Has anyone struggled with depression while having a new dog?

[ashleycat]

This is hard. I'm losing my patience really quick. I keep getting lazy at trying to train him. I'm thinking of rehoming him. I love him. But I don't know if having a dog is the right thing for me.

It's hard having an almost 2 yr old human, and a 4 yr old dog who is stubborn.

What did you do,, or what would you do?

[Kfamr]

From all of the threads I've read by you, it just doesn't seem you KNOW how to properly train a dog or have the time to learn. Getting a dog of the breed you have no definetly was not the right choice for someone like you. These dogs take a well-experienced owner and trainer.


Sad to say, rehoming may just be the right thing for this dog.. but not rehoming just to anyone. Your best bet would be to give him to a breed-specific rescue.


I've had 3 new dogs, each time there has been ups and downs, but overall they have made me the happiest person in the world.

[ashleycat]

I had my doubts about Lily, but now she's been great. I was so stressed with her sometimes, and I just wanted to cry, but everything got better. Just keep trying :).
What did you do?

[ashleycat]

From all of the threads I've read by you, it just doesn't seem you KNOW how to properly train a dog or have the time to learn. Getting a dog of the breed you have no definetly was not the right choice for someone like you. These dogs take a well-experienced owner and trainer.


Sad to say, rehoming may just be the right thing for this dog.. but not rehoming just to anyone. Your best bet would be to give him to a breed-specific rescue.
That's what I was afraid of. Maybe I should just stick to cats lol. I have one cat. I've had her for 8 years. I emailed the rescue lady that I got him from. Seeing what she thinks.

[Roxyluvsme13]

What did you do?
She's not perfect, no dog is. So I had to learn to deal with her, and have faith in her.

[Kfamr]

That's what I was afraid of. Maybe I should just stick to cats lol. I have one cat. I've had her for 8 years. I emailed the rescue lady that I got him from. Seeing what she thinks.


I'd be a bit hesitant to give him back to that lady. What rescue is she from?

Not trying to sound mean but if she adopted him out to you, who knows if she'll adopt him out to someone exactly like you? He needs a VERY, VERY experienced trainer and someone with more time on their hands.

[ashleycat]

She just had kennels out side with dog houses. I emailed her once about his health from her place,and she never replied back. She seemed like a nice girl. But I think she was just trying to give him away. She didn't do a background check or anything.

I guess she thought it would be alright since I had a yard and stuff. And I seemed ok.

I've gotten more tired since I got him..

I emailed her to see what I need. Cus in her contract it says I need a paper from her stating it's ok to re home.

I wished I would have known sooner. Like BEFORE I got him that I wouldn't be able to handle him. I wasn't as bad before. Seems it got worse after.

I'm seeing a counselor on the 19th. So hopefully I can finally get some help.

[wolfsoul]

I've dealt with depression for most of my life, including when I got Visa. In alot of ways, she made it worse, but in alot of ways she made it better. You just have to find ways to have a dog but still deal with your depression. It's good that you are going to see a counsellour. I would consider going on medication as well.

As for rehoming, it may be the best idea for the dog, but is it the best idea for you? When you are depressed, you can't just drop things and avoid things and expect everything to get better. You have to learn to deal with your problems effectively. Rehoming him isn't dealing with it. It's asking someone else to deal with it for you. Talk to your counsellor, see what he/she says. I wouldn't rehome him until you've done so. Personally I don't think it's the right decision. I have borderline personality disorder and I've had to learn to deal with things too -- sometimes I just can't. But if you don't try, you won't get better. Depressed people see the world differently. We are like children, constantly learning. You wouldn't let your kid give his homework to someone else and have him deal with it instead. The same should go for your dog. You made a commitment when you got him. If you learn that you can get away with it once, what other commitments will you break? Depression is a disease, you can't help alot of what you feel like doing. Talk to your counsellour before making any rash decisions, so you can know for sure what is right for you and what will really help ypu.

[ashleycat]

Thanks guys! You helped a lot. :)

[lost_milo]

I've never heard of anyone suffering from depression while having a new dog; However I've heard of many people who have suffered with depression and got a dog to help them deal with it. For instance I know this one lady who suffered from anxiety attacks and just the thought of going outside was a big deal. She was told by her doctor to get a dog which helped her to overcome what she was going through. I think a new dog can be stressful especially if he/she is out of control but it takes time to work with a new dog lots of time and patience. A dog loves unconditionally however making someone suffer from depression well that I've never heard of. Try working with your dog and you have to be consistent with your rules. He/she will love you in your time of real depression. Good Luck :)

[ashleycat]

I would consider going on medication as well.


I started some a couple weeks ago. So far it's only helped me sleep better at night. my ob/gyn thinks I might be going thru PPD. I think I've struggled thru this since I was a teen. But it's only become worse since having DD.

[ashleycat]

I think you're also right wolf... I need to find a behaviorist for him first. Get his peein inside under control, the rest can be done later.

That's the thing that gets to me and hubby the most. There are other solutions that have been working for the other parts of his behavior.

I really do love him. And my heart just melts everytime he jumps in my lap.

And maybe just take some time to distinguish between wanting to play, or needing to potty. lol

He needed to potty so I let him out. I watched him from the window. And I was voice praising him while he was doing it. And when he came back in I acted like a party and he was sooo happy. He put his chest down and his butt in the air. and was hoppin around.

[Uabassoon]

Life with Payson is very frustrating, I can't even count the times my partner has cried out of frustration. We've had him almost a year now and he still isn't fully potty trained, he's failed out of obidience school twice and he's afraid to leave the house. There have been times when we feel like we aren't right for him and he needs a home with someone who has experience with dogs. However I know that there is no way we would ever rehome him because we just love him too much.

Crate training helped us out so much, but it was a struggle. He's just barely gotten to the point where he is liking his crate and doesn't whine when he's in there. I feel like we are just starting to make some progress in the potty training issue. But still after a year we are happy if we have a day or two with no accidents.

We wanted a dog that we could take out to the park, or camping trips, instead we have a dog that in order to just take him for a walk we have to carry him down the street then put him down because he will only walk in the direction of home.

It's a struggle, but at night we he curls up on the bed next to us the struggle is worth it. However, I can understand your reasons for wanting to rehome him. We don't have a child at home which makes things easier for us. I understand how frustrating this can be. Just remember that there is no quick solution. It has taken us a year to finally start making some progress with Payson.

[luvofallhorses]

sorry to say, but I do agree with Kay. (not that agreeing with Kay is bad!!)

I have never became depressed with my dogs, frusturated (sp?), yes. If they are sick, of course I am depressed when they arent' feeling well. They all make me happy and make me laugh every day and I honestly couldn't live without any of them.

[zoomer]

Maybe you could take him to a proffesinal trainer? They always seem to help.

Maybe sending him to a pro for a while? I have heard of that before.

Have you read books about training? They might help.

Try some training websites, you can search on google.

If you think it is best and any of these methods don't work... maybe you should consider a different breed.

[luvofallhorses]

I would also suggest a behaviorist or tell the potential adopters that he will need patience and time and training. Also, NILIF (http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm) It has worked wonders for many.
and have you had him checked out by a vet to see if there's anything medically wrong with him??

[ashleycat]

He's healthy. I've been doing nilf. But it's hard keeping him on leash 100%of time.

Diff breed? maybe. I think I will wait on dogs till I'm done with kids and they are older.

I've done books, dvd's. Went to Mans Best Friend but they wanted $1000 that I don't have in pocket.

He does need behaviorist.

I can get him to do basics. sit, down, stay, lay down, roll over, paw touch. Most of the time he won't do them unless I have a treat. Getting petted and toys don't really do much as far as rewards.

I have always let people walk over me. So I guess he can sense that and think he can too. What ya think?

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I suffer from anxiety attacks and often go through bouts of depression. My pets are what help me through all of it. They do often frustrate me but more often than that they help me. I think that it depends on what triggers your depression. I don't like to be around people, I don't like restaurants or stores. I also don't like to be alone. My animals help me to keep busy and feel needed without having to leave the house too often. They also help me outside of the house. I've never been able to take a walk by myself, but I can with a dog.

When dealing with postpartum depression I would think that adding a dog to the family would make things worse because it's like having two children instead of one.

[BOBS DAD]

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I hope that counseling will help you. If it is any comfort, please be assured that most people struggle with some form of depression in their lifetime. Yours is common and counseling will definitely help - but don't expect immediate results. Open up to your counselor... talk about everything that bothers you, makes you sad. The worse - the better, and you'll begin to see a brighter future.

I know that many cat people can find dogs difficult to train initially and sometimes impossible. That is because cats and dogs are so different. Also dogs are sooo much more demanding of us! Cats are independant, clean and take to their litter boxes quickly. Dogs are almost "dumb" comparatively. But "happy dumb".

Maybe you can find someone, perhaps a relative, to foster your pup as you undergo treatment. They can help with the training (crate I recommend) and take off some of the load for you. A 2 year old at home is enough for now. That way you can still visit and take your time deciding if he needs to be rehomed.

Good luck in whatever you decide!!!

[ashleycat]

I still have him. He hasn't peed inside for a couple days. So I think something is working.

Also, in the morning when he hasn't eaten yet. I've been using those beggin strips for some training. He goes nuts for them and he is sooooooooo focused.

Like this morning. He is usually taking food away from my daughter. So I gave her the treat to give him.. And when he tried to take it from her I said AH AH. And he backed off. And then she gave it to him. And then after that he was holding off till she gave it to him.

Hopefully we can make it. I keep changing my mind lol. I don't know anyone that can foster him for now.

Since the rescue lady already put him on petfinder, can she edit it to say foster? I dunno. I hate when I can't make up my mind. :rolleyes: