Joke of the Day!

[lynnestankard]

Hope nobody is offended:-

Cat In Heaven

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat. Anything you desire is yours.'
The cats says, 'Well, all my life I've had to sleep on hardwood floors.'
God gives the cat a big fluffy pillow.

A few days later, 6 mice arrive in Heaven. God meets them and makes them the same offer that He made the cat.
The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run from cats, dogs and crazy women with brooms. With a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.'
God instantly gives each mouse a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing.
'How are you? Are you happy here?'
The cat says, 'I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are just delicious!'


http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/contrib/lilly/laugh1blue.gifhttp://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/contrib/lilly/laugh1blue.gif
http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/contrib/lilly/laugh1blue.gif

Lynne

[Former User]

http://www.plauder-smilies.de/laugh.gif http://www.plauder-smilies.de/laugh.gif http://www.plauder-smilies.de/laugh.gif

[Ann]

LOL, that's a good one. I've heard it before but it's still funny!

Ok, I'll see if I can translate an old Swedish joke here... Please be WARNED though that it might be offensive to some people and contain adult situations (it really isn't that bad I don't think, but I prefer to do a warning instead of getting everyone mad at me :rolleyes: )

A woman lived in a little house in the forest. Her only companion was a cat. She was very lonesom and longed for someone to share her life with. One day a magical fairy showed up and told her she would grant one wish of hers. The woman thought about it for a little while then made her wish. "I wish that my cat becomes a handsome man!" she said. The fairy granted her wish and pooof, a handsome man was transformed outta her cat. The fairy dissapeared and the woman embraced the man saying how happy she was. The man looked at her and said "Now, do you regret that you neutered me?

[Former User]

:D :D :D She might be sorry yes... ;)

[anna_66]

http://www.unique-hardware.co.uk/server-smilies/otn/laughing/icon_smile_lachuh.gifAll kinds of http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/otn/realhappy/xxrotflmao.giffunnies this morning!http://216.40.201.38/ups/dvx_rune/lol.gif

[Randi]

That was hilarious, Lynne!! http://www.unique-hardware.co.uk/server-smilies/ups/icis/ices_rofl.gif

And yours, Ann - also quite good! :D Thanks for sharing! ;)

Just came across this one:

Never talk to the parrot

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"

Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!!!"

[Spacely'sMummie]

:D lol thoses were realy funny jokes:D

[Ann]

LOL Randi, that one was great! :)

[CountryWolf07]

LOL that is funny :)) - Rachel

[Spacely'sMummie]

a cartoon once said: twinkle, twinkle little star I think i just got hit by a car!:rolleyes: ok its lame but it was funnyer on the show:rolleyes:

[aly]

Great jokes guys!

[AdoreMyDogs]

:D :D :D LOVE the jokes Randi, Ann & Lynne :D :D :D

[krazyaboutkatz]

Great jokes Lynne, Ann, and Randi.http://bestsmileys.com/cats/catsilly.gif