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Queen of Poop
08-15-2006, 09:36 PM
I hate to be a bother and ask for support yet again. But here's the deal. I let Brad come back last Tuesday and he left today. Like a coward, he packed up his stuff after I'd gone to work and left. I let him back into my heart and he's stomped it again. At first I was really angry and now I'm really sad and hurt.

Catty1
08-15-2006, 09:57 PM
Gayle...it hurts like hell now. But that idiot has done you the biggest favour in the world.

Not to even judge him as a person - that is not cool.

But look at his ACTIONS - what he has done, and NOT done.

It doesn't feel like it now - but you are free.

Like the greeting card says, when he crawls back saying how stupid he has been - AGREE with him!

Then slam the door in his face.

And take care of that heart of yours. It is a big and loving one, and deserves the best in YOUR life.

You have my phone #. Latte's on me!

HUGS!

AbbyMom
08-15-2006, 10:41 PM
QOP,

First of all, I'm sorry that you're in pain and angry and sad.

I've not posted before for you as I don't have children or stepchildren...others here seemed to have more to suggest.

But...I did have an ON and OFF and ON and OFF and ON and OFF and ON and OFF relationship over five years with someone and I can tell you that ending that turmoil of YO-YO emotional upheavals permanently was the best thing that ever happened to me.

It hurts, I know. But now you can start recovering from the pain. Right now. Tonight. You're a sweet person and you deserve better.

As for Brad...DON'T LET THE SCREEN DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

Pat

P.S. Have you ever heard about those afflicted with the Peter Pan syndrome? (I don't wanna grow up)

Karen
08-15-2006, 10:51 PM
Snding you big hugs and lots of support. Next time he asks to come back, tell him he cannot - you already broke his dinnerplate, throwing at the door after he left.

gini
08-16-2006, 12:59 AM
The sadness and the hurt will go away and be healed.

What you haven't yet experienced is the pure euphoria that he is out of your life. It will come!

Hugs to you.

Pawsitive Thinking
08-16-2006, 05:17 AM
Every day will get easier - you will be soooooooo much better off without him {{{{hugs}}}}

catnapper
08-16-2006, 08:07 AM
I am so sorry you're sad and hurt right now, but the others are right. You do not need a guy who doesn't have enough concern for you to leave while facing you. He slithered out to avoid hurting you. He is not a man. Leave yourself free to find a man who will treat you with the respect and consideration you deserve.

Donnaj4962
08-16-2006, 09:31 AM
Queen of Poop, I am sorry that you are hurting. And I can understand what you are going through, as I have been through something very similiar. When I was married (I have been divorced now for about 5 years), he was always walking out, and then he would come back... no explanation. When I would try to talk about it, he would walk away, saying that I should just be happy that he came back. He was always threatening me with divorce. This was through 8 years of marriage. And I always let him come back, believing that it was me that was the reason he would leave.

Well, one day I had had enough... and I left! After months of therapy, I realized that he was so controlling that he had made me believe that I was the problem, when all along, it was him! I also realized that the "Welcome, walk all over me" mat had been removed from my forehead! And while I hurt for months and months, I realize now that I am a better person without him. I am happier and have learned about what real relationships are. Do I miss him? Sometimes. But I think that it mostly is missing having someone in my life.... not the crap I put myself through for 8 years! I now realize that I was in love with the idea of being in love and being married.... and not that I was in love with him. Hard pill to swallow.... but I am glad to be the person that I am now! After a few months, I was visiting my parents, and they said, "Welcome back." I was confused, but they explained that I was a different person when I was with him... sad and obviously depressed. They were glad to have their "Donna" back... the one who loves life and lives it to the fullest!

So what am I saying?? It will take time, but you will get over this breakup. Be strong. Get therapy if you need it. There is nothing to be embarrassed about in needing some professional (and unbiased) help! Gain the strength you need to not allow him to come back. Be grateful for the good times that you had, but know that you both must move on. Life is too short to be miserable and unhappy.

PM me if you would like. I DO understand. It is hard, but you can do it! (((hugs))) Donna

Catty1
08-16-2006, 11:00 PM
Donna's comment reminded me of the saying: "I don't mind being a doormat, but I draw the line at wall-to-wall carpeting!" :D

HUGS!

Queen of Poop
08-17-2006, 08:06 AM
Donna's comment reminded me of the saying: "I don't mind being a doormat, but I draw the line at wall-to-wall carpeting!" :D

HUGS!


Now that's funny!!! Thank you.

And Thank you everyone. This is the roughest time I've ever had. My heart is still in a million pieces, but you've all picked me up a bit.