New Roommate Question

[zoey]

I'm getting a new roommate. She's a good person. I've known her for about a year and 1/2. I've got a one bedroom flat w/ an extra futon stored in the living room.
I think it can work. She's offered to pay her share, but can't afford her own place for awhile. She's coming w/ her bags packed, in the morning. In all likelihood, it will be for 6 months. So I'm laying down some ground rules. Thus, the reason for this post.
A little about me:
I'm a very private person. I don't like people pawing through my things. I'm pretty neat, and don't mind cleaning up and cooking, if i feel respected. The flat has the bathroom and bedroom in a separate area, but the bedroom is has it's own door. So I can hibernate when I need to. I keep a good stock of fresh veggies and meats, mostly b/c of my dog, who demands them. lol. I've had roommates before, but not here, and had very good luck, except with my last roommate's girlfriend who robbed me blind several times due to greed and drug addiction i guess. Who knows what her motives are. (He and I remain friends.) She's a thief and doesn't have my current address. :mad:. anyways, somehow i'm still on speaking terms w/ her. Barely.
If you have any ideas for good rules regarding rent, food, sleeping, company, keys, cleaning, etc., please share! Please!!!

[Catty1]

Discuss each other's work schedules and get the bathroom/shower schedule figured out FIRST! lol

Check out storage in the bathroom for makeup, hair utensils, etc.

That's all, off the top of my head. Maybe tell her that sometimes you head for 'alone time' and it's nothing personal - you do that even living alone!

Good luck!

[Dorothy39]

How gracious of you to accept a room-mate, after living alone!!

Remember, there are two rooms that can often create a degree of tension.


The kitchen ~~~and the Bathroom. :rolleyes:

You might go over a set of "rules" with her , just to establish some intital groundwork on your part. i.e., You can use the kitchen, but clean up is your responsibility, please buy your own lunch supplies, Please , do not leave important/personal items laying about, this is where the vaccuum is stored, etc. :D

I hope all goes well for the two of you!!!!!!!!

[Rachel]

As much as you want her to respect you, please also look at the situation from her point of view? She is getting a futon in the living room while you have a private bedroom. Where will she be able to store all her stuff? Will she have any responsibility for your animal? Is a fifty/fifty split of expenses the best way to share? Just look at the situation as if it were you moving in with her to help set up the ground rules for the both of you. Get her input into how to make this a workable situation.

[zoey]

Well, Monika called at 1:00 in the morning. Her bus had made it to the station in Houston on time. She said she was getting a ride with a friend and i haven't heard back.
So she probably just stayed with that person in Galveston. It's just as well. This way, I'll have time to type up some rules for the house. Since her situation was kind of a crisis I haven't had time to think about it too much.
I just feel I should be there for her. And will do what I can.
Hey, thanks for the ideas, guys!

[Blue_Frog]

I'm kind of in the same situation, but from the other side -- I just moved in to my friends place at the end of August for what we're calling a 'short squatting session' (i have plans to be out around january). I ended up with a really short closing on the house I was living at (about 3 weeks), and didn't want to commit to a year rental agreement while i was looking to buy a place. *done history*

We set out ground rules before I came to live there -

- I pay some rent, but not 1/2 - I have a bedroom space there to keep my things at, and part of her basement for storage but since i'm not always there we figured it was fair for me to pay something, but nowhere near a full half. Maybe something like this would be fair - but set out your thoughts for rental payment up front -- this will save you headaches and confusion. Now is the best time to talk about it :) I know she has only a futon to stay on, but can you set up a corner or something for her to keep her clothes etc. in - maybe change the TV stand over for a dresser etc.?

- I contribute to the upkeep since im there -- if i make dishes, i wash them. If i watch TV, i make sure I tidy up the area once i'm done. I help out by mowing the lawn and giving her a hand with some things. lay out the rules you live by for cleanliness and expect to be followed -- im sharing her space as a guest, and I follow her rules.

- Figure out a schedule for things like the shower - 2 people trying to get into a bathroom at the same time in the morning just causes stress. Shes getting up a little earlier, and i've made arrangements with my work to have a flexible 15-min window to be a little later so we're both not trying to be in the bathroom at 6:30.

- We have a 'pants-on' rule until 10pm -- this means that pants must be worn until 10pm incase of visitors. This sounds kind of funny, but bringing by other friends while the other person is in their knickers just makes for amusing yet awkward scenes.

- We only share meals by pre-arrangement, otherwise i'm on my own. I have a shelf in the fridge thats mine to keep my foodstuffs on - if either of us wants to share we ask first.

Umm... thats about all i can think of for now -- all i can say is, coming from the other side of the equation --- shes lucky to have a friend like you to take her in last minute, i know i really appreciate my friend for taking me in

... although I'm sure by January, if we haven't killed each other first we'll both be happy for me to move ;)


.

[zoey]

Blue_Frog, hey thanks for your perspective! I'm glad you've got your squatting situation well at hand! ;) I've been there.
I lost my job 4 years ago and had a hell of a time finding a new one. I did. But by then i was already a month behind in my rent. :eek: luckily i was on month to month lease at that point and was able to put in notice, stay w/ a freind for long enough to pay my landlord, buy a used car and save for a new place!
It's funny b/c that friend didn't think they were doing anything special, but he totally saved my butt!!
This is just what friends do for each other.
I'm thinking of just asking for a couple hundred deposit and a couple hundred a month for food and utilities. Prolly get it in writing after a few days.
Since most of my furniture was lost in a storage lot flood, i have extra room in the living room. She doesn't work during the day, so she'll have access to the bed then. But i get it at night! Hey, I slept on a futon for 3 years. It can be done! :p I'm giving her the hall closet to use for her stuff, though the bulk of her belongings are stored away in a lot. I've got some little storage containers with drawers for the bathroom and a shelf in both the cabinet and fridge for her food. In all likelihood, i'll just share my food. But i'll keep my sharpie pen handy just in case! Most of what i buy are fresh veggies and meats i'll prepare and share, (not exactly spur of-the-moment binge foods that could disappear.) I cook every night. I talked to Monika today and she's already talking of getting a new apt. for herself, so i know she's on the right track. She'll come stay this weekend, I think! We're gonna pig out! :D
and meet some neighbors and stuff. :)