Are you a party person?

[jenluckenbach]

Do you like going to and/or giving parties? I do not. :( I mean it is wonderful to be wanted and invited, but I fear being around a lot of people, especially if I do not know most of them. I am simply no good at it. :(

Maybe it is my lack of experience (after all, I am hardly ever actually ASKED to attend a party. And I don't know enough people to actually HAVE a party) so I feel uncomfortable AT a party.....know what I mean?

I'd be interested in knowing if there is anyone else like me. :o

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I don't really like parties either. When there are too many people, you don't really get to talk anyone and if you don't know anyone then it's kind of uncomfortable...for me anyway, I'm not one of those people who instantly feels familiar with everyone. Also, my husband and I don't drink so I don't like parties where there's lots of alcohol.

So, you aren't alone!!! :D There are plenty of other things to do anyway. :)

[Ginger's Mom]

Hi Jen, I am definitely like you. What I say is I am not a people person. I am very uncomfortable around large groups of people even if I do know most of them. I am not a good conversationalist, so I don't say much. Then I go home and beat myself up for not talking or getting involved. Or I will say something that is extremely stupid or not right for the situation and go home and beat myself up for that (not literally, of course). So the end result is, I usually go home from parties not feeling very good about how things went. Long answer, but my way of saying I know how you feel.

[Glacier]

I love hosting them. We have had some legendary bbq/bonfire parties. Our New Year's Eve party this year was a riot, complete with bbq burgers, crib tournment and a huge bonfire. I think there were about 50 people here. I always host a "Yukon orphans" dinner at Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving for friends who have no family here. I love cooking a big, fancy meal. I can't wait til we drill our well--then I won't have to worry about running out of water while people are here!

Stuart is extremelly socialable. He'll go anywhere, anytime, doesn't care if he knows a soul at the party. He can talk to anyone about almost anything. I'm much more comfortable in my own home. When we go out to a party, I tend to stay close to Stuart until I feel more comfortable or get a couple drinks into me, whichever comes first! Usually someone will ask about our dogs and I can talk for hours about them.

[jenluckenbach]

I am very uncomfortable around large groups of people even if I do know most of them. I am not a good conversationalist, so I don't say much. Then I go home and beat myself up for not talking or getting involved. Or I will say something that is extremely stupid or not right for the situation and go home and beat myself up for that (not literally, of course). So the end result is, I usually go home from parties not feeling very good about how things went.
:eek: This is me to a T. I thank you for your honesty (and P_C too).

I really wish I could be more of a party type, but I guess I am too old to learn. :rolleyes:

I am glad to hear both sides of the story too, so keep on posting! :)

[Laura's Babies]

In my "hay day" I was always the life of every party! I got invited because they knew I would get people talking to one another and liven up the party so that everyone had fun... When I went to work on the river and moved to Florida, my "group" sort of died away and the partying ended...

I can strike up a conversation anywhere, I never meet a stranger!

[chocolatepuppy]

I really like being home. After working all week, I'd rather stay home with my furkids. I see people all week at work, I guess I don't feel the need to socialize much on weekends. ;)

[Kfamr]

Yes and no.

If the party is legal safe fun, than YES.

However, I'm uncomfortable and incredibly antsy at parties with kids who seem to think they're incredibly cool for doing drugs, underage drinking, etc. I often find myself and my close friends just leaving or going outside of the party and having our own fun.

[slleipnir]

I feel really uncomfortable around people I don't know REALLY well, so no. I use to go to flyball parties a lot, and I usually sat by myself. I just don't know how to talk to some people. I admired a lot of the people at flyball, so I found it especially hard to talk to them. I wanted them to like me, so I guess I put the pressure on myself. If it's a party with family and close friends, then yes, I like them.

[Karen]

I like parties, but then again, I like people. Paul is NOT a party person, (nor is Miss Hoppy)but that's okay, it takes all kinds to make the world. I have no reluctance about talking to strangers, I probably drove my parents crazy doing that when I was a kid. In fact, it was difficult for me, when I was a "nanny" to teach my charge not to talk to strangers, but we were in a big city, so I understood it had to be done. But in my heart of hearts, I think "If I don't talk to strangers, how, ever, will I make new friends?" Yup, I'm an extrovert.

Of course the best parties are Pet Talk gatherings, because you know you'll never get funny looks for going on and on about your pets! :) That, and of course the fact that pet people really are the best people out there. And they are parties Paul even enjoys!

[kuhio98]

I'm not much into parties. I'm more of an introvert. Someone explained to me this way ~ When an extrovert needs to recharge their batteries, they want to be around a lot of people and feed off of that energy. And introvert needs more quiet and less people. That's me. In a large group of people I find myself getting tired and quieter and quieter.

[Karen]

I used to have a Bloom County cartoon taped to my desk at work simply because I loved it. It was Opus, the penguin, (objecting to nuclear war*), and the beginning of it went like this

"I like folks, all types all kinds
People are a weakness of mine
Slap my hind with a melon rind
But that's my penguin state of mind."

I've looked for it on the web and not been able to find it, but the whole thing is just great, and I heartily agree.

(*His point is "I like people - they shouldn't be blowing each other up!)

[sirrahbed]

I am very much of an introvert and a homebody.

Plus, I am very uneasy around folks I don't know and crowds make me climb into a shell. In fact, I don't even like shopping and avoid it most of the time. I was just telling hubby about something that happens to me....I will ask a question or make a comment and it does not seem to get answered. He says I just talk too quietly :rolleyes: For me, this is almost a phobia I think....I become really anxious and all of the sounds seem to run together. I am often afraid I will say something stupid and I get tongue-tied when I talk.

For me, this is almost disabling because I avoid most social settings and I wish I did not do this.

I can relate to what you are asking Jen. I wish I was more comfortable at gatherings and sometimes I get sad and upset with myself. But, I guess this is why I enjoy my animals so much :)

I try to just accept the way I am and not worry too much. I have been this way as long as I can recall. I do fine in a work setting but not socially. In fact, I saw the title "party-person" and just cringed!! :eek: :)

[slick]

The older I get, the less I'm into the party scene. When I was in my twenties and thirties my answer would have been a resounding yes, but now I'm more selective in how I spend my spare time. If I'm invited to dinner and I don't really like the company, I simply don't go. It's just that simple.

Around big crowds of people I don't know, I become this tiny, shy little girl that hides in the corner away from people and away from all conversation. I never know what to say and my insecurities forbid me from making the first move. So I choose to gather up the dishes, take them to the kitchen and clean up the kitchen...anything to avoid being in the "eye" of the party.

I handle small crowds of 5-10 people much better, whether or not I know them. It's a more intimate setting....not so loud and I feel more comfortable getting to know others.

All the people I know up here never give parties and I never host parties. Instead, I prefer to have 2 or 3 close friends over for dinner and share a good meal and a good bottle of wine. That's more my style these days.

[CagneyDog]

No, too uncomfortable. Especially when their is illegal stuff going on.

[captain]

Stuart is extremelly socialable. He'll go anywhere, anytime, doesn't care if he knows a soul at the party. He can talk to anyone about almost anything. I'm much more comfortable in my own home. When we go out to a party, I tend to stay close to Stuart until I feel more comfortable or get a couple drinks into me, whichever comes first! Usually someone will ask about our dogs and I can talk for hours about them.

This is John and I - in reverse. I can talk to anyone, anytime ............. and John is the quiet one ......

Although I LOVE being at home too - especially the new house. It is so relaxing ... :D
I also like having people over ...... although all I do is run, run, run ......... being the "ultimate" host :D (i.e. the host who makes sure everyone else has a drink, and then wonders where HER drink is ... :D )

Tamara - as for the dogs .......... that brings all my friends out of their shells ..:D

[cloverfdx]

Yep i love parties/ BBQs/ socialising with fellow Flyballers anything realy :o. I'm set for the night when someone mentions dogs lol ;).

[K9karen]

i'm as outgoing as can be! bring it ON!! there's a whole group of us that have been hanging out for years, so it's not really partying, more like constant socializing. but john and i are always getting invited to weddings and social functions. now that i'm one handed-hence no caps..too hard...i've been invited out more than ever! everyone jokes that my cry for attention works..LOL. before i got hurt, and cooked something special, i always invited neighbors, friends or john's kids to come over. i love people. went to a street fair today, lots of activity and best of all, dogs, so i met so many super sweet happy to chat about their dogs, people. i take after my dad, while my mom and brother were/are the introverts.

[Lizzie]

I loved parties in my teens and early twenties, I went out partying most nights of the week (and I was a nurse, so I can't believe now that I had the energy). However, as others have posted, as I got older I enjoyed them less and less. When I was married, in my late twenties and into my late thirties, we threw many parties and dinner parties. I thoroughly enjoyed planning them, organizing everything, cooking, making my home hospitable, but with the first ring of the doorbell I'd wish I was the "help" and not the hostess. However, my then husband was extremely sociable and came into his own at that point. It was really good team work.

I'm perfectly comfortable meeting strangers and don't have trouble starting a conversation, but I do find large gatherings boring so I avoid them as much as I can. A dinner party for about six is the best kind of social gathering for me.

I appreciated Lisa's remark about introverts and extroverts. I'm an introvert and definitely need to be alone to recharge. I'm half-way through a two week home holiday at present and really enjoying it. The only people I've talked to over the past 11 days are those at the shelter for about an hour last weekend and the techs at the vet hospital for half-an-hour. Of course, the fact that I've adopted 8 cats over the past 3 weeks or so has kept me very busy. How can I want to socialize with people when I'm so busy getting to know them?!

[jenluckenbach]

Ah Debbie (sirrahbed) your description could also be me! (I left in the parts that are 100% me)


I am very uneasy around folks I don't know and crowds make me climb into a shell. .........I will ask a question or make a comment and it does not seem to get answered........For me, this is almost a phobia I think....I become really anxious..... I am often afraid I will say something stupid and I get tongue-tied when I talk.



But it is sure nice to hear about those who can talk to anyone any time. I sure wish I could be like that, at least sometimes.

[catnapper]

I like parties where everyone gets together for a nice quiet time - maybe a few sets of people over for dinner and some conversation in the livingroom.

I have NEVER been a person who likes the wild alcohol ridden parties that you see on tv and movies. Even in college when they seemed to be the way to spend a "fun" weekend, I thought they were tedious and paintsaking. I get sick over cigarette smoke and would come home smelling like an ashtray. Whats fun about that?

I do love to socialize and can talk to just about anyone. Now, if I could convince a whole bunch of people that a fun staurday night does not incude alcohol or cigarettes and no blaring music or tv..... now a quiet evening with quiet conversation, sodas, and pizza would be an awesome "party" in my book.

However, once I download my photos from the camera, you'll all be amazed to see who was the life of my party yesterday --- Allen! He came down for loving from the 50 guests that were here for the baby shower! ;)

[king2005]

I picked other, as I enjoy small parties & small clubs (nothing too crazy), but I will go to a big party once in a blue moon with a group of friends.

[jenluckenbach]

The funniest part of this all, is that I NEVER even considered WILD parties with alcohol and smoking (as I would NEVER go to one of them). My original thought was being in a large group of people where they all know each other, but you do not. Feeling like an outcast while the others all huddle in their little groups having a good time.

Now that catnapper has posted I can explain a little (and Kim, PLEASE do not feel that this is in ANY way your fault!!!!!!!) But I was at her baby shower yesterday. It was a great success, but not for me. :( I actually sat out on the front stoop for a while crying because I did not fit in. :( And I was so looking forward to this party. For WEEKS we were counting down the days, and then the old me, the shy one with no self confidence took over. DRAT! I am a failure.

I am so sorry to whine................ :( Feel free to ignore.

[king2005]

The funniest part of this all, is that I NEVER even considered WILD parties with alcohol and smoking (as I would NEVER go to one of them). My original thought was being in a large group of people where they all know each other, but you do not. Feeling like an outcast while the others all huddle in their little groups having a good time.

Now that catnapper has posted I can explain a little (and Kim, PLEASE do not feel that this is in ANY way your fault!!!!!!!) But I was at her baby shower yesterday. It was a great success, but not for me. :( I actually sat out on the front stoop for a while crying because I did not fit in. :( And I was so looking forward to this party. For WEEKS we were counting down the days, and then the old me, the shy one with no self confidence took over. DRAT! I am a failure.

I am so sorry to whine................ :( Feel free to ignore.

I've done the same thing SOOOO many times!! Your not alone, just keep forcing yourself out there & it gets a little better each time :) I started going to a small club with friends & I found that helped.. I was the onlyone that didn't fit in, but I kept going anyways. Then one day I was peeled from the bench & forced to dance with a bunch of girls my age.. that sure was freaky!!! I think I was sweeting like a pig & not really dancing.. then I didn't have a choice to dance as they made me by force lol.. after that I was able to relax, still didn't dance often, but I'm more comfortable in a small group of strangers.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I don't like parties at all. Justin and I have a weekly game night with our best friends and I'm fine doing that but not real parties. Our best friends are like family, actually we're both more comfortable with them than we are our 'real' family.

I always have a big anxiety attack before hosting a party, but I do prefer that to being a guest at someone else's party. When I host a party I'm in control of who's invited, and what goes on at the party. Our parties are usually outside around the fire pit. It's very casual and the dogs love all the attention everyone gives them.


I am very much of an introvert and a homebody.

Plus, I am very uneasy around folks I don't know and crowds make me climb into a shell. In fact, I don't even like shopping and avoid it most of the time. I was just telling hubby about something that happens to me....I will ask a question or make a comment and it does not seem to get answered. He says I just talk too quietly :rolleyes: For me, this is almost a phobia I think....I become really anxious and all of the sounds seem to run together. I am often afraid I will say something stupid and I get tongue-tied when I talk.

For me, this is almost disabling because I avoid most social settings and I wish I did not do this.

I try to just accept the way I am and not worry too much. I have been this way as long as I can recall. I do fine in a work setting but not socially.
That is me. I know exactly what you mean about not getting acknowledged when you say something, it happens to me all the time. However I do worry about it, in fact I often have an anxiety attack before leaving the house.

It is a phobia. I've been dealing with Social Anxiety Disorter (http://www.socialphobia.org/) pretty much my whole life, though wasn't diagnosed with it until I was 16. As a kid I was labeled as "shy", but it was a lot more than that.


I appreciated Lisa's remark about introverts and extroverts. I'm an introvert and definitely need to be alone to recharge.
When Justin and I are out and away from the house for awhile my anxiety wears me down and I start to get grumpy. Justin will say it's time to go home so I can 'recharge'. Just being back home makes everything better.

[finn's mom]

I'm a complete extrovert. I like parties, regardless of who I know or don't know. I love meeting new people, it's like reading a book and getting to know all the characters. I love going to clubs and dancing. I never went to parties in school, when I was younger, I was pretty shy, and, totally not into anything like drinking or smoking or boys. So, the couple parties I did attend, I didn't participate. I just remember doing a lot of people watching. Which I still do, people are funny, fascinating, interesting, etc. My boyfriend is a bit of an introvert, but, he's improving. ;) When he drinks, he's an extrovert, definitely. I'm always outgoing.

edited to say that I've never actually hosted a party, so, i chose that i prefer to be the guest. i'd like to try to host a party one day. :)

[catnapper]

Jen, I had no idea you were crying! I kept looking for you to talk to you and help you feel more comfortable, but you dissapeared! I feel just awful.... I'm so sorry you felt so out of place. :(

[Barbara]

When I was a teenager I hated parties- for all the reasons mentioned. I felt like I never had the right clothes, said the right thing and was as un-cool as could be. Ususally I ended up in front of the host's single bookshelf just reading :o

Now I love parties (a problem because my husband hates them ;) ).

And the best parties are Pet Talk parties :D

[dogzr#1]

Not much of a party person. I'm to shy. Even if it is at a birthday party for one of my friends, I am usually the calm one, everyone else is soooo crazy. I think we have hosted 1 party before, but it was only for relatives. So no, not a party person.

[lute]

i prefer being a guest at a party. i can leave if something comes up. and i'm not blamed for all the drunks that are in the house.lol

[Logan]

I love entertaining in my home and we truly don't do enough of it. Maybe now that we're finally getting our yard and home in better shape, we will do more. I think both Scott and I, and our children, like having people in our homes. Scott and I enjoy visiting with friends in their homes, too, when invited. Helen is always comfortable in those settings, as well. I sort of like it, selfishly, when it is just the 3 of us, attending other people's parties or gatherings because the other two children seem less happy, socially, and I end up worrying about them, rather than enjoying the company.

I'm like Karen. I'm very social and usually have lots to talk about with anyone around me.

Logan

[cyber-sibes]

Just depends on what's going on. I like to have friends over and cook big meals for everyone. I usually invite our "stray" friends that have no other family around over for holidays, too. And once in a while it's nice to go somewhere for a special occasion. We don't party much anymore, and "work" parties tend to be pretty boring - don't you spend enough time with these people? :rolleyes:

[jazzcat]

I voted that it depends. I get pretty stressed out over hosting a party. I've only done a few. As for going I'm not extremely social but I almost always end up having a good time and am glad I went afterwards. It's kind of like pulling teeth to get me to go sometimes though.

I'm considering throwing a big catered BBQ for my Dad's 84th birthday coming up next month. I won't mind that so much because I'll probably have it at his house and I won't have to cook. ;)

[Cataholic]

Very interesting thread!

I am not really a 'party' person, per se, since I go to bed at 830 pm, and who has parties before then? snicker, snicker.

I like people, and generally get along with everyone (really, I am telling the truth). While I don't love big crowds, it isn't because of a fear of people, but, because it is too hard to manage a conversation in them.

To all the people that say "I don't know what to say" or "I say the wrong things..." remember that most people just want a friendly face to smile at! Just go up and say, "Hi, my name is Betty, and I don't think we have met, have we?" or, "My name is Betty, I don't know a soul here, do you"? Really, if you do it five or so times, it works!!

I went to an party with my sister in March. I was one of maybe 3 people that didn't speak english! I just smiled, and said hello, and within a few minutes, people realized I was clueless, and instantly included me in the conversation! The easiest way to get it off the ground, just smile and say hello. (the non-talker has to take some initiative!!).

[Cataholic]

Hi Jen, I am definitely like you. What I say is I am not a people person. I am very uncomfortable around large groups of people even if I do know most of them. I am not a good conversationalist, so I don't say much.

This surprised me! I think you come across as very people-y!!

[PinkSunshine]

Nope, not a party person at all. I'm in college right now and have been to exactly 3 'parties' in the 3 years I've been in college. I'm just not a social person. I'd much rather be at home with my fiance & animals, then be out socializing....

[carole]

No i hate parties, going to them , having them,(although i am way more secure in my own surroundings, i would
feel nothing is good enough that i do) if an invite comes in i panic completely and get in a right state, but then i am social phobic, but it appears i am far from alone in that on PT,hate hate hate parties with a passion. I wish it could be different, it must be wonderful to feel happy and elated at going out to a social function, i so wish i could experience that once in my lifetime, I envey those who do.

Having said all that , alot of people would never guess i am that way and are quite suprised, i can hold a conversation one on one on problem at all, and most people find me friendly, but i am an introvert, my mother is the same, although worse IMO, honestly i believe it is genetic, i am lucky i have bred two children, especially my daughter who have not inherited my lack of socialising skills, infact Melissa i would describe as an extrovert, Scott somewhere inbetween, Hubby is also somewhere in between.

I believe alot of it comes down to lack of self esteem,and of course it is a fear like any other.,it is just very mis-understood, and is difficult for people to understand.

Jen i empathise with you 100 per cent, and understand where you are coming from, it would not necessarily be the people at the baby shower, it is really i believe down to you and how you are feeling about yourself at the time, from my own experience, i can handle some situations quite well at times and others i am a complete mess, even i cannot understand it myself, so no wonder others have difficulty with it ,please feel free to Pm me anytime, i have struggled with this all my life , but now have a inner peace with it all,because i have stopped trying to fit in and please other people, pick and choose my social events, which are far and few between, and only go to things i think i am capable of handling,although they say we have to face our fears to overcome them, for me that has not worked all my life, so now i am doing what is right and and comfortable for me and i am much happier and my anxiety is lifted because i do not feel pressured anymore, there are some things i just cannot avoid and must do,those are a challenge, but you cannot avoid some family outings and funerals that kind of thing, so one must do what one must do.

Take heart in knowing so many others on PT are like you and understand and wish to share and help you.

On a lighter note, that is why PT is such a great place for people who find it hard to socialise in public, here you can open up , be yourself and be the person you might want to be in person , if you get my drift, also a great outing for social phobics is the movie theatre, hidden in the dark, totally relaxed, oblivious to those around you, my fav outing.

[Mad Mags Moo]

Mmmm, tough one, when i was younger i would be the life and soul of the party always joking and laughing but now I am lonely, just got my cats, husband and my job. Worse since I moved down from scotland to england 4 years ago. More i don't go out the worse i get and worry that people don't like me.
Going off topic...sorry! Give me my pussy cats, hubby and some good films to watch and i am happy but i wish i could go out and let the old me out! :(

[Buddy Blaze Lover]

I actually LOVE parties, especially when we have them at our house, and I know everyone! (it makes me more comfortable) I will say, one of my favorite things to do is have company over...I always have a blast!!:D;)

[Tollers-n-Dobes]

No, not at all. In real life, I'm a very quiet person and it takes me a while to get to know somebody well enough that I feel comfortable talking to them. I hate being around a bunch of people I don't know and am always worried I'm going to say or do something really stupid by accident. If it's just a get together with dogs though (like a PT meeting or something) I'm just fine, I guess it's because the dogs give you and everyone else something else to focus on and something to talk about.

[Anita Cholaine]

It depends of who's invited... If I go with my friends and people I know, then I love them and have lots of fun. I would never go to a party where I don't know anybody well, though! I just find it really hard to start knowing someone I never talked to before....

[mruffruff]

Like Ginger, Jen, Slick and Carole, I'm not a party person at all. I can relate one-on-one (or two), but any more than that and I do and say dumb things. I have spent a few parties in the kitchen, bathroom or backyard. No matter what I do I can't seem to feel comfortable around lots of people. I can understand how some people can become hermits, although I don't want to be one.