OMG... gross

[ILoveReptiles]

There's this guy I am being forced to work with, and he's absolutely disgusting. He must not shower, because he comes into work every day totally disheveled, scruffy looking, and smelling strongly of ripe body odor, pungent cigarette smoke, and sometimes even vomit, urine, and/or alcohol.

He also has a really nasty habit of scratching his testicles. And he does it often. About every 3-5 minutes all day long. Then when he starts talking he gets very boisterous and expressive with his hands, and has to reach out and touch me after he's been digging at his crotch.

It's all I can do not to just throw up on him. So I complained to management, and they talked to him. But he's still scratching himself and touching me, so last night I went out and bought myself a little arsenal. I came into work today with:

An extra-large bottle of Lysol disinfectant spray
A cylinder of Lysol disinfectant wipes
A bottle of Air Wick fresh water room deodorizer
2 refills for my Glade WISP home fragrancer (Hawaiian Breeze scent)

Every time he comes over here he has to start touching things, moving things around, and trying to reach out and physically touch me. I move away from him, rolling my chair back so I'm out of his reach, listen to what he has to say, then when he leaves, I whip out the Lysol and spray everything he's touched down.

I refuse to tolerate his germs ... he's just so disgusting... I can't wait to leave this place. I hope I find a new job soon. This environment is just unprofessional and gross.

[elizabethann]

Yuck. That is gross.

[sasvermont]

I could just about read this story without getting ill.

I would complain one more time and if nothing is done about this person, I would look for a better job.

[ILoveReptiles]

Tell me about it. I've been in this job for 2 years now, and I've been MISERABLE since 6 months into it. Why I didn't look to leave earlier, I'll never know. I am looking for a new job actively now - I have been for the last 2 months, and I'm batting a big fat zero.

But now, I'm so depressed, I drive home most days crying the whole way. I've been seeing a therapist and just talking about my problems isn't cutting it. I'm going to go to the doctor and get myself on some anti-depressants. I'm tired of being miserable all the time. It's no way to feel.

[beeniesmom]

Oh Man, If I were you I'd tell him to his face.

I had a similar situation years ago with my first job.
First, I asked him if he had a medical problem.
When I got the puzzled look I told him to get some stronger soap because his didn't work.
And I asked him if he realized that he grabbed his crotch every few minutes. I told him maybe he had a medical skin issue because of the smell and apparent itchiness.

He never came into my office again unless he absolutely had to.

[JenBKR]

Oh man, that sounds horrible - but I'm glad you found a way to deal with it, at least for now. I'm sorry that you are going through a rough time. Do you think you're depressed because of the work situation, or is there more? If you ever need to talk please PM me!

[moosmom]

touching me

The above is called Sexual Harassment. Complain again to management. If that doesn't do it, go above their head. This pig needs to be stopped!!

[ILoveReptiles]

Oh my depression is mostly because of my work situation, but there's more to it, for sure.

For one thing, I hate where I live. I'm in a Condo complex, and the association is so corrupt, they're always trying to pilfer money from us and line their pockets. They do little to nothing about problems that arise around the complex, and if they do decide to do something, they go ahead and contract it out to the highest bidder, without consulting the unit owners first. So that they can get their kickbacks and line their pockets even more.

Take for example the most recent issue we've been dealing with - some sort of an arc fault installation that's required by law. The association went ahead and signed on with a company, got a quote, and agreed to it, THEN went to all the unit owners and informed us how much we have to pay for this service, instead of making us aware of the problem and allowing us all to obtain our own, cheaper, contractors. They're charging over $800 per unit for just a fuse box upgrade. It's rediculous. And the children in this neighborhood run riot... They're little ingrates, stealing things, selling/buying/using drugs, screaming and running around like little monkeys on acid. I hate every moment of it. I just want to go away and never look back.

So, basically the only good thing I have going on in my life is my boyfriend, and even he and I fight like cats and dogs nowadays, given how miserable we both are. It's not a good situation all around.

[beeniesmom]

Management should do something.... at least talk to him about it.
If they don't can you file a lawsuit?

[ILoveReptiles]

The above is called Sexual Harassment. Complain again to management. If that doesn't do it, go above their head. This pig needs to be stopped!!
Hah, I complained to my boss again, and his response was:

"It takes a long time to break a bad habit."

I'd just assume get my rear out of this place as fast as possible. Dragging HR into it is just going to extend my time here. I'll find a new job, give my 2 weeks notice, and dissappear forever.

[Catty1]

Ask your doctor about paid medical leave - is there any government funding available? You have to GET OUT OF THERE!


And file a report with the POLICE about being touched! I am surprised your therapist can't report such stuff - with your permission of course.

Tell your doctor too - tell them everything. This "man" might qualify for a mandatory psychiatric checkup.

HUGS
Catty1

[ILoveReptiles]

Management should do something.... at least talk to him about it.
If they don't can you file a lawsuit?
I was told yes I can, I have this company "by the short hairs"... But I'm not one to sue. I've always thought most of the lawsuits nowadays are frivolous and stupid.

If you consider that I didn't sue that Chiropractor when he jumped on my shoulderblade and did 6th cervical nerve damage, causing me months of migranes years ago, it shouldn't be a surprise that I don't intend to sue them over this.

[Catty1]

Neither lawsuit would be "frivolous". Some ARE - but yours AREN'T.

hugs
C

[JenBKR]

Oh geez, management sounds like a real piece of work there! Between that and this creep at work, no wonder you are feeling depressed. It IS sexual harrassment, and you can report that to.....ok I forget exactly where to report it :o but I have the info at home. I'll get back to you on that tomorrow. You don't even have to sue, you can just report it.

[JenBKR]

Ok I copied this from the website for the agency I work for:



It is important to note that "I was just kidding around" is not an acceptable excuse. Whether any given language or behavior is considered offensive is in the eyes of the victim, not the harasser. Whether the behavior rises to the level of sexual harassment under the law, however, depends on the details of the circumstances.
While sexual harassment does not always include physical acts, it is nevertheless considered to be a form of sexual assault and can take a serious emotional toll on the victim.
Here are some things you can do if you are being sexually harassed:

Ask the person to stop. Just asking is often enough. If this doesn't work, ask again. Tell the offender that you will have to report the behavior if it continues.

Take notes. Keep track of what the person says and does, what you say and do. Include dates, times and whether there were witnesses present.

If the behavior continues, report it. Meanwhile, ask around to see whether anyone else is having similar experiences. Encourage them to join you in confronting the harasser or reporting the behavior. Always keep in mind that, depending on the person involved, confrontation may not be a safe option.

If nothing is done to address the situation, you may need to consider legal action, though often simply stating your intention to file suit or press criminal charges will be enough to get some action.

For more information, contact:

PA Human Relations Commission: www.phrc.state.pa.us

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission: 800-699-4000 or www.eeoc.gov

I don't know where you are, but the EEOC should be for all of the U.S., the PA HRC is only in Pennsylvania, but if you are in another state they may be able to tell you where to call for that state.

[Husky_mom]

i had a coworker who didnt bathe at all :eek: he stank soo bad he leaved an odor trace wherever he walked by :eek: adn we told him to take a shower use deodorant and change clothes (he changed clothes at most every 15 days, the very same outfit for 15 days without a bath !!!) and what he said?? if you dont like it dont smell me..........what??? and he was serious about it we told the boss and he said i cant force him to bath..........i dont know if he ever bathed cause i changed job thank god...........

its really disgusting having to work with a person like that, i´m sorry for you, i hope the manager can do something about him or *crossing fingers* maybe he gets the idea and take proper care of his personla higiene (sp?)

[beeniesmom]

I just got the most wicked idea...

It's not funny though.... well, maybe it is.

I've heard of people doing this.... but with mouthwash for those with bad breath.

I would purchase a bar of soap and put a post it on it with "take a hint" on it.

I'd put it on his desk after he leaves for the day or before he comes in the morning.

[Lady's Human]

One nice thing about the military. We don't have those issues. If a soldier doesn't bathe/shower/maintain good personal hygiene, it is enforced, usually with scrub brushes and cold water.

[ILoveReptiles]

I just got the most wicked idea...

It's not funny though.... well, maybe it is.

I've heard of people doing this.... but with mouthwash for those with bad breath.

I would purchase a bar of soap and put a post it on it with "take a hint" on it.

I'd put it on his desk after he leaves for the day or before he comes in the morning.

My boyfriend actually tried to get me to do this. He put a bar of soap in my purse and I was carrying it around for days. The guy is pretty volatile - he has stormed out of meetings, slamming the door hard enough to shake the window on two occasions, and has even pointed his finger at the boss and yelled "F YOU" loudly in the boss's face.

Yet, for some reason he's still working here. I don't have the courage to confront him - he might hurt me or something. I'll just keep spraying the lysol after he leaves, until I find a new job and give my notice. That's my ultimate goal.

[beeniesmom]

WHOA! Why don't they fire him? What an A$$.
He doesn't have to know the soap is from you.
Just put it on his desk and have your boy friend write "take a hint", that way he can't accuse anyone in particular if he can't recognise the handwriting.

Seems to me your boss has no *&^LS.

[ILoveReptiles]

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was sitting here minding my own business and his skanky butt comes and sits behind me, coughing up a lung, talking to me about the project we're working on, and I feel his nasty slimy finger touching my right shoulder!!!!! AAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

WTF is WRONG with this guy?!?!? WHY CAN'T HE KEEP HIS HANDS TO HIMSELF?!?!?! WHY MUST HE TOUCH EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!

*insert random swears here, spraying myself down with lysol*

WTF!!!!!

[Laura's Babies]

My best advice to you is NOT to get on antidepressants over situations that you can change. If I had known about them before I took them, I would have quit my job before I ever took the first one. These are some heavy duty drugs and all you will be doing is trading one problem for another.

[ILoveReptiles]

Hmm... According to my therapist, there's two different types nowadays - one is addictive, the other is non-habit forming.

I'm going for the non-habit forming ones. My depression really is getting unbearable... If they don't work, I can always go off of them.

[lizbud]

I guess most work places has at least one person like this. We had a
guy who from the smell of him, never bathed or changed his clothes. :mad:

I never had to work with this guy but, our whole group had to attend a
staff meeting every morning at 8.am. We had cloth like covering on all the
chairs & all sat pretty much in the same chairs around the table each
meeting. No one would ever sit in HIS chair because it started to smell just
like him.

[buckner]

Hm, I have two jobs. Both clearly state that you will be terminated IF you show up dirty and unclean, if you smell bad, etc etc. They'll give you a warning, but after the first, you're out of there. Probably because the managers have to deal with the employees face to face, CONSTANTLY. And no one wants a smelly employee. :P

But as to everything else, I don't know. I don't know if I'd call it sexual harassment, but I suppose it could be classified as it. He is physically harassing you though - and you need to give him a chance to stop. Ask him to stop... jokingly say "do you always have to touch me?!" and back away. And then if he doesn't stop, say it in a serious voice. After that, call the police from your office. You don't need to deal with someone like this.

[Daisy and Delilah]

PHEW!!! You have my sympathy!! At my job, we get people in there all the time that stink to high heaven. They leave a trail of "stank" behind them too. It's just disgusting. What I always wonder is how do these people stand themselves? Does it not bother them at all??? As for him touching you, you have every legal right to file harrassment charges against him. Your workplace is required by law to support anti-harrassment. I hope and pray that you get out of there asap. Nobody should have to live like that! :(

[elizabethann]

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was sitting here minding my own business and his skanky butt comes and sits behind me, coughing up a lung, talking to me about the project we're working on, and I feel his nasty slimy finger touching my right shoulder!!!!! AAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

WTF is WRONG with this guy?!?!? WHY CAN'T HE KEEP HIS HANDS TO HIMSELF?!?!?! WHY MUST HE TOUCH EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!

*insert random swears here, spraying myself down with lysol*

WTF!!!!!

Next time he touches you, tell him to keep his grubby paws off of you now and always. Seriously. This guy doesn't seem to get the hint and if he can tell his boss f.u., then the company is letting him get away with anything and everything. You need to start standing up for yourself because it sounds like the company you work for is doing diddly squat.

P.S. I bought a townhouse several years ago. HUGE mistake. One neighbor next to me played loud music (with the bass) every freaking night. I complained to the association and they didn't do a damn thing. They had parties every weekend and they were just trashy scum. I had this feeling buying the place was a big mistake and I was right. I was sooooo depressed about the whole thing (if I didn't have my animals I'd probably be dead today). So I sold my townhouse (at a profit) and hi-tailed it out of there. So I can understand how you feel about that. If you ever need to talk, please PM me.

Good luck!

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Yuck this guy is allowed to TOUCH you?? Like others have said, that is harrasment. I would file a complaint. Or quit. I'm so sorry you are stuck in such a crummy work environment!!

[zoey]

This guy should invest in a jar of jock itch medicine among other toiletries mentioned here. Sheesh.
As for the touching, he may not know it annoys you.
You have the right to say how you feel. something like,
*it makes me uncomfortable when people touch me. I'd rather you didn't do that anymore, okay?* maintaining eye contact, and when he says ok. say *thank you* holding the look until he looks away. That may be all it takes. ;)
I'm sorry you're having such a bad living and working situation. It won't always be this bad, hun. **HUGS**

[DrKym]

OK a bit late with my 2 cents and that is all its worth,
first call your local labor office, this is a federal issue and under CT labor laws your employer can fined heavily

second if i missed this please reply why is it that he needs to talk or be in your cubicle/ space/office?

third look in your employee handbook and find the phone numbers to corporate offices (you have been documenting days times etc.?)

fourth
Hang in there, no one said living is easy but it is easier with friends!