Horrific News

[Lori Jordan]

My 13 year old daughter just lost her friend Alyse to suicide,what a horrible day it was when she came home yesterday when she told me the news i was in complete dispelief never want to hear about a child nor anyone for that matter.she was only 14 such a sad tragedy....And the way she did it is so sad im lost for words right now!

[finn's mom]

oh my gosh. that is such a horrible thing for anybody to go through, but, especially to lose such a young person. for a young person to feel that there's no other way, wow. i can't even empathize, that's just awful. my chest is really tight, from reading that. :( that is so sad.

edited: maybe someone will see that it can happen, and, open the lines of communication with their own children because of this...i don't claim to know what happened or that it had anything to do with her relationship with her parents at all. all i can say is hug your daughter for us at pet talk. that must be such a hard thing to deal with as a child. i wouldn't even know where to begin to talk to her. my heart goes out to everyone touched by this.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

How horrible for everyone involved :(
I am sending prayers for your daughter, you, and Alyse's family and friends.

I know it's very soon after the event and everyone is still in shock, but will your daughter and Alyse's other friends attend counselling? It's important that they can verbalise their feelings and work through them:(

(((HUGS)))

[Lori Jordan]

She stayed home today.now im sure the grief councelors will be at school for awile the parents were awful,Said she was a waiste of space I guess she told my Becca that,Becca has been in her room she talks a bit she is going in stages she cries,then she talks,then shuts us out,then has been laughing...at silly things they used to do,Alyse was into that devil worshiping i cannot say that is why she did it she hung herself in her closet on 06 06 06? DO you think that means anything im so stunned and numb could not imagine what she went through,she was being bullied by three girls from what i have heard,Im so sad and angry her mother should have gotten her help which she didnt she was cutting herself also i never knew this until yesterday when my daughter came home she always wore baggy sweaters i would have done something if i had seen anything What a sad thing this baby had her hole life ahead of her..My daughter will have to be taken to councelling she has a look on her face as if she has seen a ghost its scaring me she will be going tomorrow to my doctor.she will not be in school for the rest of this week i cannot send her in the state she is in Lacy is being such a champ she has not left Rebecca's side even at night i tried to get her to come to bed in my room she stayed with Becca and did not move....sweet to see how smart they are and how loyal they are when there family is done"God Love her"

[My Peanuts]

What a nightmare for everyone involved. I'm so sorry. :(

[Anita Cholaine]

This is so sad :(
Prayers on the way for Alyse's family and everyone involved. It must be a really hard situation for your daughter and all her friends...

[Lobodeb]

Suicide is such an ugly thing. Ugly isn't the word. Please get your daughter help ASAP. Group therapy helps, even if she doesn't talk. Somehow, it's comforting just to be in a room full of people who feel the same pain you do. The pain of losing someone to suicide is like no other. It hurts like no pain I've ever felt or can ever describe.

Prayers to you and your daughter.

[luvofallhorses]

:( I'm speechless. How sad. :( prayers to you and your daughter and Alyse's family. (((hugs)))

[caseysmom]

I am so sorry to hear this, what a trajedy. Prayers are on the way for your daughter and her friends family.

[lizbud]

How terribly sad. :( Such a young child giving up on life. :(

[carole]

Oh Lori that is devastating news, i am so sorry for your daughter, she will be having a tough time dealing with this, give her lots of hugs and love right now,such a terrible tragedy for all concerned,thinking of you and this poor family who are going through this awful ordeal right now. HUGS.

[Catty1]

I cannot begin to believe that ANY mother who has ANY love for her daughter at all, or says she does, would call her a "waste of space".

Oh-My-God.

That poor girl.

I'm glad Becca is going to the doctor, and that there will be grief counsellors at school...maybe some kid who is thinking about it will ask for help instead of doing it...

Prayers for you and everyone...

Catty1

[MomOf7]

OH MY!
So sorry!

[ramanth]

I'm so very sorry for your daughter to have to experience that.

When I was in High School, my best friend tried to OD on pills. Thankfully her parents found her and the hospital saved her.

She's a different woman now and happily married and I'm happy she's still in my life.

[shihtzulover850]

oh how horrific. She had such a life ahead of her! :( too sad for words :( :( :( :( :( :(

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

How horrible....... :eek:

[Karen]

Tell your daughter she is in our prayers, okay?

[shihtzulover850]

Tell your daughter she is in our prayers, okay?
yes please do!!! :(

[Lori Jordan]

We had a terrible night i was up most of it with her she is finally sleeping now she was having nightmares last night i went into her room she was standing in the dark looking out her window saying she sees alyse hanging off our tree's i started crying i cannot imagine this how her thoughts are right now so we went outside and she seen that there was nothing there she says Alyse is trying to tell her something?I have never delt with this in my life and i appologize if i might sound selfish im scared that Becca will never be able to overcome some things this was her dearest best friend they have been friends since the two of them have been in diapers i can not imagine i have had friends killed in car wrecks and one friend murderd but suicide is something totaly different the loosing part is the same i now kinda wish Becca did not know how she did it am i bad for thinking this?Im so confused and heart broken that my baby girl has to go through this and the funeral is on Monday we are going i think it would be good for her to say goodbye but will it hurt her in the long run,Now Alyse was such a good kid she was always there when becca needed someone to talk to when she was having problems at school Becca says she owes it to her i want whatever Becca wants im just scared of what will happen after the service.Thank you all so much for all your kindness!!!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

That is too sad for words - your daughter is lucky to have you. Please give her a hug from her PT family

[shihtzulover850]

poor dear....... :( :( :( :( :(

[zoomer]

OMG that is horrible, she hung herself? OMG I can't imagine what your daughter is going through... :( I'm really sorry!

[gini]

My heart goes out to you and your daughter because you have to face and deal with this horrible event.

But what I am reading encourages me so much - and that is YOU and how you are right beside your daughter every step of the way. My God, how does a 13 year old process all of this in her mind? No wonder she has a vacant look.

I truly do hope that the school has some counselling for all of the students.

But what your daughter needs as well is what you are giving her - solid support and lots and lots of love. It will be difficult - because as you are telling us she will go through many phases - laughter - tears - stone silence - it will be tough for you to see - and deal with.

Your daughter's life is valuable - she is very well loved - and what a tragedy her young friend did not know that about herself.

You have my prayers - and more prayers!

[Lori Jordan]

She is just having a tougher time than most she was talking to Alyse the night of they always called eachother at nine or so to say good night and Becca says she called and sounded fine she said she did not sound bubbly like she always does but she told Becca her and her mom has a fight and she said she would be fine and would see Becca on the bus in the morning and that was the last she spoke to her....I think that is what Becca is having such a hard time with at the moment she says to me this morning "Mama i did not get to tell her i loved her and never got to say good bye" its heartbreaking

[Lobodeb]

Poor baby. Like I said, suicide is so ugly and painful. The survivors are left with so many "what if's" and "if I'd only..." etc.

What Becca needs to know, is that even if Alise gave some sort of indication that things weren't right, and Becca didn't pick up on it, then Becca's left feeling guilty, like she could have helped, or prevented it. If she had said good-bye, there's always something left that she should have or could have said. Please tell her that this is all totally normal for her to feel this way. It hurts like the dickens, but it's normal.

As Gini said, you're doing the best you can by just being there for her. Just listen to her. Let her rant and rave and cry and scream. Don't feel you have to answer her questions, because they'll probably never be answered. She needs to be able to talk to someone.

Hugs to you and Becca.

[slick]

I've come back to this thread a thousand times intending on posting some encouraging thoughts, but how can I? I've never been a mother, I've never had to deal with suicide and I've certainly never had a friend who has passed.

All I can offer up is lots of prayers for you Lori, Becca, Alyse and her family and friends. I can only imagine the pain you all going through.

RIP Alyse. You did what you had to do at the moment. :(

No tears in heaven.

[Alysser]

I'm so sorry your daughter is experiencing this situation. I'm speechless...RIP Alyse. *HUGS and prayers to poor Becca.* :(

[Lori Jordan]

Just got back from the funeral it was very intersting i must add the way Mom was acting she was smiling and laughing at the burial i dont know if this was my daughter if i could get enough strength to put a smile on my face!!Becca is ok they had a open casket which was hard for her she seems to be ok today she said Mom she is not at rest now so im hoping that by her going it will make her realize that she is now in no more pain and she dont have to deal with the harrasment anymore,i wish she was still here i miss her smiling face but she is gone now and the only thing we can do is keep her memory alive..She was one sweet individual and will be greatly missed the girls that were harrassing her are all up on charges and im glad...hopefully they will be put in jail and get a taste of there own medicine i hate bullys!So that is all for now tc guys!

[Lobodeb]

Thanks for the update, Lori.

BTW, my offer is still on the table for you and Becca.

Hugs and prayers for you both.

[carole]

Lori i am so sorry that your daughter has to deal with such pain so young in her life, just be there for her and love her to bits, one never knows what is going on in their minds and i hope she will confide in you her inner thoughts, you sound a wonderful mother and i know this must be extremely painful for you as well,as you know i have experienced personal loss from suicide and i can well understand the despair you and your daughter must be feeling right now, just know you are in our thoughts and we hope that we can bring some sort of comfort to you at this horrible time in your lives. take care and HUGS to you both.

[Lori Jordan]

Thank you so much yesterday was an ok day she was talking some girls mad some rumors of the body viewing that really scared Becca horrible what kids say!Becca is at school today she has my cell as im at work at the moment and if need be ill go get her and take her home i work with great people and they understand as some have been through this ill type in later how her day went,The cemetary is also beside her school so she can go visit whenever she wants..Thanks again!

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

WOW...

Im so sorry your daughter is having to go through such a traumatic experience.

You guys will be in my prayers.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Just got back from the funeral it was very intersting i must add the way Mom was acting she was smiling and laughing at the burial i dont know if this was my daughter if i could get enough strength to put a smile on my face!!

I went cold when I read that! I guess everyone reacts in different ways to death but this is unbelievable!

You must be so proud of the strength Becca is showing - bless her, she must be totally devastated

[4 Dog Mother]

I am very sorry for what your daughter is going through right now. It is a very, very sad time for all of you.

But please don't judge the mother too harshly. Having lost my son last summer, I can tell you that until you have lived through something like this you can not even begin to know how you will react. I am sure that some people that saw me at the funeral home too probably wondered why I smiled and laughed (Rob's was a closed casket though and I do think that made it somewhat easier). First off you are so numb, that what is happening is not real. You are also exhausted because you can't sleep and again everything is unbelievable. Some people brought up good and funny memories they had with Rob and you can't help but smile about those special moments. And at times, I had to smile and laugh because the crying and screaming I did at home was not something that I would want too many other people to witness. Death of anyone is hard but the death of a child is the ultimate pain - you have lost your present and your future - you will never be the same and the pain will never go away.

This girl's mother may have not been the best mother in the world but I can't imagine that she is not in great pain now and regretting some of her actions and words.

I will keep your daughter in my thoughts and prayers. At her age our friends are every bit as important to us as our family is. We tell them our secrets and our fears and our happy events and everything in between. And as Lobodeb said she may be feeling the what ifs and if onlys. This is going to be a very difficult time for her and I applaud you for letting her talk and cry and giving her the space from school and others to do it in.

[Corinna]

I send also my prayers and thoughts to you and your daughter. Please let her know How many people care for her. It s imoprtant for her to know that. I was suicdal in high school and also lost a freind to it to. so I know both sides. Please on your part keep talking to her and watching for any signs of simular behavior. Sending her a big hug

[Lori Jordan]

I am very sorry for what your daughter is going through right now. It is a very, very sad time for all of you.

But please don't judge the mother too harshly. Having lost my son last summer, I can tell you that until you have lived through something like this you can not even begin to know how you will react. I am sure that some people that saw me at the funeral home too probably wondered why I smiled and laughed (Rob's was a closed casket though and I do think that made it somewhat easier). First off you are so numb, that what is happening is not real. You are also exhausted because you can't sleep and again everything is unbelievable. Some people brought up good and funny memories they had with Rob and you can't help but smile about those special moments. And at times, I had to smile and laugh because the crying and screaming I did at home was not something that I would want too many other people to witness. Death of anyone is hard but the death of a child is the ultimate pain - you have lost your present and your future - you will never be the same and the pain will never go away.

This girl's mother may have not been the best mother in the world but I can't imagine that she is not in great pain now and regretting some of her actions and words.

I will keep your daughter in my thoughts and prayers. At her age our friends are every bit as important to us as our family is. We tell them our secrets and our fears and our happy events and everything in between. And as Lobodeb said she may be feeling the what ifs and if onlys. This is going to be a very difficult time for her and I applaud you for letting her talk and cry and giving her the space from school and others to do it in.
I'm so sorry you went through that i could not imagine,about Vickie im not saying she did not love Alyse she acted like a lunatic she told all the little girls the graffic details of finding Alyse something my 13 year old daughter could have gone withought hearing also said how deap the cuts in her stomach were in my opinion she is out of this world i know she is grieving everyone has different ways but by the way she acted she lost all my respect.

[4 Dog Mother]

That does sound like she is not a very balanced woman. Details certainly not necessary - I can understand better why you felt the way you did!

[Catty1]

I hope Alyse's mom will be under a doctor's care now...as is everyone connected with this horrible event...too bad it took something like this for her to maybe get the help she has needed for years.

Is she getting any counselling at all?


Hugs to you and Becca.

Catty1

[carole]

Gosh Lori i have to agree with you and say her mother is acting rather odd , if not bizarre, perhaps it is her unusual way of coping with what has happened, whatever the situation the pain must be unbearable,,although i know your daughter is suffering too, and you along with her,one can only imagine what her mother is going through.

I hope your daughter is doing ok. HUGS.

[cyber-sibes]

How tragic, I will keep all of you in my prayers. When I was a kid, my best friend's brother hung himself, he was only 14. I don't think parents realize sometimes just how alienated a kid can get to feeling. I do hope you daughter will go for grief counseling and develope a support group with other friends, they need each other.

[joycenalex]

how is becca doing now? kindest thoughts, joyce

[Lori Jordan]

Alot better!!!!she had a school trip yesterday i went to go pic her up and she was happy and laughing,the girls are now up on all charges and were expelled from school Alyse left a note,which i did not know about till yesterday there is memorial pics of her also on her funeral site so becca wrote her a note and said her good byes she is still grieving she will never be over losing her best friend

[Pawsitive Thinking]

4 Dog Mother - thank you for your post. I hope to never experience what you and Alyse's mother have gone through and realise that I should have given sympathy and support instead of criticism - after all, I laughed at my Dad's funeral.


Lori Jordan - Still thinking of your Becca, she is a remarkable young lady

[Lori Jordan]

I myself have always chuckled when i'm nervous.But,if my daughter left this world as tragic as that i do not think i could have any feeling inside me to laugh and go on as she did.As far as i'm concerned she and her husband always thought she was a problem child.Kids can be kids but i would never ignore the fact my son/daughter had mental issues that needed to be taken care of.My daughter lost a good friend it is very hard to deal with,So i as a mother have gotten her help as needed that is my job until im no longer on this planet.Whether she is grown with a family of her own.I'm the one that will always be there for her and maybe just maybe if Alyse had that she might still be here today.Now that is just wishful thinking but,if she had someone to guide her through maybe it wouldn't of come down to this right?Anyways thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.
Lori-Anne

[Lori Jordan]

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/JamieLori/i37146488_30661_2.jpg
http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/JamieLori/Picture013.jpg

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/JamieLori/Picture010.jpg

[Pawsitive Thinking]

She's a beautiful girl

[carole]

I agree she is gorgeous, so sad she has to go through this at such a young age, HUGS to you both, and Lori it is such a pity Alyse did not have the caring,kind mother that you are, some kids are just so unlucky.

[jesse_3]

OMGosh...This is horrible! I am so sorry that you BOTH have to go through this.

I am glad that Becca seems to be doing well. That must be a relief that she is doing better!
Hugs being sent to the both of you for being so strong through it all!

Stephanie