How would you feel about this? [Archive]

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 09:11 AM

Maybe a silly question - how would you feel if a family member asked to borrow your car to take on vacation with her, her boyfriend, and her daughter? She isn't the most trustworthy person in the world but getting better, he is more trustworthy than her, but I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It would be for a week, from Pennsylvania to Myrtle Beach.

Cataholic

06-23-2006, 09:13 AM

I would feel better about helping them rent a car, with appropriate insurance taken out, and making sure they are both licensed drivers. :D

Laura's Babies

06-23-2006, 09:38 AM

I can't believe anyone would even ASK! That takes nerve in my book.. It is a BIG NO NO in my opinion...

jackie

06-23-2006, 09:42 AM

If it is your main car which you use and need daily, then no.

But if it is a second car which is not needed, then I would lend it out.

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 09:45 AM

BOBS DAD

06-23-2006, 09:48 AM

I would feel better about helping them rent a car, with appropriate insurance taken out, and making sure they are both licensed drivers. :D

That is a very good compromise idea, Cat! Quick Thinking and a possible solution to a sticky situation.

I agree with most probably that I wouldn't be too comfortable with notion. Unless I had like 20 cars and they were just sitting around doing nothing...

:D

Cataholic

06-23-2006, 09:52 AM

It is my main car that I use all the time, but they said they'd give me his truck to use while they're gone. Honestly, I really don't want to lend it to them, and I'm not comfortable with it, but I have a problem saying no and can't think of any excuse for why I'd need my car that week. I'm just wondering if I'm being silly for not wanting to lend it.....

I am going to pick on you for a moment. I **just** had this 'excuse' issue with my sister last night. You are an adult. Why EVER do you need an excuse to do or not do something? WhatEVER is wrong with a simple, "No, I would rather not. I am not comfortable with that". Period, end of sentance. No more discussion. Talk to the hand, cuz the face ain't listening.

You don't want to lend it to them. You aren't comfortable with it.
Your problem isn't with saying no, it is with being assertive. :D

This isn't being mean. This isn't about being better than someone. It is holding true to yourself, and your ideals (okay, ideals might be taking it too far). But, really, I am somewhat puzzled over your, "I don't want to, but, maybe I should do it" position.

I think it is a bad idea, under the scenario you pictured. I have traded cars with various family members. Alot of the time, when I did rescue runs, I borrowed my mom's car!!! So, I am not against car lending in general, just under the picture you have painted.

BOBS DAD

06-23-2006, 09:54 AM

It is my main car that I use all the time, but they said they'd give me his truck to use while they're gone. Honestly, I really don't want to lend it to them, and I'm not comfortable with it, but I have a problem saying no and can't think of any excuse for why I'd need my car that week. I'm just wondering if I'm being silly for not wanting to lend it.....

I had the idea for them to rent a car as well, but they don't want to spend the money for that.....

Wow!!!

I mean... I want to fly to CA this summer - but I also don't "want to spend the money" for the plane ticket. That is awful nervy of them!!!

Shiiitttt... what to tell them... what to tell them???

How close of a relative??? Will they reimburse you if something breaks down with the car???

If not... then maybe you could tell them that you would really like to but you just can't take the chance. You are afraid that the car isn't all that road worthy, needs inspected soon and that a long trip without a check on brakes, suspension and fluids is something you are concerned about. You would feel terrible if something happened or someone got hurt because your car malfunctioned???

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 09:56 AM

[QUOTE=JenBKR]It is my main car that I use all the time, but they said they'd give me his truck to use while they're gone. Honestly, I really don't want to lend it to them, and I'm not comfortable with it, but I have a problem saying no and can't think of any excuse for why I'd need my car that week. I'm just wondering if I'm being silly for not wanting to lend it.....

QUOTE]

I am going to pick on you for a moment. I **just** had this 'excuse' issue with my sister last night. You are an adult. Why EVER do you need an excuse to do or not do something? WhatEVER is wrong with a simple, "No, I would rather not. I am not comfortable with that". Period, end of sentance. No more discussion. Talk to the hand, cuz the face ain't listening.

You don't want to lend it to them. You aren't comfortable with it.
Your problem isn't with saying no, it is with being assertive. :D

This isn't being mean. This isn't about being better than someone. It is holding true to yourself, and your ideals (okay, ideals might be taking it too far). But, really, I am somewhat puzzled over your, "I don't want to, but, maybe I should do it" position.

I think it is a bad idea, under the scenario you pictured. I have traded cars with various family members. Alot of the time, when I did rescue runs, I borrowed my mom's car!!!

You can pick on me all you want, because you are right. I don't know why I have such a hard time just saying no.....but I have always been like that. I am not assertive much at all, and I feel kind of bad saying no. It's my husband's sister, and he had already told her that it would probably be ok (I am certainly going to have a little talk with him about his saying that).

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 09:58 AM

Wow!!!

I mean... I want to fly to CA this summer - but I also don't "want to spend the money" for the plane ticket. That is awful nervy of them!!!

Shiiitttt... what to tell them... what to tell them???

How close of a relative??? Will they reimburse you if something breaks down with the car???

If not... then maybe you could tell them that you would really like to but you just can't take the chance. You are afraid that the car isn't all that road worthy, needs inspected soon and that a long trip without a check on brakes, suspension and fluids is something you are concerned about. You would feel terrible if something happened or someone got hurt because your car malfunctioned???

hmm some good ideas - that would probably work too! lol I loaned my car out a few times before, and the last time I did (not to them, it was a different in-law) I got the car back with barely enough gas to coast to the gas station. Ever since then I have been leary about lending it out.

Cataholic

06-23-2006, 10:03 AM

[QUOTE=Cataholic]

You can pick on me all you want, because you are right. I don't know why I have such a hard time just saying no.....but I have always been like that. I am not assertive much at all, and I feel kind of bad saying no. It's my husband's sister, and he had already told her that it would probably be ok (I am certainly going to have a little talk with him about his saying that).

Well, I don't mean to **really** pick on you. ;) I am not being very sypathetic to you, am I? For me, assertive and Johanna belong in the same sentence, and I don't stop to realize that I just not be the model we all strive to be like. :o

Now, you have added some facts that change things a little...your hubbie shouldn't be lending out the car without the two of you being on the same page. Per chance, did he leave you to do the dirty work? :p

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 10:09 AM

[QUOTE=JenBKR]

Well, I don't mean to **really** pick on you. ;) I am not being very sypathetic to you, am I? For me, assertive and Johanna belong in the same sentence, and I don't stop to realize that I just not be the model we all strive to be like. :o

Now, you have added some facts that change things a little...your hubbie shouldn't be lending out the car without the two of you being on the same page. Per chance, did he leave you to do the dirty work? :p

haha I know you're not *really* picking on me...I think I need to take a page from your book. I wish I could be more assertive, and I'm actually better than I used to be.

I'm not sure if hubby wanted me to do the dirty work or actually believed that I'd be ok with it, but I think we're going to have a little talk tonight.....

Samantha Puppy

06-23-2006, 10:22 AM

No. If they have a truck they'd let you borrow, tell them to use it themselves.

elizabethann

06-23-2006, 10:26 AM

I don't mind when people borrow my car to go to run an errand or use it for the day because there car is in the shop. But to go on vacation? MMMM....no.

I don't understand? They have a truck. Why can't they just take that?

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 10:28 AM

They don't want to take his truck because it's a gas hog.....

And they don't want to take her car because it is seriously a piece of junk. Also, they want a car with air conditioning...

lv4dogs

06-23-2006, 10:28 AM

I agree with the others. I personally would say no. I don't have a problem with lending my vehicles out if it to someone totally responsible & trustworthy, but from what you described it seems like these folks don't fall under that catagory.

king2005

06-23-2006, 10:30 AM

I would have to say no.
I would say no becuase it would create wear & tear on the car & that'll cost you & not them more $$. If the car broke down, I'd have no way to help them.. but if they rented the car company will send a new rental asap to replace the broken one.

If they are low on funds & have honestly worked hard to save up the money, but just cannot get enough cash to rent a car, I'd help a little in the rental fees (like the down payment) & going there with them to make sure all is ok & the car is 100% insured.

Lizzie

06-23-2006, 10:31 AM

I'm a very responsible person who would take even more care of someone else's car than my own and make every effort to return it to them shiney clean and full of gas. But I wouldn't ask someone else to loan me their car because I would consider it my responsibility to cover that expense.

I've only loaned out my car once and I'll never, ever do it again.

Hopefully, your husband will be prepared to tell his sister that he spoke out of turn and he agrees with you that it isn't a good idea. A small donation towards the rental of a car might help to smooth things over, but it shouldn't be much.

BOBS DAD

06-23-2006, 10:34 AM

Some good comments...

King had a good idea that if your hubby wants to "really" help out his sister, then maybe offer to assist her financially with the "rental". It will be cheaper for you in the long run, considering the wear and tear on any vehicle in a long road trip.

You say that "want a vehicle with AC"...

People in Hell want Ice Chips... BUT THEY AIN'T GETTIN" EM

king2005

06-23-2006, 10:39 AM

YAY, I had a good idea for once :p
Must have been a brain fart :D

Ginger's Mom

06-23-2006, 10:44 AM

Hmm, I am going to say "no" too. I am not very assertive, but in this case it is just too much to ask. A simple I am not comfortable with lending out my car for that long of a trip should be understood by everyone. I do have another question (it's actually rhetorical-I know that you won't know the answer), but how can someone plan a trip to Myrtle Beach knowing that they don't have reliable transportation nor the money to rent a vehicle? That just doesn't make sense to me.

Pawsitive Thinking

06-23-2006, 10:45 AM

Not my precious car....no way

DJFyrewolf36

06-23-2006, 10:47 AM

No honestly would have been the first words out of my mouth...without hesitation. Then again I am super paraniod with my car...especially since really Ive only got one. Im hard enough on my cars, I sure don't need anyone else messing them up lol.

They should take the truck or rent a car. Part of trip planning is making sure you can aford to get where your going

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 10:50 AM

haha thank you guys, I certainly am feeling better about saying no, and I got some good ideas. I thought that maybe I was overreacting when I got angry when this first came up, so it's good to know that others feel the same way I do!

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 10:51 AM

YAY, I had a good idea for once :p
Must have been a brain fart :D

You ALWAYS have good ideas Jess!! ;)

Maya & Inka's mommy

06-23-2006, 11:25 AM

I would feel better about helping them rent a car, with appropriate insurance taken out, and making sure they are both licensed drivers. :D

I like this suggestion !

Rachel

06-23-2006, 11:32 AM

. Honestly, I really don't want to lend it to them, and I'm not comfortable with it,

I think you've answered your own question. You don't need any better reason than that for yourself. Trust your gut feeling.

As for them, all you have to say is *I'm very sorry, but it just isn't possible for me to do that*.

king2005

06-23-2006, 11:36 AM

You ALWAYS have good ideas Jess!! ;)

Not always lol
Fresh Garlic & a can of Brown Beans does NOT taste good.. not even when you try to cover it up with a cup of ketsup :D

Rachel

06-23-2006, 11:40 AM

They don't want to take his truck because it's a gas hog.....

And they don't want to take her car because it is seriously a piece of junk. Also, they want a car with air conditioning...

Then maybe they should be saving for a new car instead of taking a vacation! :rolleyes:

This is the kind of *entitlement thinking* that really pushes my buttons. Somebody slap me before I get on my soap box.

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 11:42 AM

Then maybe they should be saving for a new car instead of taking a vacation! :rolleyes:

This is the kind of *entitlement thinking* that really pushes my buttons. Somebody slap me before I get on my soap box.

haha get ready to get on your soapbox, because there's a little part of this story that I didn't tell you yet, the part that sends me over the edge....

Her boyfriend just won $44,000 in the lottery....so it's not necessarily that they don't have the money, more like they don't want to spend it (although he's already blown through most of it.....)

jackie

06-23-2006, 11:44 AM

ok, I didn't vote earlier, but now I have more information, so I voted NO!

You don't have to give them an excuse other then, no sorry.

If they don't want to spend the money on renting a car, I wonder how they will feel if something happens to YOUR car and they have to pay for it.

A million things can do wrong, from scratching the paint, to a fender bender, to a major crash. And most of these things can be covered with rent-a-car insurance.

jackie

06-23-2006, 11:46 AM

haha get ready to get on your soapbox, because there's a little part of this story that I didn't tell you yet, the part that sends me over the edge....

Her boyfriend just won $44,000 in the lottery....so it's not necessarily that they don't have the money, more like they don't want to spend it (although he's already blown through most of it.....)

They can get a rental car then.

OMG! :eek:

catnapper

06-23-2006, 11:49 AM

I was thinking no all along, then I saw the lottery part.... LOLOLO Oh my GAWD no!!!

First I was thinking that if you ask them to pay for one oil change (because you WILL need one after the miles put on the car from the trip) and they pay for one week's car payment (since they are driving it while you're still making payments) and they completely wash, vacuum, and clean it out after they return.... they'd realize a rental is the same cost! ;)

Killearn Kitties

06-23-2006, 11:56 AM

Her boyfriend just won $44,000 in the lottery....so it's not necessarily that they don't have the money, more like they don't want to spend it (although he's already blown through most of it.....)
Oh you're just having a laugh now aren't you???? :D :D :D
I voted. I probably don't have to tell you how I voted.
This is a hilarious story. It has made my day. What a nerve!

Vela

06-23-2006, 12:01 PM

I would not only say no, I'd say HE!! no! espeically after hearing the lottery part.....forget that. I'm a generous person, but they aren't in NEED of it for a dire situation, so I'd say no. It's your car that will be damaged or broken if something goes wrong, and I doubt they would want to pay to have it fixed for you. Not to mention, if they got in a serious accident with it, and they are borrowing it, insurance sometimes won't cover it because it's not being driven by a registered driver, which could come back and bite you in the hiney.

Cataholic

06-23-2006, 12:11 PM

You need to be asking THEM for a car......LOLOLOL

mruffruff

06-23-2006, 12:11 PM

I think you have your answer :D

I think it was nervy to ask. And your husband is certainly free with YOUR car, isn't he? Time for a chat with the guy.

I too have a problem saying no to people. But I'm getting better. Maybe we both need Rachel to get on her soapbox!

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 12:14 PM

haha ok, I did leave the lottery part out on purpose to begin with, to see reactions....to be perfectly honest I am appalled that they asked. In shock. Yes I have a hard time saying no, but I am going to - but I did want some other reactions to see what others thought about it. I knew what answers I'd get if I added the lottery part :D

ramanth

06-23-2006, 12:17 PM

I voted no then saw the lottery part, went :eek: :eek: :eek: and I'd like to change my answer to HELL NO!!!

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 12:17 PM

I voted no then saw the lottery part, went :eek: :eek: :eek: and I'd like to change my answer to HELL NO!!!

haha maybe I should add hell no as one of the answers ;)

sasvermont

06-23-2006, 12:24 PM

Really, see what you will look like when you say it to them. Like a dress rehersal.

I wouldn't loan them my car. If they cannot afford, for whatever reason, to rent a car, then they shouldn't be going on a ))((**(&^& vacation. Just that simple.

My favorite line is: "I really wish I could, but I cannot." I do not feel comfortable loaning other people my car. End of story.

I would loan my closest friend or another person my car if I thought it was justified. In this case, my dear, I think they were intending on "using" you to save a few bucks!

Kfamr

06-23-2006, 02:53 PM

I could understand if they were in dire need, had no other transportation, etc. but having a vehicle of their own AND having won the lottery.

I didn't vote because my choice of HECK NO was not an option.

king2005

06-23-2006, 03:11 PM

they won the lotto & want to borrow your car :eek: ooook, NOT!
I'd tell them to get bent! personally I would have told them off & called them crazy & hung up on them while laughing. Some people are just greedy
%@*&@%#s!!

Sorry, but now I don't like those people.. thats insulting to you.. winning the lotto & wanting to borrow your car, sheesh!!!

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 03:15 PM

Sorry, but now I don't like those people.. thats insulting to you.. winning the lotto & wanting to borrow your car, sheesh!!!

They are certainly a piece of work! It's hard having in-laws sometimes!

ramanth

06-23-2006, 03:19 PM

Andy was going to borrow his brother's truck to move larger items from Detroit to our place in Williamston. Then the more he thought about it the brother just didn't feel comfortable with Andy having his brand new truck.

Andy's reliable, but we respected that he changed his mind, and asked my dad for his truck, and he just happily tossed me the keys.

It's a bigger truck, but I think I can handle it. :)

Your inlaws remind me of my dad's brothers. They could be sitting on millions and would still want my dad to fix stuff for them so they wouldn't have to spend a dime. :rolleyes:

Laura's Babies

06-23-2006, 03:30 PM

WON WHAT????? :eek:

Then they got money to rent a car or go in their own truck IF they really want to make that vacation. Seems to me like they really have their priorities mixed waaaaaaay up.

Tell them NO, you are not comfortable with it, END OF STORY! It is YOUR car and I think they were counting on you not being able to say NO... They had money and could have a nice car with A/C if it was that important to them but it obviously was not. This one takes the cake of any I have ever heard!!!

DrKym

06-23-2006, 03:50 PM

I have been in your situation My daughter wanted to borrow my car for her and hubby and kids to go to Disney, I knew how the son in law drove (badly i wont ride with him lol) My daughter hates driving so educated guess that it would be Thom driving most of it. My husband and I said absolutely! Pay the insurance for it this month, the gas to and from (obvious) a tune-up so we are sure it is safe for the grandbabies, At which point my daughter asked if I knew how expensive that at all was! I replied sweetly yes, so why dont you 2 rent one ? saves money and is newer to boot.
they rented a van! LOL

JenBKR

06-23-2006, 03:53 PM

GiantSchnauzer

06-23-2006, 05:54 PM

cyber-sibes

06-23-2006, 11:17 PM

I had a close friend ask me this a couple months ago.
She said "How would you like to make some money by renting me your car for my vacation? I'm going skiing with my kids and all that equipment won't fit in my cart" (I have an Outback) . I was kind of stunned, this friend is a terrible driver- hit an old man's car 6 months ago, then got a ticket 3 months ago. I used my spouse as a reason to say no - "he's really picky about who drives our cars, I don't think he'll say yes. Why don't you rent one?" I think she just drove her own in the end. :rolleyes: