. I take care of my responsibilites, and my husband takes care of his. I don't demand my rights from him, and he doesn't demand his rights from me. We just get them. If everyone takes care of their responsibilities, everyone's rights are automatically fulfilled, with no one complaining about the other person not doing what they need to do.

I do agree with you on being peeved with young adults who do not appreciate their parents who do things for them, or complain on every little thing...but as long as they're taking care of their household responsibilities, even if they're living under their parents' roof, it is fine. If they are not doing ANYTHING, and just sitting around, living off their parents' hard work without doing any hard work themselves, then yes, there is definitely a problem.

I think the main problem in today's society is the selfishness that everyone has, and the lack of family unity. Sadly, so many youngsters in today's world are selfish, and tend to forget how much their parents have done for them. So many parents are selfish, and forget how much they once loved their kids. So many husband and wives are selfish, and forget how much they should mean to each other. What makes a society are the families in it, and when the families are selfish, irresponsible, and unstable, the society is in for a downfall.

Just my 2...okay...10 :D cents.

[Kfamr]

I do agree with you on being peeved with young adults who do not appreciate their parents who do things for them, or complain on every little thing...but as long as they're taking care of their household responsibilities, even if they're living under their parents' roof, it is fine. If they are not doing ANYTHING, and just sitting around, living off their parents' hard work without doing any hard work themselves, then yes, there is definitely a problem.



This is exactly it.

They have NO responsibilities, as stated in the subject of the thread.

In my opinion, teenagers should have to work for what they want in life. No 18 year old (my peers) should be without a job of some sort. In my opinion, if you're of age to get a job, not going to school, and don't have any responsibilities in the home - you should be financially supportive of your household no matter how "rich" one's family is.

[caseysmom]

I totally agree Kay. I tell my kids if they are in college, fine they don't have to work, but still have to help with the house. If they don't go to college they need to work, they can't do neither.

I feel that my girls MUST have careers. You can marry but you never know what will happen in your lifetime. What if your husband becomes ill? What if your marriage becomes unbearable and you are financially depenedent on him?

I think the child rearing is a joint responsibility and the work schedules can be adjusted for both parents to work, I think it is a good example to our daughters.

[Alysser]

I agree with you, even though I am a kid, I am so tired of seeing kids in school who do nothing and have coach purses, uggs, make-up, abercrombie, and whatever other crap they want. This girl who sits near me and langauge arts was complaining today about how her mom would not let go to the movies because she refused to clean her room! :rolleyes: It takes less then TWO MINUTES!! :eek: Just clean it.

I have uggs, coach purses, and stuff but I don't laze around all day. I maybe 13 but I do have ALOT of responsiblities. My two most important tasks are Pets and school. Especially pets! My parents made it VERY clear to me that if I want to have pets I have to take care of them. I wouldn't ever be allowed to get another one if I didn't work for my pets. I walk Sassy almost everyday, feed her, let her go inside the laundry room to pee/poop, clean up her poop on walks, watch her, play with her, and train her constantly. With Star I clean her cage, feed her, give her more water, ect. Same with the fish. I don't do laundry but I do whatever else my mom tells me. I have school to. I need to study for tests/quizzes, do ALL my homework, and most importantly keep my grades up. I have a 99% in math right now!! :D I also do minor chores like make my bed, cover Stars cage at night, lock Sassy in her "house", ect. I do all my chores, then worry about fun. If I needed to clean my room to go to the movies I would. How hard is that? :confused:

I see where you are coming from Kay and I understand as I have to deal with it everyday. :rolleyes: These girls who have no responsiblities make fun of others who have them.

[lizbud]

Wow, PCB. You don't post often, but when you do...... it's always a well
thought out answer. I agree with you by the way. :) Except I think your post
was a least a dollar's worth of opinion. :D

[Glacier]

Those kids are in for a rude awakening someday. My brother's kids are like this. My brother is very wealthy, has some serious issues that impact his parenting and to make up for that, he spoils his kids rotten. They range for 18-14 years old. He should just deal with his own crap and get it out of the way, but right now he hasn't recognized the issue enough to deal with it. That's a whole other story though! His kids are spoiled brats. Everything has been handed to them on a platter and someone else picks up the platter when they are done! My niece got a Hummer-2 for graduation! Someday they are going to be forced to live in the real world and it's going to be ugly. They have no skills--no basic housekeeping, no budgeting, no idea how much it takes to earn enough to pay rent, groceries ect. When you move out, Kay, you'll be equipped to deal with whatever life throws at you. Your parents did you a huge favor by making sure you have the ability and skills to cope on your own.

Money has never been an issue for anyone in my family, even when I was growing up. We never went without a thing(except the pony my Dad always refused to buy me :p ). My parents provided the basics and beyond. If I wanted something extra though, I had to earn it. They would buy me clothes to go back to school, but if I wanted designer jeans, I paid the difference. I worked for my Dad, I coached skiing, I waited tables. My Mom made sure I knew how to cook, not real well back then, but enough that I wasn't going to have to live on Kraft Dinner. I could do my own laundry, clean my apartment, budget ect.

To this day, I could call my Dad and tell him I need financial assistance. Without fail, he'd help me out. I'd try everything else possible first before I called my Dad. I would have to be about to loose my house and my dogs before I made that call, but he would be there for me. I believe that's his and my mother's greatest gift to me...they gave me both the skills the make my own way and my own mistakes and the security of knowing someone was always there if I screwed up. To be sappy about it, they gave me both roots and wings.

[cali]

oh I know it always bothers me that my best friend complains about how awful her mom is, how she is constantly broke etc.. meanwhile she works(or worked, she back in school now) 4 good paying jobs, her parnets still buy everything for her, all she has to pay for is her cell phone and gas for her truck, or if she goes shopping without her parents.

ok, I come from an extremly low income family(on welfare) so guess what? that means I have to pay to live in my house, I have to buy grocerys for the family, I have to pay the costs of all my pets, plus the vet bills of my moms pets, I have to pay the gas of both my parents cars, plus my own cell and cable bills, an of coarse I have to pay for all my own clothes and othe such things, I work 1 minimum wage job, yet my being totally broke is a rare occurence. so do I have freedom like not telling my mom where I am, or staying out till 2am just because without telling anyone and without getting in trouble? yes, but I also have loads more responsibility then her.

[kuhio98]

I saw a psychiatrist once on Oprah (I think). She said that people are often surprised to hear that she has very few patients who complained of having an awful childhood because they were poor and didn't have "things". The majority of her patients were people who had lots of stuff, things and toys. But no parental guidance. No one to tell them no. No one to teach them how to be accountable for their own actions. No one who loved them enough to stand by and watch them fail at something. So that they could learn how to pick themselves up and try again.

[Giselle]

Now this is interesting because I am one of these kids without responsibilities. Yep, I'm saying it loud and clear. However, I believe the majority of you are disappointed in "children" who lack maturity, not necessarily the material possessions. Allow me to explain...

I don't have many responsibilities besides taking care of the animals and schoolwork. Besides, if I cannot/do not fulfill my duties on any given day, my mother willingly picks up the slack. However, I consider myself a rather precocious kid and I understand that these luxuries will eventually fade. As the child of two immigrants, I know what labor is. I know what poverty is. I know that these luxuries will fade the minute I step out the door to attend college. So should I be envied/disliked because I don't handwash the dishes or do the laundry or sweep the floor? Should I be considered spoiled because my parents do not ask me to do daily chores?

I don't think so. My parents have a very uncommon method of raising their children: Until I attend college, school should be the ONLY concern in my life. Thus, maintaining high grades and performing community service are my only responsibilities. As long as I bring home good grades and keep my mind on college, my parents pay for everything and execute all the household chores. However, I don't believe this makes me spoiled. On the contrary, I have as much/more responsibilites than many other children with mundane chores like cleaning their room. Though my tasks are more abstract than physical chores, I don't believe I am spoiled and I certainly don't complain about having a "tough" life. I am mature enough to realize all the labor that one must undergo to earn a meager paycheck. You simply cannot judge a child because he or she happens to have the fortune of wealth and doting parents :p It is not material possesssions that you people are peeved at. It is the child's maturity, or lack thereof, that creates so much annoyance. And if we are talking about maturity, you cannot blame children without responsibilities for the source of so much naïvete. Maturity is not something that can be driven into a person simply through the acquirement of a job.

I don't believe it is necessary to brand all kids irresponsible if they are not given physical/monetary jobs. I must agree with PCB with the belief that everyone has unique responsibilities. It is not fair to label all children without chores as irresponsible complainers.

I have a job. My job is to land myself at an EXCELLENT college and secure myself a strong future. My job is not to attend school but to understand it and EXCELL at it. In some respects, I must admit that my job is every bit as hard as any adult's.

Just a "spoiled" kid's opinion ;)

[Kfamr]

Please show me where anyone in this thread labeled all children without chores as irresponsible complainers. I think both you and PCB read far too much into what I said and missed my point.

The kids I am talking about do not go to school, do not have chores, do not have monetary jobs. They smooch off of their parents and then complain if they don't get what they want, when they want it, or how they want it.

As I said, if they are going to school and excelling just find - that wouldn't be a problem. But, as long as they are out of school I believe they should have a job of some sort - wether it be around the house or in a workplace.
The way a majority of them live isn't building anything for their future.

[caseysmom]

I think it is more the attitude of the kids that people find annoying and you definetely have a good attitude giselle.

I met you and never thought of you as spoiled. I feel the same my daughter takes honors classes, sports and does community service. That is her main concentration, I am fine with that. My other daughter lets her grades slack, is a slob and has an attitude...I don't like that.

[sammy101]

I totally agree with you Kay.
I'm of working age but i can't get a job, simply because i'm a canadian citizen living in the U.S. If i could get a job,i would love to work. Right now my job at home is the yard. I mow it weekly and my parents give my my allowance just to do it. I help clean the house, do dishes, take care of the dogs and Jerry, and i help out with everything that i can.

[Bengalz]

Kay,

This is a very relevant topic of discussion and I think you make your point - very well. I respect and admire you, who at your age, have matured and have solid values (a tribute to your parents and the way they brought you up :) ).

I grew up in a modest home and both my parents worked hard to make it a good home for my brother and I. We had what we needed and earned what we wanted. The difference is to understand and respect that no one owes you anything.

I have held a job since I was old enough to work - 16. I worked my way through university and bought my own car, financed my own trip to Europe at the age of 18, etc. My husband and I reside in an affluent neighbourhood and have a beautiful home today. We have worked together for many years to acquire this. My point: we both grew up with the right values and sense of responsibility that was endowed upon us by our parents. That is the greatest gift one can give a child - a sense of self worth and capability. I think Glacier has described this extremely well in her post - thank you Tamara.

Your frustration with your peers is understandable but shouldn't cloud your own judgement in any way. If there is anything that you can do to influence them into helping themselves by setting an example, all credit to you. Just always remember you are not responsible for another's shortcomings and don't let their problems get you down. You've got the formula girl and you are doing so well. You will always be successful because you know the difference.

Keep on keeping on and go hug your Mom and Dad for helping you to be the wonderful person you are

:) Betty

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I personally don't know anyone who doesn't have to do anything and then complains...maybe it's a Florida thing. :p In Iowa, where I spent most of my life, hard work is definately valued and I've never been rich enough to KNOW anyone like that.

I think most people are saying there should be a happy medium, and I agree. My father was extremely strict and my brother and I grew up pretty unhappy living with him. I think parents need expectations for their children, but not perfection. Until my parents divorced, I grew up the OPPOSITE way and I have to say it was just as bad.

[Giselle]

Oh I know nobody said those words explicitly but many posters coupled "complain" and "kids without resonsibilities" together so I just took it from there :p I do get your point, though, Kay, and my second cousin is actually one of these moochers. Personally, I think it all lies with the parent. Teach them morals and thou shalt not mooch (haha). And thanks, caseysmom :)

Children need guidance, even when they're 18 years old and legal. They need to learn that we don't live in a give-nothing-receive-everything society. They need guidance to show them that in order to receive, you must give. And oftentimes, you'll need to give a whole lot before you receive something back. I see a lot of young toddlers who don't understand this and they grow into young adults who still can't comprehend this simple "rule".

NILIF, anybody?

:D

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

I'd like to react too. I am a parent of two kids, 17 and 21.
In my opinion, it is the parents duty to learn their kids about responsabilities in life! My husband ears good money, so in fact it would be easy to pamper our kids and let them have anything they want!
BUT, Not in our household!! Jo wanted a car? He had to save for it and pay for his insurance! Indra's MP3 was broken? She bought one with her saved pocketmoney! We also don't give them much pocketmoney; when I hear how much some kids get...... :eek: !!
My son is now 21 and is working already. He pays for everything concerning his car, and most of his clothes! It is only the food he doesn't have to pay for.
Our daughter is 17, and still studying. She has a weekendjob now, waitressing on sundays; she uses some of her money for clothes or cd's, but most of it go to her savings account.
I don't know if we are good parents, but at least our kids know they get nothing just like that, and also that they cannot take anything for granted :)

[CathyBogart]

*Chuckles* I guess I'm pretty "spoiled" in some senses....I don't live at home, yet my parents pay me enough money each month to live in my apartment, pay my bills, and have a little left over. They also pay some of my bills for me (car insurance, cell phone) and pay for school. I'd never complain about anything I have, I am so lucky right now. This is how it will be until I graduate (in 2 years)

I know what you mean though....one girl I know whined when her parents bought her a brand-new SUV, because it was the wrong color! My own sister started griping when she had to pay for her own gas, nevemind that my parents spent $4k on a car for her to drive. It makes me so ANRGY. She's so ungrateful sometimes...

[Muddy4paws]

I work full time tuesday to saturday 9 til 5 and sometimes over.

I have worked full time in 2 jobs since school, The first job I left because I basically scammed out by the boss :mad: apart from that I work for things I buy.

Im 18 live with my parents and they still do need to buy me some things occasionally, Im training to be a groomer and the wages really are no good at all so I dont pay rent or put towards my dogs medical care or food because I really cant afford to. I buy my own clothes and other things that I need but even them I need to save up weeks before to do so. I know its not expected of me but Im always here to babysit whenever all I ask is for a bit or warning as of when and even then they offer to pay me money?!

I wouldnt take money from them for doing something like that, eventhough my boyfriend thinks Im dumb not to :rolleyes: .

[Blue_Frog]

CathyBogart Today 05:08 AM Said:
I know what you mean though....one girl I know whined when her parents bought her a brand-new SUV, because it was the wrong color!


Blue_Frog Yesterday 04:47 PM Said:
I remember 2 girls at my highschool talking (i was walking behind them), and hearing one complaining that daddy bought her the wrong coloured porsche for her birthday.


*lol* -- Seriously, what is it with people complaining about being given a car of the wrong colour! If someone handed me the keys to a brand-spanking new vechicle, the LAST thing i'd ever do is complain! I loved my old clunker Sunfire that I bought myself, up until the time it got crushed between transport trucks on the 401 one morning on the way to work. I miss that car!

[sumbirdy]

I'm 17, don't have a job, and my parents buy what i need (not what i want)
I'm not able to get a job because my mom has seizures and we only have one car which they need in case of emergencies with her. Dad could drive me except we live about 50 miles from anything and he doesn't have the money to take me back and forth everyday. But besides that i think that if you have a car and enough time to go shopping everyday with your parents money and buy everything you want then you have enough time to go out and get a job and earn it. It always feels better when you earn something you get instead of just getting it handed over to you. I guess i kind of earn what i get anyway because i take care of the animals (which is a big job with so many) and my nephew(who is 2 months old). My parents aren't able to do that on a regular bases so they need me for that. I think all the teens should appreciate what they have instead of complaining about everything they don't.

[Miss Z]

It is becoming a worry that kids are becoming lazier, more arrogant, less educated and more overweight, and it is a serious issue. At 14 and not yet old enough to be on minimum wage, of course my parents still provide for me. Heck, they spend over £7000 a year on my education, never mind everything else I must sap from them. I am truly grateful for what I get from my parents.

Yes, they do buy me expensive gifts too, such as designer wear and accessories, I'll admit, and whilst I do like having these things I don't EXPECT my parents to buy that kind of stuff for me when I snap my fingers. At my school, there are some VERY rich kids who do practically nothing at home nor make a great deal of effort in lessons, but have the latest phones and iPods and everything else. All I can say is they'll have a nasty shock when they learn that money is not everlasting.

[Catlady711]

I think it all boils down to: Entitlement and Accountability.

It doesn't matter if someone's parents buy a young child a bicycle for say $50 or an older teen a car for say $12,000. Either way if the child is not taught to appreciate the gift, realize it's a gift and not ENTITLEMENT, and does not accept that they are ACCOUNTABLE for their actions of responsibility for and care of the item, whether it's a car or a bike, it's still a lack of the parents doing their jobs. Let alone the fact there is a huge difference between WANT and NEED that is frequently not recognized today. You may NEED warm clothing for winter, but having the latest fashion is a WANT.

Seems with what I see day in and day out around here, that more and more often parents are not 'raising' their children, but:

1) buying themselves some down time (ie. here go play with this and leave me alone)

2) trying way too hard to be their childs' friend (ie. I got this for you to prove how much I love you)

3) thinking they can protect their children from every bad thing/feeling in the world (ie. here's the latest play station 14 and 100 games, I don't ever want you to feel like you're not part of the 'in' crowd')


I think too many children, and their parents too, have a sense of ENTITLEMENT about everything. Think about it, that is why there's so many lawsuits over dumb stuff? People not only don't think they need to be responsible for anything, but also that somehow the world OWES them something.

It's an age old problem that just gets worse every year. And it's certainly not helping when our politicians and governments allow laws and regulations that help people not be accountable and allow them to sue for things that at one time would have been thrown out before it ever hit the courtrooms....

caution coffee may be hot
do not use hairdryer while sleeping or bathing
if someone breaks into your house and gets injured, you are liable
caution drinking alcoholic beverages can impair your ability to drive
if starbucks won't take your coupon you can sue for millions
you are not liable for your own actions
etc, etc.

As long as society, and our courts, are allowing things like this to happen, it just lends to their sense of ENTITLEMENT and those adults in turn train their children that 'this is how life works'. And with the media making such a big fuss with publicity over these things, people think that not only are they not responsible for their own actions, but if they do something stupid they can get millions and be on the front page of every newspaper in the country!

I agree that parents need to 'raise' their children, but at the same time, if adults are allowed to not be accountable then why would they train their children to do so?

[Argranade]

Remember its usualy not the childs fault if there getting what ever they want..

I belive its the parents as they have the right to stop buying them things, and to tell them to have some responsibility in the house or get a job they have a mouth its time they start using it I hate it when the kid gets blamed for things there just getting spoiled for ,also most kids take after there parents. ;)

So if you see a kid who complains about the wrong car colour blame the parents for buying it and not giving them enough discipline or jobs (I would never complain over a new cars colour lol).

[Karen]

I do belive that, while you are still in school, that is a huge responsibility, your primary responsibility. Kay's original post was about kids she knows who have dropped out of school.

Personal responisbility is a big issue, and some people never do "get it," no matter how old they get.

[Suki Wingy]

All I can say is that where I live, you're a sad person if you do not go to college, you're incredibly unlucky if you don't get a car when you turn 16, and jobs are for buying your $15 lunches. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :mad: I'm 16. I do my laundry, I take care of my own pets, I work, I pay for my hobby (riding) except weekly lessons, I'll pay gas when I get my license, and I'll most likley pay insurance if I buy my own car. I get mostly Bs and a few Cs at a nationally recognised school. I feel proud to "support" myself as best I can at my age. I'm thinking about going into Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. (Saliukis!)

[moosmom]

Blame the parents. I started working at the age of 15 as a nurse's aide at a major hospital. My parents told me that as long as I stayed in school, I didn't have to pay rent, but I was responsible for everything else (luxuries like movies when they were ALOT cheaper than they are now, clothes, entertainment, etc.). Once I graduated, I paid rent, even if it WAS only $150/month. It taught me how to survive and for that I am truly greatful. I admire my parents for bringing me up right. I have passed on their values to my daughter and am very proud of the way she turned out. I just wish today's parents would do the same instead of spoiling them rotten, giving them whatever they want just to shut them up and get their kids outta their faces.

I watch "Nanny 911" and it makes my blood boil the way kids are today. No respect for anything. My parents also taught me to respect my elders. I would never THINK of raising my voice to someone older than myself. I always called elders Mr. or Ms. and said please and thank you. Somehow, with today's kids (not call so don't go bashing me for labeling anyone) there is no such thing as respect. It's very sad.

[Cataholic]

I have to laugh at what I call, "reverse bragging". It isn't bragging about what you have, but, what you don't have, and how hard it is for you.

I grew up in a household where education was drummed into our head. Not IF we go to college, but WHERE we go to college. All 8 of us 'kids' are college educated. Doesn't mean we are **great** or anything, but, the value and import in our household was on education. So, if we were in school, and participating in ONE extra curricular event, no work for us. I didn't have much of any job until I graduated from college at 21 or 22 (how old was I? :D ).

I had most of my education paid for, had spending money, worked in the summers for 'fun' money, etc. I also didn't own a vehicle until I graduated. I paid for it (needed my mom to co-sign), and my expenses, except 'rent' and food, from there on.

I turned out 'responsible'. To me, it is about personal accounting. I shudder to think of being kicked out at 18, locks changed, or working two jobs, as a youthful adult. I couldn't imagine kicking Jonah out at 18, 21, or, even 25! I am his mother. It is my 'job' to raise him, to educate him, to teach him about life. I just don't find the chapter in my mommy handbook that says, "if he doesn't have it rough, he won't succeed". Thankfully, my parents didn't find it in their handbook, either.

If you are under 21, your 'job' is to educate yourself, come heck or highwater, or, spend a large part of your adulthood lamenting the fact you didn't. (not that I am saying if you are older than 21 you shouldn't educate yourself! It is just harder to go back. I should know, I was 29 when I went to lawschool- living 'rent free' with my mom, who paid for my car insurance, food, clothes, etc.)

Maybe that is what my problem is! I am a freeloader! LOL. If you can't live off of your family, who CAN you live off of? :D

I figure it all comes full circle....and, I won't be changing any locks to deny my mother free access to my home. :p

[moosmom]

I figure it all comes full circle....and, I won't be changing any locks to deny my mother free access to my home

Want to adopt me Jo?? :p My daughter has already told me I couldn't stay with her. Oh well. Like you said, things do come around full circle.

[GreyhoundGirl]

*lol* -- Seriously, what is it with people complaining about being given a car of the wrong colour! If someone handed me the keys to a brand-spanking new vechicle, the LAST thing i'd ever do is complain! I loved my old clunker Sunfire that I bought myself, up until the time it got crushed between transport trucks on the 401 one morning on the way to work. I miss that car!

:eek: Yikes, I take it you were OK? The 401 scares me, in the last 2 or 3 months many people I know have been hurt there, and some perished :( . Four people, I think, that I know personally, in 3 months ! :eek:

Sorry to get off-topic. :o

I think I am in a similar boat to giselle. All my parents make me do is keep a 90+ average, keep my room clean, and take carn of Jen. School is of highest priority. :p

Maybe I am spoiled. I do get a lot of things from my parents and I don't have a job.

I, too, find it irking when teens are so... spoiled... Ungrateful. Really, should kick em out on the street sometimes, show em how " tough " life can really be.

[Cataholic]

Want to adopt me Jo?? :p My daughter has already told me I couldn't stay with her. Oh well. Like you said, things do come around full circle.


Sure, we need more cats at my house! :D Seriously, full circle doesn't necessarily mean full circle with the same people.....maybe in your situation, it means with someone else that had given/taken before. Full circle with a detour! :D

[Blue_Frog]

GreyhoundGirl wrote:
:eek: Yikes, I take it you were OK? The 401 scares me, in the last 2 or 3 months many people I know have been hurt there, and some perished :( . Four people, I think, that I know personally, in 3 months ! :eek:

I'm sorry to hear about your friends being hurt/killed on the 401 too -- its a terrible highway in places :(

Yeah, I was mostly Ok -- a few weeks off work, chrio and misc. but thankfully no major injuries! I was actually impressed how well my car stood up (good quality north american steel i guess ;) ) ... had quite a lot of problems getting back on the highway afterwards (i drive from the miss/oakville boarder to markham every day) so i ended up getting an Escape instead. Theres just too many agressive/overtired truckdrivers out there I think, and the fact that the one that hit me first 'didn't see me there' made me more worried.

[popcornbird]

Maybe that is what my problem is! I am a freeloader! LOL. If you can't live off of your family, who CAN you live off of? :D



I completely agree with that statement. Completely! And...I honestly feel that parents who kick their kids out at 18, just because they turned 18, are nothing but cruel and heartless towards their children. That doesn't teach responsibility. At least not in my view. That teaches miserliness, and selfishness. "I earn for myself. What I earn is mine. My hard work pays for me." THAT is the kind of attitude I hate. When kids come to their parents' home after adulthood, they're not welcome like they were when they were young. When parents need to stay with their kids, "You can't live with me." Throwing your kids out at 18 teaches them to be selfish...nothing else. Responsibility is taught with love and affection, and being there for each other.

I am married now, but still not 'kicked out' of my parents' home. What I mean by that is...I still have my set of keys to the house, and can go there whenever I want...even if my parents are not at home. My house is their house and their house is my house. When I am in need of my parents, I *know* I can count on them. When they are in need of me, they know they can count on me. For me, family is family, and the people who are supposed to be there for you when you are in need, at all times, no matter what your age. That doesn't only go for parents and kids. It goes for siblings too.

Like Johanna said, if you can't live off of your family, who can you live off of? If you can't count on your family, who can you count on?

[caseysmom]

My kids can stay and live in my house as long as they want. My youngest wants to stay at home all during her 8 years of college, she is welcome with open arms. My comment about the locks comes from a whole lot of attitude coming from my teen and causing a lot of hardship on the household. I have tried everything all the love, intervening and just about everything you can imagine. Once she turns 18 I won't take the abuse anymore. You don't know what I am going through so don't judge me.

[signorelli21]

hrm, its definately the parents that determine how their children will turn out.

i got a job at 16 bought a car, dropped out of school, moved out at 17, joined the army at 19, put myself through college a few years later, and now am 25 with a very bright career as a computer technician.

does that make me better than someone who was given everything? i think not. what i failed to mention is that my parents offered no guidance and did not care what i did, i learned the very hard way by breaking all the rules and getting into alot of trouble, living on the street and doing other unspeakable things to survive.

anyway, it doesn't matter because everyone has a tough life in some way or anouther, and its not up to us to judge how other people raise their children.
if jimmy wants to drop out of school and live with mommy until he is 30 , thats fine, he will have a very sheltered life and i pity him, but i do not envy him.

there will always be people more fortunate than you in life, this is something you either accept or spend all of your time ranting about online, i neither hate rich people nor feel sorry for poor people.
(steps down from soapbox)

well, i'm off work now, time to go home and play with my puppy :)
have a good day!!!

[husky_lover]

I have to agree with most everyone here. I'm 22 and I dropped out of high school my senior year but I've had a job since I turned 16. My mother never "gave" me anything for "free". She even kicked me out when I dropped out of school. I had to work for anything that I wanted or needed and I've thanked her for that now. I wouldn't be as responsible as I am now if she would have given me everything I wanted. I now have five kids and I've been married for 3 years in December. I love my mother for what she made me do. Some of these kids now have no Idea how easy they have it.

[Logan]

Kay, your point is well taken and I see it a lot, having a teenage daughter of my own. As long as she stays in school, keeps her grades up, plays her sports and helps out at home, I have no problem. She is a 15 year old girl who has not disappointed us at this time, and she is striving to get into college at a school with high academic standards. That is the most important thing for her to concentrate on at this time. BUT, I do hold her responsible for some of her outside expenses, even though she doesn't hold a job at this point. I just don't want to see that hand held out, all the time, for this or that, especially eating out and movies, when a meal is being provided at home. That is the kind of thing that she has to make choices about and use her own money to pay. She makes some money by babysitting, and yes, I pay her a measly allowance, every month. But, I buy her clothes, pay for sports expenses, buy her gasoline (as long as she is being responsible in where she is driving), and obviously pay all her other living expenses. I am proud of the choices my daughter has made and I have tried to raise her the way my parents raised me, to be responsible, with my education as the most important thing.

I worked in the summers from the time I was 14 years old. I rode my bicycle to work most days, when I wasn't a legal driver, and later either got a ride from one of my parents, or drove one of their cars, when it suited them. My parents paid for me to go to college, and I worked in the summers to raise my spending money. I did that all the way through college, and although my dad bought my first car, the summer after my Junior year in college, I also had to sign a note to pay him back for it, as soon as I graduated.

My daughter is more spoiled than I was, but she has earned that right, and I think that every child needs to learn responsibility and not just feel entitled to free room and board, without something in return.

[dogzr#1]

I can't really speak out of experience because I am only 13, but I can speak on behalf of my brothers. I can say that I might be called 'spoiled' because I don't do much around the house, yet get lots of stuff. I'm not totally spoiled; like I don't whine about how I have to get the newest clothes or whatever. I'm happy if I get my clothes at Wal-Mart! :p Sorry to get slightly off topic. But, that is what irks me. When girls have like a billion outfits and they don't pay for any of them. I had to use my own money for school clothes, given I didn't earn that money, but I still had a limit.

Ok, now for my brothers' stories. When my brother turned 18, he didn't get a job right away or have to pay for anything in the house. He was still going to college so he could get a good job. Yes, my parents paid for all his stuff but they said that it was at a good price. He was getting an education for a better job. As soon as he finished getting his...is it bachelors? Well he went to college for four years. Anyway, when he finished that, he went out and got a job. He is now a teacher, but still lives with us. He got himself a new truck and will move out as soon as he gets a couple more paychecks.

My other brother whom is 20, also still lives with us. He doesn't pay for many things, if any but he is also going to college. So I guess my parents' 'policy' is that you don't have to earn your own stuff until you finish college. And if they do finish college but can't find a job, they won't kick them out of the house. That's cruel IMO. They might start stealing or selling drugs to actually get enough money to rent an apartment or a place to live. I don't think my brothers are spoiled, but I think they do have enough responsibilities.

Woah, didn't want this thing to be so long!

[mina'smomma]

I know the feeling Kfmar. I had one brother who was the same way and even resorted stealing from me and my brother. I went to school and started working when I was 14 so I could afford to pay for my own things. He never worked and quit school. He felt that my mother owed him the money our father sometime gave her for our child support. He would get mad when my mom and I would go shopping and I'd come home with bags of clothes, shoes, movies and anything I wanted, but yet couldn't comprehend that I paid for my stuff out of the money I earned.

[slick]

When I was 14, I was given an allowance of $5 a week and with that, I had to buy all my own clothes. I learned how to budget and save up for what I wanted. It was the best lesson my parents could have taught me.

My two nieces were very spoiled growing up. Christmas was always a nightmare for me because a) there was nothing I could get them that they didn't already have and b) anything they wanted I could not afford. Fortunately, they grew up without that "spoiled attitude" and now, at the ages of 24 and 26, they each pay their own way.

...and when I was a kid, I had to walk 10 miles to school each way, all uphill with no shoes and....oops, sorry, that was my Dad speaking... :D :D

[RICHARD]

There was a great story (and I do not mean great in a good way....) about
some 17 year old kid in the area where Edwina'a Sect. lives..

These kids were having a bite to eat at a restaurant when they decide to race their cars afterwards.

One kid flips his car, kills himself and seriously effs up the two girl passengers.
The other driver will go to jail for murder.


One kid was driving a BMW and I forgot what the other car was..

------------------

The stupid parents will sue the carmaker, the city of Irvine and everyone else they can put on the suit.

Why?

Because they wanted to give their kids "what I didn't have when I was
growing up...."

Instead they gave their kids eternal youth, they will never get past the age of their death.

[Catty1]

Slick!

You forgot "in hip-deep snow" :D