A moment of clarity

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I feel like I've got a dirty great cloud sitting on me and have realised that it is because I don't like myself very much. I am feeling so low right now so hoped that putting it in words would help and this is the one place I feel I can do just that.

There is no one specific thing about me that I don't like - its pretty much everything...I've got to change but right now all I want to do is curl up and hide away :(

[Daisy and Delilah]

You've come to the right place Denise. Stay with us here on the board. You'll get alot of support here. Sorry to hear that something is bothering you and I hope you feel better soon. :)

[JenBKR]

Oh Denise ((((hugs)))) You are such a fantastic person! I do understand how you feel though, I have felt that way myself before. Is something in particular bothering you, making you not like yourself, or just a general feeling? How long have you felt like this? Talk to us, we can help!

[moosmom]

Denise,

Sounds like you've got the blues. I get those LOTS of times and try to think what may have triggered it. Think about anything you might have done differently recently. Is there a certain memory of an anniversary that makes you sad?? I know right around this time I used to get VERY dumpy and have figured out it's the anniversary of my Dad's death. Now that I'm back in CT, it doesn't hurt as bad.

We're here for ya!! ;)

[pitc9]

I think you need to call a meeting with the furkids and have yourself a Giant group hug!! That should fix it! :D
For real, hugs to you and I hope you find and fix what ever has gotten you in to this slump.
We're all here for you!

[Dorothy39]

I woke up this morning feeling depressed as well. There's a rainy drizzle outside that tends to feed the negitivity.


What is it , Brodysmum, that seems to have triggered this case of the "blues"?

As moosmom mentioned, her Dad died this time of year, so did mine.(17, August)-

Do you ever keep a dream journal? It helps me , at times, to dig---- deep into my subconsiousness. :eek:

I have always thought of you : as highly intelligent, chipper and positive, outgoing, colorful, young and attractive...........Is your head swelling???

I hope so!!! ;)

Let's call a PT Support Group Meeting to Order!!!! Here, Here!!!!

[Daisy and Delilah]

How are you today Denise? Please PM me if you want to talk about it. You have good friends and lots of support here :)

[CathyBogart]

*Hugs* I hope you're feeling better soon...There's nothing about you not to like.

[Catty1]

This MIGHT be an aftereffect of your more controlled drinking...more stuff can surface from our emotional innards.

In my AA program, I have heard this stuff referred to as "isms" (the last part of the word "alcoholism").

Even though you are not alcoholic, some stuff like this might be happening anyway.

Seems you had a really good doctor - how about making an appointment with him and checking this out? Just in case. Sounds like he was a wise and nice person! :)

You deserve the best care. Lots of folks love you here...and where you are.

Please let us know how you are doing!

HUGS

[Karen]

I cannot think of anything not to like about you!

Let's all list good things we like about her!

1. Of course, is that you love and care for your critters above all.

2. Your sense of humor

3. That you care about other people

[Dorothy39]

Oh, I failed to mention that you are one of my "favorite" Pet Talk members!!

Maybe it has something to do with the water that separates us, but. your posts certainly lift me!!! they honesty do!!! Cross my heart!!! ;)

We adore you , on Pet Talk!!! (extends a helping hand across the water ):eek:

Can you feel us, Brodys mum?

[DJFyrewolf36]

Well...I just had to come by and give you a random *HUG!!*

I know what it feels like to be down at random...Ive been down a lot myself lately. I wonder what it is...

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Thanks guys - I've got some great friends here.

I think that the reason for this particular "fug" is that I have worked so hard recently to get my finances under control, paid off my mail order catalogue balance, paid some of my mobile bill in advance etc etc only to be right back at square one because a client went on holiday without settling my invoice. This means bank charges, bills not being paid on time and there's nothing I can do about it!

This led to a "why do I bother" moment on Friday, which in turn led to having more to drink than I wanted - I wasn't ill or anything just turned into the loud, brash, life and soul that I loathe.........which gave me my moment of clarity. Dad would be so proud :( I feel I've let you all down too

[Dorothy39]

We have all been there, Brodysmum!!!


At times , life becomes sooooo frustrating, I can relate to that moment of clarity. :eek:

And, You did not let us down. You tightened your grip. You returned a favor , so to speak, because , we have all been there!!!! We know the feeling!!!

Another Great Reply, posted by Brodysmum!!!! ;)

Don't forget your second wind!!!! And, remember, You won't get out of this life, alive!!! So, live it up!!!!! ;)
You are a great Pet Talk Member, all the same!!!!!

[Laura's Babies]

Cheers to you!! I send you good thought, lots of cheer and go look at this and I gurantee it will make you laugh!! http://67.15.70.205/talk/showthread.php?t=110824

Remember, tomorrow is a new day, a new chance for a new start.

[Catty1]

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation exactly the way it supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God´s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life´s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

"Shakespeare said, ´All the world´s a stage and all the men and women merely players.´ He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection just as I did. AA and acceptance have taught me that there´s a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I´m complaining about God´s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God."
- from the book Alcoholics Anonymous


Accepting things has NOTHING to do with liking what is happening. Expectations of what was supposed to happen, as opposed to what actually does, can throw me into a sobriety-threatening situation. EXPECTATIONS - the idea that people will follow a script I have unintentionally written - is a killer for me.

What really concerns me is that you drank over this.

I have yet to meet a situation, thank God, that made we want to drink. And that includes seeing my father and my sister die before my eyes - and being there with my family and being able to be present.

And that is not my doing...I had been given the gift of real sobriety, and for that I am grateful.

'God grant me the grace not to 'should' on myself (and everyone else).'

HUGS!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

What really concerns me is that you drank over this.

Me too - although it was a conscious decision to have more than I should have done if that makes any sense. I knew when to go home so didn't stay out drinking for the sake of it.

There are other issues apart from finances that are drowning me but I don't feel brave enough to admit to them at the moment (if ever). All I know is that certain things are bringing me down and making me ill and if it wasn't for my animals getting out of bed would be a struggle again.

Tobey, bless him, has certainly noticed my "glums" - he brought me his ball to play fetch on Saturday and he hasn't done that since the arrival of Archie, cue tears..............

Thank you for all your lovely replies and hugs

[JenBKR]

Oh Denise, we could not be let down by this. We are here for you, to support you, no matter what. We won't be disappointed, we love you for you. You have so many fantastic qualities, especially your sense of humor. You can always make me chuckle (or laugh out loud, causing everyone at work to give me some odd looks). I don't know what else is going on in your life that has you down but if you ever need to talk you know I'll be up for an MSN chat. ((((hugs))))

[Catty1]

Please keep talking here...and please see your doctor, hon! It's great that you know you need to change - but with a lot of people, including me, it didn't happen without some expert guidance! My best thinking got me to where I was - and it's okay when changing is not a do-it-yourself job.

You might have one of those marvellous 'chemical imbalances' - easily treated. Please check this out.

Don't isolate with 'all the other things'.

You are #1 - take care of you!

[ylrebmik]

I'm sorry :( i get like that a lot too. It's hard to talk about it when you aren't exactly sure what is wrong except.. you don't feel right.. in any way. If you want to talk.. message me :)

[Karen]

We like you, and do so even if you did drink when you now feel you shouldn't have.

We like you - the real you, the person who is funny, and posts silly stuff when bored, and is a good person.

We like you, and maybe we can help YOU like you, if we try!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

You guys are just the best! Thanks to your kindness and understanding my cloud appears to be lifting.......I'm looking forward to joining you all again