Very aggrivated right now!!!(9/3/09) UPDATED!

[coco-bean]

So my boyfriend has a very different teaching style when it comes to our dogs! Im always the one who feeds them, takes them outside, continue to try and help them learn their commands, give them treats and lots of love and praise and also bathe them! I always want to take them to the park but he never wants too! i go outside and throw the ball to her(coco, because cainan hasnt learned to fetch quite yet)!!!
BUT...my boyfriend on the other hand is very stern, i dont ask him to feed them because he doesnt give them enough, doesnt take them outside(and when he does, he throws a huge baby fit) doesnt give them treats, nor praise for that matter! He NEVER wants to participate in their lives...let alone mine(which is def. another story just in that) and just doesnt seem to like them most days! but for some reason coco still does what he ask's more then when i ask!(thats not the point tho) so anyways, im just aggitated because we just got home from the park and it was a total disaster, everytime coco doesnt go to him he freaks out and starts yelling at her to "come" and then when she finally does, she never gets anything, no pat on the head, no good coco, no nothing! I always yell at him for not being nice to them and not ever saying good girl coco, or good boy cainan! and he freaks out so much it just drives me crazy because i tell him all the time( i do mean all the time, so much that he's mad at me on a regular basis for it) and he still doesnt change!!! GRRRR....ticks me off!!!
Im the type of person that would rather have dogs for the rest of my life than have a child of my own(that may be selfish to some people, and some maybe not) but i'd rather give dogs who wouldnt normally of had a good life, the best life they could possibly have! but thats just me!
AHHH!!! I just needed to vent a little because no one else is as loving of their dogs in this house other than me, and i dont have anyone to talk to about it so i turn to my PT friends, who are always there to help me!! thank you all!!!

[chocolatepuppy]

Not agreeing on how to train a dog can cause many problems in a relationship, trust me, I know. ;) My Lacey is the type of dog that needed total consistency as a puppy and hubby didn't go along much with it. While she has turned out to be a great dog, there are times when hubby is around she will disobey me because he is there. :rolleyes: Our Mandy, who we recently lost, was an easy going dog, so not many problems there and I'm praying Layla will be also.
I too am the primary caretaker of all four of our furkids but hubby helps any time he is needed. Both Lacey and Mandy had many surguries/illnesses so of course we both had to pitch in. And now with a puppy of course we both need to take care of her.
If your boyfriend is not interested in your two dogs you are possibly headed for trouble with your dogs and your relationship. I wish you good luck with this situation.

[coco-bean]

I hope things work out for the best! Ill forever hold my dogs closer to my heart than my boyfriend! It will never change! If it came down to them or him leaving...it'd be him! I love them too much to push them off to the side and say "oh you'll find another home" that may be true, but this is there home! always will be! :)

[elizabethann]

It feels good to vent sometimes.

I have a question though. You said your boyfriend never wants to go to the park. Do you ever take Coco to the park without your boyfriend? You may meet some great people. People who love their dog(s) as much as you. Perhaps you'll meet a new friend. And maybe a new boyfriend? Sorry, but I had to sneak that in.

Anyhoo, good luck with your situation. I'm glad Coco has you.

[coco-bean]

haha, i kinda find myself sneaking that same question in everytime he says something rude or is mean....OR...just whenever haha! ;)!!! i have taken her to the park a few times by myself and then by time i get home i find a very ticked off boyfriend because i didnt ask him to go! but oh well, thats his problem not mine! :)

[labmomma]

My first impression is, and I'm only expressing an opinion, is that you'd be better off without the boyfriend anyway. Your life is, obviously, very full because of the love you have for your dogs. You don't need to have the negativity that he brings to your life. He doesn't share the feelings you have for your dogs and that will always be a wedge between you. Furthermore, there isn't anything selfish in chosing not to be a parent if that's how you feel. Just some objective observations.
Labmomma

[JenBKR]

My first impression is, and I'm only expressing an opinion, is that you'd be better off without the boyfriend anyway. Your life is, obviously, very full because of the love you have for your dogs. You don't need to have the negativity that he brings to your life. He doesn't share the feelings you have for your dogs and that will always be a wedge between you. Furthermore, there isn't anything selfish in chosing not to be a parent if that's how you feel. Just some objective observations.
Labmomma

That was my first impression too.....it's almost impossible to change someone, so you'd have to accept him the way he is. Is that what you want for yourself? I know how difficult it can be with two different training philosophies, my husband and I had different opinions on training Roscoe, but when he saw that my way was working much better (and having our trainer tell him that also) changed his mind and his behavior. Maybe if you keep doing what you are doing with your dogs and your boyfriend sees that it works, he'll change his mind too. Good luck! :)

[zoomer]

That sounds very aggrivating :mad: Maybe you should sit down and have a nice conversation and dicuss it?

[coco-bean]

that all sounds like awesome input to me! Im so happy when i read the nice things you all say about people! Just makes me very :D !!! thanks alot for everyones input and ill take it ALL into consideratioN!!!!

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm very sorry to hear that your boyfriend doesn't take interest in Coco and Cainan like you do. I feel your pain. I care so much about my pet's needs i.e. making them feel important, playing with them, praising them regularly, and generally letting them know how much I love them. I know all of us here at PT are like that. I would find it very difficult to have a partner that didn't have the same or similar ideals that I have. I'm also a huge stickler on not giving our pets mixed signals. Everything should be constantly loving and always consistent. I sincerely hope your BF gets better with your dogs(and you). You sound like too nice of a person to go through what you're experiencing. Best wishes on seeing improvements soon:(

[coco-bean]

:confused: Tonite my bf(his name is andy), well we've been fighting for quite some time and i havent been feeling the best so my mood is a little touchy anyways, but anyways, i wanted to go to the park tonite so i asked andy if he wanted to go with? he said No! so i said fine we're going anyways! After i had gotten my shoes on and grabbed my keys andy decided he should probably go too! So we headed (in my car) to the park about 7 or 8 blocks away(it's a school playground with a HUGE open field to play fetch in) and we started walking around, of course andy is on one of his kicks and usually it means, "dont talk to tonya(thats me) and just keep walking, not throwing the ball, not running with them, not nothing. so anyways after we've been walking for a good 15 minutes we made our way back up this hill to the actual play ground with swings and play sets! coco likes to go down the slide's so i walked up into the play set with her and she would go down the slide, then she noticed andy was swinging just a few feet from her, so she went over to him and started walking under him as he was swinging(the swing was no more then 8 or 9 inches off the ground by the way) So i sat on the opposite swing(not swinging, just sitting there watching) and coco kept running under him, and i kept saying andy you better be careful, she's ducking from you but your feet are in the way! Of course he doesnt say one word to me because thats just how he is! and not 20 seconds later coco moves to get out of his way on the upward swing part, and before she could get to the other side of the swing closer to me, andy comes barreling downward in the swing crashing right into her! Andy starts laughing and laughing, as coco is crying and cry and limping up off the sand onto the grass! I got off the swing and ran over to here (every step she took she was crying more and more) i grabbed her and layed her on my lap rubbing her leg that she was limping on, telling her it's okay coco! andy finally manages to stop laughing and get off the swing, as he starts walking over to us I most definately said my peace to him, (Andy i swear if you broke her leg, im gonna kick your ***)!!!! he says nothing, go figure! after coco stopped crying i said we're going home, NOW! i walked full stern towards the car as coco hobbled in front of me(she seemed to think she was okay, so she attempted to play with cainan the entire way to the car) we got in my car and came home!!!
Andy just doesnt care, GGRRR...it makes me so mad!!!! That was pretty much the last straw with me! I havent talked to him the whole time we've been home, other than he asked me to go to a movie with him and i said no! i dont know what to do! I mean if i break up with him, he has no where to go! and Im affraid that he's going to take coco and cainan from me, because he paid for them(only to buy them, nothing more)! I am just confused right now!
Coco is still limping but not as bad, if she is still limping tomorrow, im going to have to call my vet(since it's sunday) and ask him what he thinks i should do!
Thanks everyone for listening to me vent some more!! :(

[Lady's Human]

People who abuse animals frequently go on to abuse humans. End it now.

[luvofallhorses]

I agree with Lady's Human, please end the relationship NOW! if he hurt your dog, you could be next. :( I don't want to scare you, but that's abuse and you or your pets shouldn't have to tolerate it, either! what an a**!! :mad: I would love to kick him and then some! :mad: I hope your Coco will be okay and if she has to go to the vet tell your vet EXACTLY what happened as you told us and please, please end the relationship now!! walk away and don't look back.

[coco-bean]

what do i do if he try's to take them from me?!? he already told me before that if we broke up, he'd take coco for sure! I dont want to loose them!

[luvofallhorses]

what do i do if he try's to take them from me?!? he already told me before that if we broke up, he'd take coco for sure! I dont want to loose them!

well don't let him. the dogs are both yours, right? just leave and take them with you, but just please be careful! Is there a friend that you can stay with, with your dogs or with a family member?

[Lady's Human]

send them somewhere where he won't know where they are. Threats like that are an even bigger indication that you need to get out now.

[luvofallhorses]

send them somewhere where he won't know where they are. Threats like that are an even bigger indication that you need to get out now.

agreed. please don't let this go on any longer!

[sanford8916]

You could tell him if he tries to take the dogs you will report him for animal abuse! Good luck to you and your pups! :( Let us know how Coco is in the morning! Poor baby.

[coco-bean]

Today seems to be okay for coco! She was a little slow moving last nite and had no interest in playing after came back home! Today she is running, jumping on the couch and thinks she can handle any set of steps with her wets paws, which she seemed to forget she falls when her paws get wet!(it rained outside last nite)

[elizabethann]

If you really love this "man" can you ask him to sit down for a heart to heart talk? Let him know how much your pets mean to you and that when he deliberatly hurts them, he is hurting you? If he seriously can't understand a word you're saying, then I would document all of the times he has hurt your pets. I would then bring your pets to a family member who you know & trust very very well. Then I would ask him to leave. I would change the locks on all the doors. If he tries to take the pets away, I would get a damn good lawyer and show him/her all the documented times he's hurt your pets.

How old is your boyfriend anyhow? He sounds like he is very imature and is jealous of the attention you give your pets. Someone on the board said something about child abuse and it's true - people who hurt animals will hurt their children.

I hope he hasn't hurt you.

Take care.

[labmomma]

This Andy fella sounds dangerous to me. If he'll abuse one of your dogs then you aren't safe around him either. Do the dogs belong to you? Do you have a friend or family member you can move in with for awhile? Where you live, is it your place or his? If it's yours, kick his a** out and take out a restraining order on him. It sounds to me like he's playing mind games with you and is manipulating you which is, in itself, very dangerous.
Best of luck to you, Tonya, and may God give you the strength to do what is right for you and your babies.
Labmomma

[coco-bean]

elizabethann is he only 18, just graduated last year! so yes he is VERY immature, and he does get jealous very VERY easy! and labmomma i believe the dogs are mine rightfully, i pay their vet bills, i sent in their registration(with the fee), feed them, bathe them, potty train them, i do basically everything for them so i consider myself their rightful owner! Andy bought the dogs for me as a "gift" but he still thinks their his, especially coco, even tho she was my birthday present!

[coco-bean]

Okay im done, i've decided this is getting ridiculous! So I get up every morning between 6 and 6:45 and play with the puppies all day! well i just got back from wal-mart as you all know, I text andy and i told him i sure hope he isnt being a poop today, and he told me he was hungry! I ask him if he wanted eggs, he said yes! When i got home both dogs were in their crates whinning to get out(where is andy when all this is happening?) oh he's just PLAYING PS2 right next to them!! so i asked why he didnt let them out while he was out in the living room, his response "didnt want too" yea okay, so now lets see if i cook ur a** eggs! so he cooked himself the dumb eggs! i walked out in the kitchen to grab a pop from the fridge when he holds up the plate to coco and says sit, he gives her a HUGE piece of scrambled egg, and starts eating the rest himself, i dont know about anyone else, BUT i thought we had TWO dogs, not just one! Cainan was sitting their patiently for his piece of egg...he never got! GRRR...i think everything should be fair! they dont understand things like humans do(of course you all know that, but im just venting) that just isnt fair to give more to one dog then the other! he's so stupid!!!!

[coco-bean]

Ill have everyone know, i yelled at him and called him on everything he's done wrong to those dogs! he is now not talking to me! and his answer to everything after yelling at them is...*turn his head and continue watching tv* like nothing ever happened! except for the fact that he's mad at me! but who cares!

[Love That Collie]

Tonya,
This BOYfriend of yours IS an abusive personality, to say the very least There may be things that you do not know about him or maybe you do. He will not get better unless there is help for him and HE sees he needs help. He is abusive to you even though he might not have actually struck you.............yet. He sounds VERY immature and you are the one who has to decide whether you want to hitch yourself to his wagon, so to speak. You are not married to him so you are free to leave, even IF you WERE married to him you are free to leave. If he mistreats animals for whatever reason he can't be trusted with them. Who knows what he does to them when you are not around.

He sounds as though he does or could have an explosive temper at times. The way you describe it doesn't sound as though he treats you very well either. I would keep the dogs. Does he have any proof that HE has ownership of the dogs? Are they AKC registered or a bill of sale with his name on the papers?

[coco-bean]

there is no proof that he bought the dogs, the registration is totally in my name! I made sure i sent them in with my name only before he got ahold of them!

[Love That Collie]

Then by law they are yours. :D
Please, watch out for yourself and your fur-kids.
Has he always acted like this with the pups? Since you got them?

[coco-bean]

no not at all! When we got coco he never acted like this, he was so good with her, he'd play with her, cuddle with her, and teach her commands all the time! ever since we came across that puppy that he took to the humane society cause he didnt get along with coco, @ ALL, he's just been on edge! he was good for about a week after the puppy was gone, but now that cainan has been here it's like he's just too jealous of him or something! every once in a while he shows cainan emotion, like playing and adding him into games and such, but he doesnt do it all the time! it's just so weird!

[zoomer]

Really.... you shouldn't go any further... he sounds like a total idiot. I would suggest breaking up with him.