Wish I could go home.

[king2005]

On Easter Sunday I went & spent the day with Tom. Rob had been gone all week so I was able to go to the old place. Tom was ranting about Rob not returning until Tue & missing work (Tom needs Rob to drive him to work). Well ya, Tom said some things & then the puzzle was complete.

Rob has been cheating on me for months with a girl in Sudbury :(
I knew when he told me that he was going to be meeting some gun buddies in Sudbury back in Jan/Feb it was a crock of BS. He had told me months ago that he doesn't talk to them anymore & when I asked to go, strangly it was a no. SO I asked to be dropped off at my aunts house in Sudbury & that was still a no. So I just brushed it off. Then Rob broke up with me the monday before his trip. Its all clear now. He built an office in the 3rd bedroom & bought a webcam all for her :(

All the times he dissapeared for work & couldn't be reached, he was with her. I wonder all the times he said he was going flying & would be gone all day, if he was with her then too. I feel so dirty & used. I feel like he was only with me until he found someone else who would do what I refused to do (I know thats why he ditched me).

Toms really P'ed off & hes planning on moving back to Ottawa. I don't want him to go, as I'll be alone in this strange city.

I just want to go home.

[JenBKR]

Oh honey ((((hugs))) I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can't believe that he was cheating all that time. :( If you ever need to talk, PM me. You'll get through this, we are always here to help.

[Russian Blue]

I've seen so many people in your position. Remember, what doesn't break you will make you stronger. Also, life is not fair but is full of lessons we can learn from so we don't let them happen again. Chalk this up as one of those experiences and in the meantime start develping your own goals. Work on making yourself stronger and independent.

I'm not saying it's easy, just there is life after a relationship and you have the power to use this experience for your benefit. See this as a kick start to a new path. What do you want to do with your life? Where do you want to be in 2, 5, 10 years from now? Start developing a plan and setting yourself some short and long term goals. Once you start focussing your energies on your current life, rather than on something that was in the past, new ideas and paths will open up. Focus on the positive, since the negative thoughts will just drain you.

Remember, right now you have a job and a place to live. You can do anything you want with the rest of your life, with no restrictions. :)

[king2005]

I've seen so many people in your position. Remember, what doesn't break you will make you stronger. Also, life is not fair but is full of lessons we can learn from so we don't let them happen again. Chalk this up as one of those experiences and in the meantime start develping your own goals. Work on making yourself stronger and independent.

I'm not saying it's easy, just there is life after a relationship and you have the power to use this experience for your benefit. See this as a kick start to a new path. What do you want to do with your life? Where do you want to be in 2, 5, 10 years from now? Start developing a plan and setting yourself some short and long term goals. Once you start focussing your energies on your current life, rather than on something that was in the past, new ideas and paths will open up. Focus on the positive, since the negative thoughts will just drain you.

Remember, right now you have a job and a place to live. You can do anything you want with the rest of your life, with no restrictions. :)

Thanks for the kind words... I'm just over stressed as this will be my 3rd week late... I didn't notice being late as I had other things on my mind & couldn't remember when I moved out. Tom told me how long I have been out for & that makes this week being the 3rd week I'm late...

I don't know what to do. I can't go to the Dr. as I'll have to miss several hours of work & I cannot afford any missed time. Not wasting $ on those cheap pee on me tests at the pharmacy as they didn't work for my friends or sister. If I'm still late by the end of the month (I PRAY I'm not) I don't know what to do except to call my dad... & I don't know how to tell Rob... As I had a scare not too long ago, he seemed ok, but not impresed...

If I am, I know I can live with it, its Rob's reaction I'm scared of... ugg didn't think my life could get any worse after learning that Rob was cheating on me & useing me...

[JenBKR]

Could you maybe try one of the home tests? Some of them are supposed to be really good, maybe it depends on what brand you use. The EPT (or Error Proof Test) is supposed to be one of the best, I think it may cost a few dollars more but it might be worth it if you can find out for sure. If you are, what do you think Rob will say/do?

[king2005]

Could you maybe try one of the home tests? Some of them are supposed to be really good, maybe it depends on what brand you use. The EPT (or Error Proof Test) is supposed to be one of the best, I think it may cost a few dollars more but it might be worth it if you can find out for sure. If you are, what do you think Rob will say/do?

Well I have to go to shoppers tonight anyway.. I'll see if I can find the EPT (not looking forward to it)...

I really don't know what Rob will do if I am. I think I'll avoid telling Rob until I'm too far gone (like 6-7 months) or if he spots me.. I know I promissed to tell him if it ever happed when I first met him, but he also said he wouldn't cheat & when I asked him when he ditched me he said there wasn't another girl, so... I'll tell Tom right away, as I know he'll help me out big time (hes like a brother to me). I'll tell my dad (don't want to tell him at all) & hope I don't get yelled at (he wont be mean to me, he'll just freakout & say how I need to lawyer up, & swear about Rob & other things)...

I don't want to be carring, but I do in a way (I wanted to start a family this summer & get married)

[JenBKR]

At least you have a good support system in your dad and Tom (and us!). I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hopefully you'll be able to find out soon one way or another. It kind of sounds like maybe part of you wants to be pregnant. I know it can be scary though, so many things in life can be scary, but you have been through this much already, you can get through this too :)

[moosmom]

Remember, right now you have a job and a place to live. You can do anything you want with the rest of your life, with no restrictions

Think of the possibilities!!! I always thought I was nothing without a man. It took me years to realize I'm my own best friend cuz I'm always around when I need me. :p

[king2005]

At least you have a good support system in your dad and Tom (and us!). I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hopefully you'll be able to find out soon one way or another. It kind of sounds like maybe part of you wants to be pregnant. I know it can be scary though, so many things in life can be scary, but you have been through this much already, you can get through this too :)


We have been planing on kids for years & this was suppose to be the summer, if Rob made it past his 3 month period with work (we knew he would). We talked about this in Jan :( & when I was having spotting issues a couple months ago he seemed concerned about my health (cancer runs in the family down there) & if i could still have kids & was excited that the dr. said theres a good chance you are preg (I never was told yes or no, I just assumed no as the Dr. didn't say my tests were positive, she only went on about me being Obese, which I'm not, chubby ya but not obese!).. I know I've put on several pounds the past few weeks, but I think its casue of the crappy diet I'm on right now.

[king2005]

Think of the possibilities!!! I always thought I was nothing without a man. It took me years to realize I'm my own best friend cuz I'm always around when I need me. :p


Its not, not having a man around thats bothering me.. I've never been alone, as I was living with my folks before I moved in with Rob. I'm also in a strang city, with no friends & don't know my way around & can't get to everything (Rob wouldn't let me finish my drivers & it expires in July I I don't have a car, I'm sooo screwed for ID)

[moosmom]

Does the State your in have photo ID's as opposed to a driver's license? My daughter can't drive but the State gave her a State issued ID that she uses for check cashing, etc.

I know what it's like to live in a strange city knowing no one. When I moved to Michigan (for what I THOUGHT were all the right reasons) I only knew 4 people. It was tought being so far away from my friends and family. After 3 years of searching for a job, with little or no success, I decided to move back to CT where my friends and family are.

Is there any way you can move back with your family?? I mean, not living WITH them, but just having them around. It'll do wonders for you.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers kiddo. You aren't alone. You've got us here at PT. Don't ever forget that!!

[king2005]

my dad lives in PEI, thats 2000km away :(
If I had a car I'd drive all the way there with my pets & stay there. But it would cost a min, of 1000.00 to get there by car & Rob put me in the poor house (-5000.00 in credit cards, & he spent most of my school money on his stupid guns, so thats an extra -15,000.00, so ya I'm pretty screwed).

I don't think there is any ID for me, I need to be a student to get it. I spent 600-700.00 to get my licence (Rob made me) & I've been trying to get Rob to let me drive for practice, so I can get my Permit & not have to worry.


I was just told That DTSM (driving school) WILL let you rent their car for 1-2hrs & with an instructor for the G Test!!!! I'm gonna call them first thing tomorrow, after I cash my tax money (good by camera) to make a date! YAY!! It'll cost me about 200.00 & hopefully I can drive in this darn city! or I'll get 60.00 from dad to take the bus to Ottawa & do my G test in my home town (I know all the streets & there are no major HWY's )

[zoomer]

Oh, I'm sorry :( Just let him go, it's his loss not yours!

[king2005]

First time I got to speek to Rob in weeks.. Of course it didn't go well & I panicked & told him I'm 3 weeks late.. Didn't go well at all... I hope I'm not!

[JenBKR]

Uh oh, what did he say?

[king2005]

Uh oh, what did he say?

He keeps saying to Abort it if I am. Well he already knows my views on that. So he told me to Adopt it out, once again he already knows my views on that. So he went back to telling me to abort it. He was nothing but a broken record.

He knows how I really feel about about child support. I'm against child support if the father does not want the baby (before its born). After a child is born & he has been the father, then he needs to pay child support.

Since Rob & I are not together & he wants me to abort, then in my books hes not the father & will have nothing to do with it.


The way I see things is that if you get a pet, you are committed to its care, love & happness forever. I feel the sameway about this, I choose not to abort so I am committed to its care, love & happness forever.

That is IF I am preg.

[Alysser]

I am so sorry.:( I hope your life gets back in order as soon as possible.

[Vela]

If you are pregnant, kids are VERY expensive and whether he wants to be a father or not it won't matter, he will still be one. He knew the consequences of how babies are made and chose to take the risks, so he has to assume repsonsibility. If he doesn't want to be a part of the baby's life, that is his loss, but he still owes half of what it costs to raise a baby. If you are pregnant please don't try to take it all on yourself. It's waaay to much for one person to handle if they don't have to, and you know he's the father, if you are, so you don't have to. I understand your feelings of responsibility towards a baby if there is one, and that is great!, but you don't have to do it alone and shouldn't try to take it all on yourself. Even if he never ever sees that baby, he needs to support it, he was there when it was created and he needs to be responsible. If he didn't want a baby he should have taken precautions to avoid it, and deal with the consequences if those precautions didn't work.

I'm so sorry for your situation and finding out those things you did, I know that hurts you all over again, but don't let it cause you to try to carry a burden that heavy all on your own, if it turns out that way. You do need to find out as soon as possible though, so you can gt proper care if that's the case. Good luck to you!

[JenBKR]

Well said Vela, I feel the same way. If you are pregnant, child support is money for the baby, and baby deserves that money. Even if you didn't really need the money from him, you could set up a college account or something like that for the baby.

I am getting way ahead of myself though. You don't know if you are pregnant yet, so don't even worry about what to do if you are at this point, just concentrate on finding out whether or not you are pregnant. We'll get you through this, we can help :)

[king2005]

I'm going to take my friend up on her offer & move in with them. They have kids & own a house, so all will be well. I don't want Rob supporting me in anyway. He'd rather see it dead then alive, so he means nothing to me no it. Hes been remove from the loop & I KNOW he spies on me on PT so I wont be posting the answer for all to see. I will PM only the ones I trust (the ones posting in here so far)

[king2005]

He's freaking out! I'm not posting about this topic where all can read it anymore.

[Jods]

sorry to hear about Rob what an a$$ and what a wierdo for spying on you here, he doesn[t deserve you... Good luck with whatever happens remember I just had a baby in Dec so if you are preggo PM me anytime with any questions or concerns.

[king2005]

sorry to hear about Rob what an a$$ and what a wierdo for spying on you here, he doesn[t deserve you... Good luck with whatever happens remember I just had a baby in Dec so if you are preggo PM me anytime with any questions or concerns.

Thanks, I don't know why, but I've been getting the feeling that he thinks I've been cheating on him & thats why he feels the need to spy. I've never googled over another man, never touched another man & a nother man has never touched me! He's the cheater, not me. Ther eis NO WAY I could cheat on him, I mentally cannot do it. I have a HUGE conscience & it wont let me even think of such things. However it can get crazy about other people & sadly it was right about Rob, he was cheating on me, I was just denying it.

[buttercup132]

Aww hun, what a jerk he is:mad: I hope in a way your not pregnant so you dont have to do this on your own. UGH I absolutly hate men who do that!!!
He's telling you to practicly kill the baby is he like mental? Thats like murder!!!
Gosh I'd hate to see him have any pet on his own...
Sorry to be ssaying those mean things about him but what a %$@#!@ for telling you that and making you go through this on your own! GRRRR if he does see this then you need to grown up be a man and take the responsibilties life comes with!

[king2005]

Aww hun, what a jerk he is:mad: I hope in a way your not pregnant so you dont have to do this on your own. UGH I absolutly hate men who do that!!!
He's telling you to practicly kill the baby is he like mental? Thats like murder!!!
Gosh I'd hate to see him have any pet on his own...
Sorry to be ssaying those mean things about him but what a %$@#!@ for telling you that and making you go through this on your own! GRRRR if he does see this then you need to grown up be a man and take the responsibilties life comes with!


If I am preg. & I would be keeping it, then he did say its his kid & his responsibility blah blah blah.. But I'm sorry! He wants it dead & tossed in the trash. I don't want him to have ANYTHING to do with this kid ("if" I am), nor do I want him in its life! Hes already forfitted the right to be its father in my books, its too late to change, All I needed to hear was I'll support it or kill it & that would be my decission on how he'll be involved & he'll have 0% involvment!! I'm not telling ANYONE the answer when I find out (except through PM), I'm not telling his brother nor my family. My familly will find out if I pop one out & they will have to swear to keep their mouths shut.

I'm not even telling anyone where I'm moving to.. Its far away & thats all anyone needs to know.. However It'll be after summer

[JenBKR]

He's spying on you? Sheesh, he is sure being a jerk (especially since he is the one who cheated!) I really hope that you can get through this ok, seems like so much is happening all at once. If you ever need to talk let me know, I know how things can get to be too much at times. Good luck when you take the test, I will be thinking about you tonight!

[king2005]

He's spying on you? Sheesh, he is sure being a jerk (especially since he is the one who cheated!) I really hope that you can get through this ok, seems like so much is happening all at once. If you ever need to talk let me know, I know how things can get to be too much at times. Good luck when you take the test, I will be thinking about you tonight!

I ran into a snag about the test, I cannot do it until tomorrow. I have to work overtime tonight (tue & thur) so I can get enough $.

But I'll let you know for sure & as soon as I know, casue I think I have to take it first thing in the morning (so that'll be wed.)

[Flatcoatluver]

omg what a jerk. Please keep me updated in pm's! Everybody loves you on here and stay strong, because I know you are!!

[Karen]

You've recently had a lot of stress in your life, so that could account for the missing your period just as much, lots of things can disrupt a women's cycle. We'll keep you in our prayers.

[Jadapit]

Gosh, I'm really sorry you are going through all this stress. That sucks big time how Rob has treated you. :( You seem like a really strong person but stuff like this can get really get a person down. You will be in my thoughts. Hang in there...

[Alysser]

What an A$$! I really hope your life straightens out soon. I can't believe he's actually spying on you! :rolleyes: Please keep me updated with PM's. I want to here all the updates and if there is anyway I can help you I will. I promise. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

[JenBKR]

I ran into a snag about the test, I cannot do it until tomorrow. I have to work overtime tonight (tue & thur) so I can get enough $.

But I'll let you know for sure & as soon as I know, casue I think I have to take it first thing in the morning (so that'll be wed.)

Ok, actually you are right, it is better to do it first thing in the morning. You want to get the most accurate results. I'm leaving work now, so I won't be on again until tomorrow morning, but I will be thinking about you. Let me know, and good luck!

[joanofark]

I never got the time to post, but I saw the other threads, about everything you're going though-- and then i just saw this! I'm terribly sorry this is all happening to you!!

IF, you are pregnat I agree with Buttercup132, Abortion is like.. murder, a baby dies through no fault of it's own. You can PM me the result if you feel comfortable doing so and if you completely trust me-- if not, It's ok, I understand!!

When it seems like you have no support anywhere else, you KNOW you have PT.:)

[lizbud]

You've recently had a lot of stress in your life, so that could account for the missing your period just as much, lots of things can disrupt a women's cycle. We'll keep you in our prayers.


I had a similar thought. Better to know for sure from a Dr. Good luck.

[king2005]

All is well, thank goodness... As soon as I get ownership of my 3 websites & get them up & running, There will be no more contact between Rob & I... We fought a lot today & it wasn't pretty.. but all is well I guess (not use to fighting with him, as we never fought in our relationship).. still feel like crap.

[joycenalex]

jess, i just saw this. i am so sorry for the pain you're going through. karen is right, stress can delay a cycle. if you do try the home pregnancy test, use the first morning urine, most kits suggest it. ((hugs))

[king2005]

jess, i just saw this. i am so sorry for the pain you're going through. karen is right, stress can delay a cycle. if you do try the home pregnancy test, use the first morning urine, most kits suggest it. ((hugs))

Already took it -

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Hope things get better for you sweetie and if that idiot is still spying here this is for you Rob

"you sound like a complete jerk and waste of space and she is better off without you"

[Vela]

Glad to hear that things turned out for the better! Hopefully soon you can have no contact at all with him and just get on with making a new life for yourself without having to deal with him at all. It will be much better for you in the end!

[king2005]

Thanks guys :)

I plan on blocking his IP from my personal websites when & if I can figure out how to get them up. If its possible he'll be blocked at my router aswell (I have NO idea how to work it yet hehe)

Saddly Tom will be blocked for a while, but he can access it from Work.

[Cookiebaker]

Already took it -

So what happened with it???

Keeping you in my thoughts!!!!

[JenBKR]

So what happened with it???

Keeping you in my thoughts!!!!

It was negative :) Probably just stress making her late.

[king2005]

So what happened with it???

Keeping you in my thoughts!!!!


I'm not preggo. I did tell rob, it didn't go well, lots of yelling (from him) & I'm a stupid cow :rolleyes:

I have a sweet supporter talking to me through PM. I feel SOOOOO much better talking to her. Its nice being able to talk to someone & getting great support & help.


I want to thank everyone for being here for me, while I went through hell. I think its 100% over now. I'm just waiting for a few things in the mail from Rob (he'd rather mail me stuff instead of driving the 10k here :rolleyes: ), once I have that & my bike (forgot about that until just now) Its all done, YAY!

I still have Tom to hang out with for now, so all is getting well.

[Muddy4paws]

Hes spying on you? Sounds like someone not over you.. Especially as hes taking time out of his life to spy on you.. In a way its kind of like stalking I guess. Do you want anything to do with him?

Im glad your not pregnant .. no offense but anyone man or woman that says kill a unborn child is worthless to me, They need to face up to responsibility and deal with problems when they occur not take an easy option out.

If you ever need to talk I'm on most days for a chat! Just Pm me :)

[joycenalex]

[QUOTE=king2005].... I did tell rob, it didn't go well, lots of yelling (from him) & I'm a stupid cow :rolleyes:
jess, never for one milisecond think you are a stupid cow. you are valuable, loving and an asset to the world. and rob...PFFFFFFT to you pal

[Lori Jordan]

I feel for you i was 16 and alone and i have struggled all the way through,I am positive things will get better it will be hard the first while but in time you will be over it.And you do not need to be treated like that let him go on you are soooo much better than him....