Teenage pregnancies and the battle to end them...

[Giselle]

I never regarded teenage pregnancies as a serious issue until I received word that a close friend of *my* friend was two months pregnant. This poor girl is only 16/17. She isn't even into her senior year and she was two months along into her pregnancy. She hadn't even entered her final year of high school, and she was about to give birth to another human being. My gawd. I was just so shocked. It makes you wonder, with all this hype about sex ed and birth control and abstinence, what went wrong in our society so that so many girls today are experimenting with their bodies and their lives? I know PLENTY more other young young teenagers who are having oral and "normal" intercourse regularly. In fact, a former classmate of mine began this risky lifestyle at the age of 13. She hadn't even entered high school, for what it's worth. I'm just so disturbed and worried for these girls. Don't they know what they're doing? :(

The 16/17 year old girl I was talking about had her abortion just last week. She is so depressed, so tired, and regretful. What are these girls doing? Why aren't they receiving education regarding this issue and why aren't they learning? *sighs* I guess this was more of a rant than anything else, but I had to get this off my chest.

[Jessika]

Its so sad, it really is. A part of me feels sorry for them, but another part of me doesn't, because they know the risks they were taking. And I will come out and say it -- its stupid. Regardless of age, unless you are emotionally, mentally, and financially ready and willing to accept ALL consequences of the action, don't do it. Period.

[sasvermont]

I think we are failing our young folks by not educating them enough .....especially about birth control, the consequences of their actions, the child at risk now, etc. etc. .... life as a parent.

I am an old PTer and have seen many young girls and boys survive the birth event and live happily ever after, both as a mother/father and as the child....and then there are those who don't do well at all.

Either way, education, as far as I am concerned, is the answer. Keep 'em busy, interested and educated. Many teenagers just have nothing else happening in their lives.

We fail miserably when it comes to educating our youth.

With lots of love, family support and guidance, many will do just fine. I always hope for the best.

Here's to all those folks who made it!

[animal_rescue]

Most of the girls I know have sex and their all on birth control, A couple of them aren't even having sex yet and are still getting put on birth control. I'm considering doing it but I don't see the point as I don't have a boyfriend and don't plan on getting one anytime soon.. My friends said their moms all know about it and one friend said "Sure, you have sex without your mom knowing but it's so much easier just to tell them" Then her mom took her in for a papsmear :p Gosh that was so funny. She refered to it as the most awkard moment of her life.

[k9krazee]

It is very sad :( My cousin, for example, is 22 years old...dropped out of highschool her freshmen year, is currently unemployed, struggling to make rent every month, is single and on top of that has kids. She knew very well what she was doing and in that respect I don't feel bad for her, but you'd think she'd learn after having one? Nope! She JUST had her THIRD child...oldest just turned four not too long ago, she has a two year old and now a newborn (all boys too!). She complains constantly and has no life anylonger, besides caring for the boys. Just watching her struggle is enough to make me NEVER want to go through that!

[lizbud]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do
better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.

[Vela]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.


I wasn't going to reply to this thread but I agree with you 100%. Parents are so worried about being their child's friend they don't parent like they should. Things that sholdn't be accepted are accepted too often and limits aren't set they way they should be in a lot of cases.

[lute]

it's really sad how many teens are getting pregnant. when i moved back to my home town last summer i was shocked to see a lot of my friends from elm. school had bellies. most of them either the father left or they don't know who the father is. :( a frind of mine is 19 and just had her 5th abortion last year!!! :mad: :( she shows NO feelings about it at all. she just acts like it's another bump in her road of FUN.

i like the origonal idea that God had...wait till yer married to have sex.

[.sarah]

That is so weird that you posted this thread because I just found out about 30 minutes ago that one of my friends is pregnant. She has been fooling around for a while and, quite frankly, I'm surprised it took her so long to get pregnant. This one time she figured she didn't need birth control. She decided not to have an abortion. She's 16 now, and will be 17 by the time the baby comes.

My other friend gave birth to a baby girl on Valentines day. I think she planned this, though. Her and the father are engaged. She was 17 when she got pregnant and 18 when she gave birth.

Birth control, birth control, birth control!!!

[K9soul]

Birth control is better than nothing but it is not the ultimate answer. Seems so many people feel that as long as they have birth control they have free license to not act responsibly. Birth control is never 100% failsafe, and does nothing to prevent AIDS, hepatitis C and other STDs, nor does it teach someone to make responsible decisions and not get themselves into dangerous situations. I've typed plenty of medical reports where a woman/teen on birth control conceived anyway. It is not as rare as you might think.

I would stress... teach responsibility, responsibility, responsibility!

[Vela]

Well said K9Soul!!! It's not just about pregnancy...although that is a huge factor, what about AIDS? Did everyone forget about it? I guess herpes is not a big deal now since they have a drug you can take to help with outbreaks...Or maybe a little hepatitis C or gonorrhea would be fun. Or maybe just for fun try out some genital warts, that often leads to cervical cancer even in teens and early 20s and then you dont get to have kids when you are older since you sometimes end up having hysterectomies to remove the cancer or having so much of your cervix removed that you can't support a future pregnancy. Birth control is great, but that's not a free liscense to just sleep around and do whatever sounds fun, kids nowdays don't seem to realize that dangers and sex is just as much now as a handshake. It's scary. And it's true, birth control doesn't always work, and it sure doesn't prevent those other diseases. I know it sounds fun but it's not worth throwing away your future, for those who engage in it so frivolously! I get so scared for kids nowdays, it's really a shame. Many of them see nothing wrong with just having sex for the heck of it. It's too bad=(

[popcornbird]

I hope I won't offend anyone with my post, but this is something that really bothers me, and I do believe I know the reason teenage pregnancy is sooooooo common in Western society.

The reason...

Lack of education? Perhaps part of the problem...

Lack of parental guidance? Pretty big part of the problem...

Lack of religious or moral values?...pretty major problem in my opinion.

Too much socialization with members of the opposite sex in explicit clothing? MAJOR PROBLEM...

The fact is, no matter how much you educate kids about sex and the consequences, it is a NATURAL thing, a natural urge, and the trigger is NOT education, or lack of education. In fact, being constantly talked to about sex could trigger curiosity about it, and the wish to experiment. The trigger, and main trigger is WAY too much opposite sex mingling. In societies where men and women are not so 'free' and 'open' with each other, this problem is not nearly as common.

Face it. When there are half naked girls around boys in schools, cafes, restaurants, malls, magazines, EVERYWHERE...and there are boys out there who follow lust and desire and have no moral values, what is to be expected? How can a society give boys and girls the full freedom to be alone together, do anything together, expose their bodies to each other, and then, expect nothing to happen? If there are boys and girls together, and those boys and girls have no moral values or no proper upbringing, sooner or later, they are going to be involved in the act. When these girls and boys are encouraged to go to proms, dance together, hug and kiss each other...my gosh...doesn't anyone know how human emotions work? When young boys and girls are encouraged to interact, show each other affection, dance...only a strange person would have no feelings or desires develop from that. Once youngsters begin desiring sex and have the full opportunity to be with members of the opposite gender, that's calling for trouble. Our society has a major lack of moral character in general, and instead of being discouraged, it is encouraged. It is not only the open sex issue, but people in society, youngsters in general often use foul language, have no respect for others, and have hardly any manners at all. The problem needs to be nipped at the roots, not at the leaves. When a leaf or stem is cut off a plant, it just grows back. Until the problem is cut at the roots, nothing is going to change. Until boys and girls are taught to refrain from each other and stay in the boundaries, nothing's going to change. If boys and girls are encouraged to dress in exposing clothes, sit close to each other, hold hands, kiss, hug, dance, be close friends, and do anything and everything together, their parents shouldn't go crying when their daughter announces her pregnancy. The problem is the lack of moral values in society. People LIKE to stay outside of marriage these days so that they can fool around and not have a commitment with one person. Married couples so often break their commitment and fool around with other people. The result is the destruction of the family. Destruction of the family is destruction of society, as the bases and roots of a good society are good, close, committed families. Where have the family values gone today? Where have moral values gone? Really...the lack of moral values in this world often makes me sick, and it really isn't a problem that hard to solve. The only problem is people LIKE to expose themselves in ways that WILL lead to trouble. Like it or not, being too close to the opposite gender is the root of the problem. When people don't follow the commandments of their Creator, they will be in for trouble no matter what. Sex is supposed to be something you do with the one special person you've committed your LIFE to...not something to do with a random 'anyone'. Yuck.

Come to think of it, having a sexual relationship with the one special person in your life that you're committed with, starting a family together, blooming together, sharing a bond of love is probably one of the MOST beautiful parts of life that God has created. Something that can bring a person such joy is so abused these days, to the point that its results in society has become a big problem. People who do things the wrong way have to face the consequences, and sadly, when something wrong becomes so accepted in society, then it is the entire society that will have to face the consequences of the matter. People think using birth control or condoms makes irresponsible sex safe. In my opinion, that is nothing but BS. Many people who use BC STILL get pregnant. Its not a guarantee. Even if one DOESN'T get pregnant, having sex makes a person VERY close to each other. When that closeness is not a committed bond, once it breaks (and it DOES most of the time), it causes great emotional pain. Emotional pain is sometimes worse than physical pain. Why do things that would hurt you in the end? Parents need to discourage girls from dressing in exposing clothing, and they need to discourage both boys and girls from being too involved with each other. Until that happens, nothing is going to change. The root of the problem is boys and girls mingling too freely. In families and societies where free opposite gender mingling is prevented, these problems hardly exist...and people who live such lifestyles still experience love, relationships, and probably a much deeper, truer commitment with their partners than people who fool around and have relationships with many, many people throughout their young years.

JMHO on this topic that often upsets me.

[Lori Jordan]

My friend works in the Maturnity ward in Brockville and she has said many many times,There seems to be more teenagers having children then adults.The sad thing is most of these girls end up on Welfare that is what bugs me the most.

[.sarah]

Birth control is better than nothing but it is not the ultimate answer. Seems so many people feel that as long as they have birth control they have free license to not act responsibly. Birth control is never 100% failsafe, and does nothing to prevent AIDS, hepatitis C and other STDs, nor does it teach someone to make responsible decisions and not get themselves into dangerous situations. I've typed plenty of medical reports where a woman/teen on birth control conceived anyway. It is not as rare as you might think.

I would stress... teach responsibility, responsibility, responsibility!
This is true, though they are teaching responsibility in schools (or at least the ones I attended). Parents are a different matter, some just want to be their child's friend as already stated in this thread.

The problem is most teenagers just don't care. Birth control is as responsible as you can be without being abstinent, and most teens don't even seem to consider abstinence as a choice.

Not too many people any more wait for marrige. Out of all my teen friends, I know of one other person who is abstinent. Everyone else uses birth control. My friend that is abstinent has religious beliefs and is waiting until marrige. I have moral values and am waiting until I am old enough and financially ready to support a baby if birth control fails. Not too many teens think before they act upon this anymore, and they don't see any wrong until they are pregnant or have an STD.

[K9soul]

You make some good observations and points Pops. Everything about Western society promotes sexuality, from clothing to television shows/commercials, movies, so on and so forth. It's a huge marketing area for everything from alcohol, clothing, makeup and beauty products to cars, perfumes and all manner of things. I remember when I was in a class studying about marketing and the things commercials and advertisers use most to sell their products, and sexual appeal was one of the top ones. It could be really subtle (the way a camera rolls across the sleek lines of a "sexy" sports car), or obvious (showing a guy drinking beer surrounded by scantily clad women).

Our society is focused on external looks and attracting the opposite sex. The things you mentioned all do contribute to making a physical relationship more tempting and desirable, and like Sarah said, a lot of them just don't really care or consider the consequences until they happen, if then. When I was in school if you weren't on the dating scene and having sex or talking about it, you were a misfit/outcast. I got ridiculed and mocked for not being on the dating scene and part of the cool crowd.

I remember when I was a teen and the big movie craze for all the girls was to watch Dirty Dancing, but my mom wouldn't let me watch it. I wasn't too happy about that but I accepted it. A few months ago it was on TV and I got curious because I had never ended up watching it before, and I decided that night to watch it. I certainly can understand my mom's reluctance after seeing it, that would about stir up any young teenage girl's desire. If that were the type of thing I had watched a lot of at that age, I'm sure I'd have been MUCH more eager to experience it, longing to have those feelings.

Pops is right, it's a lot to expect of someone, especially a younger, inexperienced person, to be surrounded by all of that and restrain from acting on it. It's a natural human instinct and eventually it's bound to win out over logic.

[sirrahved]

My personal theory is that it is talked about so much that it becomes appealing. When I was sixteen I wanted to wait until marriage. The friends that I had chosen at that point were already sexually active. I went to a party with them and put myself into a position where I was raped. My friends were all proud of me for "finally" losing my virginity.

In school we started sex ed in 7th grade. Sex is on tv, in the movies, etc. If you have raging hormones and hear about sex about a billion times a day, it's just a natural consequence of our sinful natures.

I plan on not allowing my children to attend sex ed classes. I would much rather teach them on my own that sex is an amazing, beautiful thing shared between a husband and wife, and that when experienced outside of this bond, can cause pain, disease, unwanted pregnancies, and heartache.

Just my humble opinion.

[Jessika]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do
better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.
Yeah that's how my mom is, which is why I am SO surprised my sister(s) and I turned out the way we did. My youngest sister just turned 12, so she has yet to go through all of this, but you can bet that if my parents start slacking I will NOT be afraid to be the "bad guy". Its not my place, but I do NOT want my sister to screw up. My mom is too worried about us being mad at her and just wants to be our friend, well it doesn't work that way because then we feel we can take advantage of and walk all over our parents. Sure, sex is ok to have now at younger and younger ages! :rolleyes: Parents don't care, shoot they will take you to get birth control and protection (which, don't get me wrong, is better than having no protection at all, but they should REALLY be sitting down and talking with their children about it, and offer to help get protection if they are adament about doing it. My fiance's sister is like that, very manipulative and so disrespectful to her parents that they ended up kicking her out at age 17. But that is a whole other story). But to sum it up, education is a major part, parental supervision and involvement in their children's lives is an even bigger part! It all boils down to the parents nowdays and being too afraid to parent/discipline children!

Anyway that's all I have to say about that, because I don't want to start writing a novel (as I have already lol).

[Vela]

Hahah it's hard not to write a novel about it=) Pops has a lot of good points. I also discourage my children from being friends with the opposite sex. I go out of my way to make my home open to all of their friends as a gathering place, I take them to and from friends houses so they get to hang out with friends all of the time, but i discourage opposite sex friends because I just don't think it's necessary to have that at their age and only leads to trouble. I also am very picky about the clothing my kids wear. My oldest is 13 and she doesn't wear short shorts, or short skirts, or tank tops. She isn't allowed to show her belly or walk around looking like a young prostitue, which is how many in society dress nowdays. My daughter actually LIKES to be covered, because it's what she's been taught since she was a baby. She doesn't even ask for clothing that doesn't cover her up. She wears capris or longer skirts and she can wear tank tops with jackets or other shirts over them but she doesn't feel like she needs to show off her body to the world. Girls run around mostly naked and then get offended if someone wants them to cover up! Boys aren't much better. I can't change society, but I can try to help my kids get through these teen years as easily as possible with a strong beleif in God (that's how our family works, but not everyone beleives in that), strong beleif in being moral and keeping ourselves more covered than not, and we have discussed sex but not the literal aspects of it, and why it's important to wait. My children also will not be attending the school's sex classes because I beleive they are inappapropriate. Kids nowdays are bombarded with sex from the time they are small children. In fact I saw a billboard, HUGE, on my way down the highway showing a pair of very large breasts and a bra...it was an advertisement for plastic surgery. It's VERy hard nowdays to try to prevent our kids from seeing it all around them but we limit TV, limit the movies and things they are allowed to watch and do the best we can. I just wish society wasn't so gung ho to force the sex issue on kids at such a young age and expect them to understand the ramifications of it. Anymore the exception is the virgin, and those are ridiculed by their peers. That is horribly sad. I think it's parent's responsbility, but I also think it's society's responsbility as a whole to stop promoting sex like it's nothing, like everyone should just go out and sleep around. Not only is is degrading and damaging, but it's also dangerous. I actually agree with you about most of what you said Pops, it's a sad thing to see and rally doesn't seem like such a hard thing to fix if everyone would stop acting like it's okay to just have sex with everyone and have one night stands, etc. etc. and if people would teach their kids how to avoid dangerous situations that get them raped or hurt or having sex before they are really ready.

[Pam]

Sex is shoved at kids (and adults for that matter) in an *in your face* kind of way through advertising, TV sitcoms, videos, movies, etc., etc. There is a lack of spiritual nourishment in the homes today and I blame that in a major way. Nowadays most kids come from families where there is no one home when they come home after school. A girl in my daughter's high school had not one but two children by the time she graduated high school. When she came home from school the boy would come over and well..... :rolleyes:

I am probably an old fuddy duddy but I can remember the days when sex was saved for marriage. Sure there was the occasional pregnant teen when I was in high school but most kids were just not having sex at all. We didn't have sex flaunted in our faces everywhere we looked. TV shows were of the Ozzie and Harriet and Leave it to Beaver variety (see I told you I was old) :o and my mom was home when I got there. Sure I didn't grow up with the *things* that kids have today with both parents working, but it was a happier time for sure. I feel sorry for kids growing up today. So much stuff is being thrown at them at an age when they should be enjoying just being kids.

[Lori Jordan]

I agree what all you have said 100%.I myself did not wait until marriage i was 16 when i started,and i cannot say that i was forced to do so my mother and father were very strict,I had lots of friends so it wasnt a attention getter i really have no answers for why i started so young,But now you see 13 year old having children it is crazy.I agree with the parents wanting to be the kids friend ,I try to inforce things but at the same time i want my daughters to know that they can come to me with any problem they might be having.All you can do is raise your kids the best you can..That is the only thing you can do.If they make the wrong choices we also have to deal with that.

[CagneyDog]

root of the problem is boys and girls mingling too freely

So lets keep boys on one side of countries and girls in the other? Man oh man, I'm shocked by some of the replies on here. Although dressing skimpy is a turnoff, I don't think it promotes losing your virginity or having sex. Wearing short skirts isn't "just asking" for someone to seduce you. It's all about self morals, and self respect. People can wear skimpy clothing, have boyfriends, and be friends with males if they respect themselves, and have strong morals. Parenting has little to do with it, sure they need to educate but deep down every kid knows the downsides to teenage sex and deep down people know that absitence is the safe way to go until your older. Education isn't what is needed. Parents can say all they want and people will go against it, I know plenty of people that couldn't careless what their parents say. IMO it's all about the person. If you have morals than you can realize what you are getting yourself into. Putting the blame on parents, media etc. isn't right. When it comes down to it, it's your decision.

Ps: To answer the question, I am not in this side because I dress skimpy or any of that. As a matter of fact, I don't at all. It's just an opinion

[Lady's Human]

Parenting has little to do with it,


IMO it's all about the person. If you have morals than you can realize what you are getting yourself into.

And who instills morals in a child?

Last time I checked it was parents.

[CagneyDog]

And who instills morals in a child?

Last time I checked it was parents.

Last time I checked people without parents or with very litty parenting support still have morals. Morals are self obtained. I have morals that my parents don't.

[Lady's Human]

Cagney,

It is rare to find someone without good parenting who has good morals. The ones who do have good morals have normally picked them up from other places, like church, good role models at school, etc.

[CagneyDog]

Cagney,

It is rare to find someone without good parenting who has good morals. The ones who do have good morals have normally picked them up from other places, like church, good role models at school, etc.

Perhaps from your experiences, however that's a generalized statement..

[Vela]

Cagney,

It is rare to find someone without good parenting who has good morals. The ones who do have good morals have normally picked them up from other places, like church, good role models at school, etc.

I beleive this to be true. It's not impossible for someone who comes from an immoral or less moral background to have morals themselves, but the above statement holds true. It may be sound generalized but it's much more true than not. Perhaps you're the exception Cagney, rather than the rule. I am glad to hear that you have made those choices for yourself though, that is a really great thing.

[Muddy4paws]

My opinion on this subject is from my personal experience, I'm 18 years old and got taught "sex education" at school from the age of 11, but it wasnt actually sex education as in birth control and explaining about what happens, it was more about changes to the body and periods etc.

We learned about a bit more about it one 30 mins lesson (Aged 16) I mean come on half my school had lost it by then and yeah mistakes did happen yeah and even in that lesson it wasnt a graphic lesson it was diagrams on the board of your insides, I mean I wasn't expecting a live show or anything of that sort but I really thought it could of been abit more realistic, we watched a video on it and it was just so fake everyone laughed through it so no one took anything in.

You want to know when we had that demostration of putting a ..... on a bloke? Aged 16. One of my last lessons at school and to be honest for most people in my school it was just too late!

I can honestly say that most things I have learned about sex education have come from magazines and personal experiences but I seriously think that sex education needs to be stepped up quickly to prevent more teenage pregnancys.


Another thing about clinics and hospitals.. I hated going in for birth control and being looked down their noses at you for being under 18 they would make you feel so ashamed and I hated it .. So to be honest I dont blame them teens who try to avoid them places.. I wouldn't of gone back if I hadnt of had someone to come with me, They dont treat you with respect or anything but I mean come on if teens are willing to go to a place like that, Its nerveracking enough without some moody old cow looking down her nose and being snobby about everything. I know some teenagers are just down right rude to people but not all of us are and yes I do have manners and I've been taught to use them so I expected some back ...

This subject just really gets to me, I think if sex education was more down to earth instead of diagrams of your insides :rolleyes: It would get through to alot more teenagers.

I can tell you one thing though, When I done childcare at college I was made to watch a video of a mother giving birth (twice ) believe me the camera was focused in a certain position! :o I know for a fact that it certainly put me off of having sex for a long time!

[Jessika]

Last time I checked people without parents or with very litty parenting support still have morals. Morals are self obtained. I have morals that my parents don't.
Morals begin to be instilled at day one, the day you are born. Even if the person is not your parent, or biological parent, they will still have a figure that they look up to who will, knowingly or unknowingly, instill morals upon them. It does not have to necessarily be a parent but a figure they look up to.

[sasvermont]

When I referred to education, education, education, earlier in the posting process - I was referring to a general education, not just sex education. I think that, in the US, we fail to education our children properly and as a result, generation after generation fall in to the welfare, social services that were originally put in place for emergency circumstances not to sustain people for years. "Let the government programs take care of me" syndrome. With a good education, you can earn a living, contribute to society and not live off society. That is not to say that every uneducated person lives off society, but it is the education that keeps you interested, informed, productive and off the welfare rolls, or having your parents support you, for the most part. Are there exceptions? ... Surely, but without at least an high school diploma, you are looking at minimum wage jobs.

How can you support a family on minimum wage? Even then, with a high school diploma, if you don't have any direction in life...which is typical of someone 16 years old, how the hell do you expect to rear and support a child. This falls in to "what were you thinking" when you had sex without regard to birth control or the consequences of pregnancy?

I just don't get it. I think many parents fail their children in this regard. Parents and adults set the standards. Maybe some parents fail their children because they (the parents) never learned how to parent.....maybe their parents were poorly prepared as well. Who knows.

Lots people make the best out of teenage pregnancy and the baby and the teeenager grow up at the same time. It is a tough life, at best and one that could have been so different with good parenting and a good moral foundation....religion, I suppose so, although I don't think you have to be religious to have morals and be responsible and see a real future for yourself.

I am sure many of these comments will make some folks cringe. Some of the earlier posts made me cringe.

[beeniesmom]

So lets keep boys on one side of countries and girls in the other? Man oh man, I'm shocked by some of the replies on here. Although dressing skimpy is a turnoff, I don't think it promotes losing your virginity or having sex. Wearing short skirts isn't "just asking" for someone to seduce you. It's all about self morals, and self respect. People can wear skimpy clothing, have boyfriends, and be friends with males if they respect themselves, and have strong morals. Parenting has little to do with it, sure they need to educate but deep down every kid knows the downsides to teenage sex and deep down people know that absitence is the safe way to go until your older. Education isn't what is needed. Parents can say all they want and people will go against it, I know plenty of people that couldn't careless what their parents say. IMO it's all about the person. If you have morals than you can realize what you are getting yourself into. Putting the blame on parents, media etc. isn't right. When it comes down to it, it's your decision.

Ps: To answer the question, I am not in this side because I dress skimpy or any of that. As a matter of fact, I don't at all. It's just an opinion


I have to agree with you 100%.
I was laughing at a lot of the replies here.
It's different for every person.

Growing up, most of my friends were males.

I didn't have sex until I was almost 20, and it happened 4 years into an important relationship.

I always wore what I wanted and never got raped because of it.

Parenting has little to do with it: my parents never had "the talk" with me.

Education: Never attended a sex ed class.

I especially agree on this: deep down every kid knows the downsides to teenage sex and deep down people know that absitence is the safe way to go until your older.

[K9soul]

Whether you disagree with some people's thoughts or not, I think it's rude to state you were laughing at people's replies. Everyone has different viewpoints on these issues and some really took the time (and risk of getting flamed) to put their beliefs down.

There is obviously a reason why teen pregnancy is so much more prevalent in the western world than in other places. You can't just claim those in another country are simply born with more morals than those in this country. I don't believe people are born with morals and ethics. They are learned, one way or another, through life's circumstances and the people we are around. Sometimes we develop our morals based on family members we do NOT want to be like, sometimes vice versa. No one ever said people who dress scantily will get raped or that they are asking for it. No one ever said if you wear tank tops and have guy friends you WILL 100% have sex. Heck a lot of my best friends were guys as a younger person. We were simply saying it ups the CHANCES, it ups the TEMPTATION for hormones and emotions to rule a person.

[sasvermont]

K9soul, Sorry, I must not have read these threads as thoroughly as I had thought. I didn't notice the laughing part. Maybe they selected the wrong word...... This is most certainly not a laughing matter.

P. S. Someone PM'd me with a pointer about the "laughing"..... I suspect that comment was made in a general way .... an expression, if you will, and not a direct belly laugh, as in making fun. But hey, I could be wrong. Some people have a very different sense of humor .....

[lady_zana]

Whether you disagree with some people's thoughts or not, I think it's rude to state you were laughing at people's replies.

I agree with you. I have been reading this board but have refrained from making a reply because this is one of those subjects that if you polled one hundred people, you'd have one hundred answers. However, laughing at someone else's beliefs is uncalled for. I'll admit to being surprised to some of the answers and a littled shocked but I wouldn't laugh at them because I don't want people laughing at me over my ideas about teenage pregnancy or any other matter that may be discussed.

[finn's mom]

I like the fact that this thread has stayed relatively calm, with the few occassional slip ups. I've read it all, and, there are a lot of good points, and most of them are right. The thoughts may not apply to everyone all of the time, but, anyway. This is a good thread. Thanks for posting it. I hope we can keep it educational, and, not let it resort to downright ugliness. :)

[lizbud]

What if the poster had used the word smiled instead of laughed ?
I really don't think she meant to make fun of anyone's feelings. I did
have to smile myself at someone's idea that it's possible to spring from
the womb equipped with a fully formed set of morals & principals.

Most of us have to rightly give credit to some adult role models in their
lfes whether it's parents, teachers. or another adults.

[K9soul]

What if the poster had used the word smiled instead of laughed ?


I probably wouldn't have thought as much of it. It wouldn't be the first time I've taken something too much to heart, however I just felt it was an unnecessary comment to make, and when I read it over, I still tend to get the feeling it was not really meant in a kindly manner. Again, I could be wrong, and I apologize if I am. I don't like singling anyone out and I sure try not to jump to conclusions but this time it hit a nerve in me.

[catnapper]

Oy, what a debate. A month ago my answer might have been different than it is today - as you know, my 18 year old step daughter is pregnant... she turned 18 last month.

As a parent, I know we talked about sex. We talked about what happens with sex. We talked til blue in our faces about disease, poregnancy, and other issues that might pop up over teenage sex... but ya know what? She went and had sex anyway. And you know something else? Its not new! Waaayyy abck in the day of old, girls were married off at sexual maturity (ie: 13) and had many babies before they entered their 20s. My great-great-grandmother had MANY abortions in the early part of this century. Her first was when she was 14. How my grandmother came into the world is a mystery we can't figure out since she did NOT want kids and never tried ot hide that fact, even from her own baby girl :(

Fast forward to the 60's, 70's. Girls still got married young, but they waited til they graduated highschool. MANY girls DID get pregnant but they disappeared to vacation in some far off land (aka, a special hospital for pregnant girls, only you told your friends about a marvelous trip you took) and then they were forced to give the baby up for adoption. Many had abortions... they either had the baby and gave it up for adoption out of family pressure and life went on as if she never had the kid, or she aborted it (which was done in shame and secrecy).

The 80's came about and AIDS hit. OMG, I remember being in highschool when AIDS hit the world. People were afraid to kiss in cars for fear they'd get AIDS. But did it stop teens from having sex and getting pregnant? NOPE. MY best friend in highschool's cousin had a baby the summer before her senior year. Another friend had 2 abortions. My friend went to a different school to hide her pregnancy and school refused to let her very pregnant belly to walk the halls of school.

The 90's were pretty much the same, but many girls started to let hte pregnant girl attend regular school

Now today.... same old same old. No more girls are getting pregnant than before. If it seems higher, its because
1) there's more people in the world, therefor more girls ot end up pregnant... its still the same percentage
2) its more accepted and no more hiding in shame and secrecy
3) the girls are staying in school and not being forced to attend some secret place where only "bad" and pregnant girls go.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I had said I would not enter into this debate and I won't. I have long said, if I did not have to work for a living, I would help girls and young women see that there is more to life that can be achieved when you wait to have children until you are more settled in life. So I have very strong feelings on the subject.

But I have to question your statement Kim. I do not believe there are no more girls getting pregnant (as a percentage) than in the past. Fear is a very powerful motivator....as is peer pressure and social acceptance. I was in high school and college in the 70's. We knew who got pregnant...who went off to those places you refer to and who had abortions. (Abortions were legal in New York in the 70's.)

Anyway....fear of the shame, fear of our parents, fear of social ostracism were powerful motivators in the decision NOT to have sex and if you did NOT to become pregnant.

To say it has always been as it is today.... well, I'd like to see the statistics on that!

[CagneyDog]

I did
have to smile myself at someone's idea that it's possible to spring from
the womb equipped with a fully formed set of morals & principals.
.


Your post gave me a "smile" to as I think you just put words in my mouth!

[popcornbird]

First, I agree with K9soul. There is no need to laugh at anyone else's opinions. We all see things in different ways, in the light of different beliefs. I grew up with a completely different moral upbringing than probably most of you, and thus, see male/female 'friendship'/'excessive socialization' in a completely different way. I have never had a 'boy' friend. I have never excessively socialized with members of the opposite sex after maturity. I have never talked to or socialized with men beyond necessity. I am always covered in modest, loose, long clothing when around men who are not related to me. I am 20 years old, married now, and love my husband tremendously. Honestly, I think the BEST thing that ever happened to me was keeping myself chaste before marriage, and then experiencing love and emotions when it is SERIOUS, and in a committed relationship. I haven't missed out on anything in life by limiting my social activities with members of the opposite sex, covering my body in front of them, etc. As all of you, I am a human being who feels love, emotions, attachment, desires, etc. We all have these feelings. WHY waste these wonderful feelings over men that are not meant for us? Over men that we won't be with for the rest of our lives? Over relationships that come and go? A sexual relationship is *supposed to be* a relationship that is sincere, committed, loving, and one that starts a new family unit. In starting a family, t doesn't HAVE TO mean having kids, but when you get married and have a sincere, committed relationship with the one special person in your life, it is starting a new family of your own, even if it is just the couple. This is such a beautiful, close relationship like no other, and something that should really, be a bond between two people with no fooling around, no cheating, and no 'part time relationships'. A sexual relationship is not supposed to be part-time. Its not supposed to be insincere. Its not supposed to be something that comes and goes with any random person. It is a relationship based on TRUST, LOVE, COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING, MERCY, SINCERITY, and COMMITMENT between a man and a woman. Its not a game. Its not something to throw away. Gosh, if one fools around with 10 people, and after that, finds the person they will marry, losing your virginity to all those people takes away all the fun and joy that a newly married couple is supposed to experience together. Nothing is more beautiful than a virgin woman and a virgin man coming together in marriage, and experiencing the new relationship together for the very first time. There is no comparing with previous partners. No 'she was more beautiful than you'. No 'he was more fun than you'. Starting together in a committed relationship for the first time is BEAUTIFUL. Throwing away such a wonderful part of human life to someone who doesn't even CARE for you, is well...just ridiculous in my opinion.

Now, I was talking about my feelings based on my beliefs, AND on my experience. I have strong feelings about this mostly because of my religious beliefs, and also from what I have seen in the world. Teenage pregnancies in the old days, in a 'marriage', is something I cannot compare to 'teenage pregnancies' that come from fooling around in insincere relationships. I am not 'for' teenage marriages in today's world...kids are not mature enough AT ALL for that nowadays, but I still think being in a COMMITTED relationship, versus a 'teenage hormonal desire temporary relationship' is much better, despite the age.

Why is it that America is the country where teenage pregnancies are MOST common?? Why isn't it as common in other countries? It is something to think about. Teens in other countries are human beings, just like teens here. They have emotions. They have feelings. They have hormones. They have lust. They have desire. The difference is what is encouraged in other societies, versus what is encouraged here.

For example, around here, kids are ENCOURAGED to go to proms, dance, kiss, hug, and enjoy being with members of the opposite sex. Kids who DON'T go, or don't have a partner to go with are ridiculed, looked upon as losers, and if you're a virgin, of course you're the biggest loser in the world. Several decades ago, it would've been the youngster who was fooling around and lost his/her virginity too early that would be looked down upon, but today, it is the opposite. Why? Why is it encouraged? If you look at the whole picture, there is NOTHING good that comes out of it! For a night of fun, teens today are risking getting pregnant and having a child to care for when they are not ready, won't have the father to help with the upbringing of the child, and certainly, not even stable-minded enough to be a parent. In the end, the person they had 'fun' with isn't a part of their life anymore either. The innocent babies that result from this are so often neglected, or denied the childhood and proper upbringing they deserve. There are exceptions where the grandparents will open their hearts and homes to the child and raise him/her with love, but it is SO common for these children to be neglected. We all know what becomes of neglected children when they grow up.

On top of that, what is better? A night of fun, or a little patience, and then having an entire life of 'fun' with a loving, committed partner? Some of you, or perhaps most of you may think my views on this are a little extreme, but in my opinion, it is just the honest answer to the question of this thread. "Teenage pregnancies and the battle to end them..." What is the 'battle' to end them? The 'battle' that would actually HELP?

In a scenario where a guy and girl are together, doing everything they can together, what else can be expected? Being together causes emotions to rage. Get a guy and a girl together. Have them expose their bodies to each other. Let them kiss and hug each other, dance together, bond together, while other teens are doing the exact same thing around them. The guys find a girl they like and have fun with them, then, later see a girl they think is more 'beautiful' or more 'attractive'. They know they're not in a 'commitment'. They don't really CARE for the girl like she thinks. What happens? They dump her and go for the other girl. When teens are exposed to such situations day and night, WHAT ELSE is to be expected? They are HUMAN BEINGS, and God has made human beings, males and females, to have desires for each other. Sexual education helps with NOTHING. It may help them in 'protecting' themselves and trying to avoid pregnancy, but it does NOT completely PREVENT pregnancy, nor does it discourage kids from having sex. In fact, in my opinion, excessive talking about it ENCOURAGES kids to have sex, and thus, increases the possibility of them having their hearts broken, time after time, without ending in a committed relationship. Girls and guys are naturally attracted to each other. Kind of like a magnet. Opposite poles attract. Likewise, opposite genders attract. To prevent hearts from being crushed, emotions from going out of hand, corruption in society, broken families, parent-less kids, there has to be a limit set to prevent these problems. Other societies don't have much of this problem because they have limits. They have more of a moral upbringing. Sadly, moral values have gone down the drain in our society. Until this problem is cut from the roots, nothing is going to change. This is my honest opinion, and really, I don't care at all if anyone here disagrees with it, or hates it, or laughs at it. The fact is, sometimes the truth hurts, but when you look at our society and compare it to others, it becomes evident what is the problem, and what is the solution. And no, teenage pregnancies are NOT the same ratio today as what they were before. It is far more common. People had moral values in the past. Sadly, moral values are not encouraged anymore. It is situations that cause hormones to rage and desires to peak and problems to result that are encouraged. Very sad state, but sadly, it is true.

You know what? I have NEVER attended a sex ed class. NEVER. I have never (okay, almost never), had a talk with my parents about sex. I have hardly had ANYONE talk to me about it. Yet, I knew about this stuff VERY well I knew exactly what I needed to know. I knew my limits. I knew about protection. I knew who I can be close to and who I can't be close to. I knew how to prevent pregnancy, and also know no forms of BC are a 100% guarantee. I also knew the details of sex, and didn't need anyone to tell me. I have remained a virgin and saved myself for marriage, all of this, without any 'sex ed'. Just because I never talked about this topic, doesn't mean I didn't know. Most teens know even if their families think they don't. Its almost impossible NOT to 'know' these days. Sex education IS important...every kid should know about themselves and how their body works, however, too much of anything is good for nothing. I didn't need excessive 'teaching' in this issue to tell me how to behave. It is the moral values my parents taught me from the beginning that protected me, not explicit sexual education. Very honestly, this is one topic that is rather embarrassing to speak to your parents about. I can talk to them about anything, but this topic? I would've hated if they talked to me about it too openly. I knew what I needed to know. Teens know a lot more than their parents think they do. Even if you keep educating them, trust me, MOST teens already know. They have 'found out' from other sources way before their parents even thought of telling them...even if they don't admit it. ;)

That being said, you are all free to agree to disagree, but as all of you, I too have my right to state my opinion on this matter. Its an open thread, and we all come from different beliefs, so we do have different ways of seeing things. We all have the right to have different beliefs too. ;)

[cali]

well to be honest I have 2 young friends with kids, 1 I have known since she was a little girl, her mom is EXTREMLY over pretective and over parents her kids, this friend was only 15 when she had the kid, her mom stuck by her and so did her boyfriend, but I think she is very lucky in that department. the other is the mom of my nephew, she also has parents that over parent, she is 18 years old, and the baby is 2 months, her parents also stuck with her, and so did my brother, not as boyfriend/girlfriend, but as the mom and dad who both want a part in the kids life. , I have a 16 year old friend who has been sexually active since she was 15, her parents also over-parent. see a pattern forming here?

[critter crazy]

A woman who worked with my sis in-law came in one day and told her that her daughter was pregnant! Her daughter was only 14 at the time! I couldnt believe it, well the woman said she would have to put the baby up for adoption because there was no way they could keep it. Well my sis in-law was having troubles concieving so she offered to adopt the baby! well she did and was very happy with the baby. She is now my niece meghan. well 2 yrs later the girl now 16 was pregnant again! I told my sis in-law that they would come back to her to adopt this one as well! The girl contacted my sis in-law and once again she adopted the baby, another girl who is now my niece morgan. I am glad that my sis in-law is happy, and I just adore the girls to death, but what is this teaching the girl??? That she can just give away her probs?? I am all for adoption but,what is this teaching the girl??? I am waiting for the next call that she is pregnant again(her two yr mark is just about here)!!! sorry just had to vent!!!

[Cataholic]

WOW. If nothing else, I am so glad I am an ADULT, with the ability to live my life the way I see fit, not according to someone else's standards. While I do agree with the teenage pregnancies and the battle to end them theme, the rest of this nonsense, is just that, nonsense. Morals? Who decides MY morals? I do. No one else. I try to live a 'good' life, doing no one else harm, pay my taxes, cut my grass, help my neighbor or friend, and any stray animal I might find. I put in a decent day's worth for a decent day's pay, give to charity, nourish my mind/body appropriately, and, give my all to my son. THAT to me is 'moral'.

I cringe to think I should give up my male friends. Not co-mingle with the opposite gender. My goodness, they make up roughly 50% of the human race! I laugh with them, cry with them, lean on them, and provide support. Fortunately, the relationships are nothing about sex. Nothing. Not even kind of. Just yesterday, I chatted with my MALE neighbor. Oh, it did lead somewhere..yes it did! Right to him asking to borrow my lawnmower, for the 2nd year in a row :D

Teenaged pregnancies are more about what is missing in a girl's life than what is in it. Self worth, education, courage, love, and hope. All that is missing, and the young women turn to others to find this, without thought, without care, without knowledge. I had sexual contact young. I never got pregnant, as I never wanted to become pregnant. I had high school, soccer, college, and law school ahead of me. I had alot of living to do, I had a head on my shoulders, and I knew I wasn't ready for children.

With Jonah? While not planned, it wasn't unplanned. Who ever knew the blessings he would bring to me? I had/have NO misgivings about raising him single, and I consider myself plenty 'moral'. I have no need to get married, and never thought that would be an impediment to motherhood. Why should it be?

While my rant is less on topic than it could be..I just like to chime in!

Johanna

[Vela]

Very well put posts. I agree with some here and disagree with others but am glad we can keep it civil because conversations like this tend to run high on emotion. I agree with K9Soul and I agree with Pops about a lot of what she says, especially about why it's good to wait and why it is such a waste to throw it away on a guy who doesn't really care about you.

[Prairie Purrs]

But I have to question your statement Kim. I do not believe there are no more girls getting pregnant (as a percentage) than in the past. Fear is a very powerful motivator....as is peer pressure and social acceptance. I was in high school and college in the 70's. We knew who got pregnant...who went off to those places you refer to and who had abortions. (Abortions were legal in New York in the 70's.)

To say it has always been as it is today.... well, I'd like to see the statistics on that!

Surprisingly enough, according to statistics at the Center for Disease Control site, the rate for pregancies among teenagers ages 15 to 17 is declining--and was lower in 2000 than in 1976: Link (http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5404a6.htm)

"Since 1990, pregnancy rates have declined substantially for teenagers aged 15--17 years. From 1990 to 2000, the pregnancy rate decreased 33%, from 80.3 per 1,000 females to 53.5, a record low. The birth rate declined 42%, from its peak at 38.6 in 1991 to 22.4 in 2003. The induced abortion rate peaked in 1983 at 30.7 and decreased by more than half to 14.5 by 2000."

[beeniesmom]

Sorry I used the word "laughed".

Next time I'll keep my ignorant observations to myself.

Sorry to have offended anyone. That was not the intention.

Contarily to what you may believe I have a very open mind and respect everyones opinion. I may not agree with some, but that really doesn't mean anything. It's my problem.

I have visited and lived in many countries (US, Italy, Japan, Egypt) for months and even years at a time so I know how people of different cultures live and most importantly "why".

[grybai]

In my opinion, one of the major detriments is the teaching of abstinence only programs in schools... or even safe sex teaching at such a late age. Kids should be learning to take care of themselves in elementary school. I know in a lot of other countries safe sex is something that people are very open about whereas here in the state's it makes people squimish about it. I know so many people who don't use any kind of protection at all, or if they do, it's just birth control. Now as many others have expressed, birth control may be fine if you're in a commited relationship and your partner is disease free, but it is not a cure-all.

There's one free std/sti clinic here in my town where many of my gay friends go to get checked regularly. I know it was never mentioned in any safe sex class I have ever taken.

[Cataholic]

One other random thought that entered my mind this morning as we walked....so many people tie 'moral' in with sex. I find that absurd as sex is probably the one activity we do so very little of, in proportion to all our other activities!!! To say one is moral, or, immoral based on one usually inconsequential part of our day (week, month, year, whatever :D ) really confuses who we are, in total, as a person.

[Lady's Human]

On a side note (Brought to my mind by cataholic's question about Moral)...

I once saw a description of the Puritans as a group posessed by their hatred of the thought that someone,somewhere might be having fun.

[Edwina's Secretary]

One other random thought that entered my mind this morning as we walked....so many people tie 'moral' in with sex. I find that absurd as sex is probably the one activity we do so very little of, in proportion to all our other activities!!! To say one is moral, or, immoral based on one usually inconsequential part of our day (week, month, year, whatever :D ) really confuses who we are, in total, as a person.


Reminds me of a line from a book by one of my favorite authors....Parick Dennis. He said that most of the intercourse in a marriage is conversation -- not sex.

** the definition of intercourse is an exchange between two people....

[G.P.girl]

I don't really know a whole lot of people who are pregnant at your school, i saw a girl who was pregnant my freshman year and then there was a girl this year who got pregnant and tranfered schools. and while it was their fault, i think many of you are putting the blame soley on the girls, when actually it is just as much the guys' fault as the girls'. Also, i think that if sex weren't such a taboo subject in our society then we would be able to be more open about discussions between parents/their children and about getting the protection that we need. (by we i dont mean just teenage girls, i mean anyone who isnt lookign to get pregnant) i dont think it is very realistic to teach abstinance to kids and not teach anything about protection to them. because even if they do wait until they are married they will still need to use protection within their marriage unless they plan to only have sex when they want to get pregnant. which again, isn't very realistic.

[popcornbird]

It is not only sex that is 'tied' with moral values, but anything that 'can' lead to problems in society, or 'does' lead to problems in society pretty often. Our everyday activities consist of eating, drinking, working, cleaning, talking, exercising, etc. No matter how much someone eats, there's no way it can be wrong, or immoral, or a cause of problems in society. Sure if someone eats too much, he or she could be harming his/her health, but it is not something that would ruin things for anyone else. Working...with working, whether its housework or work outside the house, you're actually helping yourself and also society. Again, cannot be tied to ethics. Cleaning is again a beneficial thing and cannot be tied to ethics. Same with exercise.

Now, there are other issues that CAN and ARE tied to 'morals' or 'ethics', and this is because these things, when done in the wrong or irresponsible way can cause serious harm to people. Drinking...as in, drinking alcohol. For me, personally, it is against my religion and I don't drink it AT ALL, but when you look at it logically, too much drinking causes a person to get drunk, and can lead to car accidents, people getting injured, people getting hurt, even death. Drinking in moderation may not cause harm, but drinking too much...doing things in the WRONG way...yes, that is tied to moral values for the reason stated above. Same with driving. Someone could have a car and drive in a completely safe and proper way. Another can drive the same car like a maniac and possibly hurt others on the road. Driving...same action, but a 'right' way to do it, and a 'wrong' way. This is also something that can be tied to morals. Talking to people. Two people could be talking, but one might be polite and civilized, and the other might be foul-mouthed, constantly cussing and using bad language. Both people are talking...doing the same action, but in different ways. Obviously, the latter is not morally 'appropriate'. When someone gives a friend a gift, the 'morally correct' thing to do is appreciate it and thank the person. If the person doesn't acknowledge the gift, or thank his/her friend for it, obviously, there is something wrong with his/her moral character. This is a small, minor example, but everything counts. Manners, moral values, and ethics are VERY important in life, and gosh, if we all 'decided' our own morals, the whole of society would always be fighting with each other, because every person would make up their own morals which would contradict everyone else's and lead to a disaster. The same goes with sex. It is a natural thing, something almost everyone does, or will do, but when its done in a loyal, committed relationship, a couple benefits from it. When it is done outside commitment, outside a sincere relationship, very often, the results are disasterous. Yes there are situations where relationships that start as a commitment end up broken, but that is certainly not the intention behind the relationship. With fooling around, the intention is different. The results are different. The emotional 'after-effects' are different. If its a strong committed relationship, both man and woman would feel happy and very 'close' to each other afterwards. When done with the wrong person, people often feel intense regret, and sometimes have to deal with a pain that will scar them for life. As the examples I gave above, sex is also something tied to morals and ethics for this reason, and it is for good reason.

Perhaps many of you won't agree with me, but I've seen enough destruction resulting in society from having sex the wrong way, drinking the wrong way, driving the wrong way, and see all of these actions as 'morally-related'. I don't believe *I* decide *MY* morals...it is God who decides what morals are right and what's wrong for me, and everyone. The One who created me from nothing, brought me into this world, gave me health, a mind, a soul...my reason to be in this world to begin with. If God didn't create me, I wouldn't be here. If God didn't give me good health, I wouldn't be able to get it. If God took my breathing away, I wouldn't be able to breathe until He decided to let me breathe again. If God took all of the water in our world away, nothing could be done to get it back. When God in His mercy provides us with EVERYTHING, how could I even think of breaking His rules and regulations for me to follow? What is the point of living and then dying if there was no purpose of life? Is the purpose of life to be born, eat, drink, study, work, reproduce, and die? That's it? Truly, that doesn't make sense to me. There IS a purpose of life, and we are ALL going to die one day...each and every one of us. We see loved ones leaving this world everyday in front of us. Doesn't it make everyone concerned about their own souls? Its going to happen to ALL of us. Moral values in life are moral values. They are not something each of us invent according to our own wants or desires. They are MORAL values. If a person wants to live in a certain way, or do certain things, that person has the full right to live how he/she wants. That, however, doesn't mean a person with a knife who chooses to harm animals for no reason has good morals just because he decides those as his morals. Some people hunt for fun. On PT, we all know those people have bad morals when it comes to concern about other living beings, but they might not agree. They might say, "We decide OUR morals..." The fact is, those are NOT good morals. They're not. They can't be. The definition of 'morals' is pretty much having good human character or conduct. All of these issues fall in the same category. While I love many of you dearly, I have to disagree on this. Perhaps I feel too strongly about it...but that is the way I am. If I believe something is wrong, I see it as wrong, and that's that. Even if the 'wrong' is committed by the most dear person to my heart, even though I may love the person, the action is still wrong. Gosh, we are all human beings. I know that I personally HAVE done wrong in my life. I *have* had improper morals in certain issues at certain times. That doesn't mean I would boast about it, or think I was RIGHT about it. Sure I did those things at the time because that's what I saw as 'fit' in my limited human brain, but it doesn't mean those were honorable things to do. I have never really done anything majorly bad (he he he), but minor things. I try my best to correct myself...to correct my mistakes, correct my morals. I ask family members to correct me if they feel I've done or said something 'wrong' that I shouldn't have. I WANT to live a morally 'good' life, but that doesn't mean I will never make mistakes. I want to correct myself in any negative things I may have in myself, but that doesn't mean I will ever be able to correct everything, and make myself a perfect person. It just won't ever happen. Its trying our best that counts. The intention. As human beings, none of us are perfect. That doesn't mean we can claim to have perfect morals. While most of us probably try our best to be good morally, that doesn't mean we are perfect. None of us are. I just try my best to live the best life I can, knowing this life is temporary, knowing there is an eternal life to come, my main goal in THIS life is to live a proper, moral life, being sincere to God for as long as I live. As He is the One who created me, who else is more deserving of my sincerity and obedience? No one.

Lastly, I do not believe sex is something most people do very little of. I bet there are people who do is nearly everyday, or at least several times a week. Probably most people who are in a committed, loving relationship, but again, none of us have any business to think of or worry about the frequency of anyone else's actions, especially when it comes to this. :o

Just my feelings about this, and please know that I'm not directing my comments at anyone on PT, and don't feel any anger towards anyone at all. I just wanted to voice my feelings on this topic, with all due respect. :)

[lizbud]

One other random thought that entered my mind this morning as we walked....so many people tie 'moral' in with sex. I find that absurd as sex is probably the one activity we do so very little of, in proportion to all our other activities!!! To say one is moral, or, immoral based on one usually inconsequential part of our day (week, month, year, whatever :D ) really confuses who we are, in total, as a person.

I'm not sure I follow the logic of this statement. :confused: Do You mean
morality depends on the frequency of a behavior?

[Lady's Human]

I think in a way she was stating that morality is the whole person, not one part of what that person does.

[Giselle]

You know, Pops, I think you've given all of us a lot to think about. I really had to ponder over what you said about a person receiving a gift and not acknowledging it. That really opened up a new page to me. From what I gather, life is a gift given to us. But so many young and old people today do not acknowledge it. They don't realize what a gift this life is. They don't understand the emotional bliss they can receive when they abstain from dangerous activities. They're too consumed with physical pleasure. While physical pleasure can give you momentary happiness, it is only temporary. Young people today don't realize the full extent of emotional happiness. They aren't even fully mature in the mind; how can they expect to go through the actions of intercourse and expect to feel a fulfillment that can only happen through a committed relationship? I don't know how or when or why, but teens today are in a rush to grow up. They're in a rush to skip all the emotional and intellectual maturity that is crucial to a happy life and sacrifice their childhood for a few moments of physical pleasure that may make them feel "grown up". It's sad.

America is continually pushing its youth to grow up, but I don't think anybody ever expected children to go out and start "growing up" in such a detrimental way.

Part of me wants to agree with G.P.Girl, but another part of me wants to disagree. Yes, sex is a very taboo subject in our society (I think it's taboo in EVERY society). Open communication *might* encourage a few girls here and there to wait, it might convince people to use protection, it might even curb sexual tendencies. However, I think other societies which are even more conservative regarding sex have even less teens experiencing with intercourse at an early age. When you are afraid of something, you don't go out and put yourself in a position that will encourage your fear. If a person does not know a single thing about sex, s/he will likely not go out and do it. Also, "protection" is certainly not the only way to control birth. Obviously, you're a high school student, but just the fact that you said that protection (I'm guessing you mean condoms) is the only way to prevent birth shows that kids in America don't even receive adequate education regarding sex anyways. For what it's worth, people don't even need a physical object, such as a condom, as a method of birth control. There is something called Natural Family Planning, aka the Rhythym method, the Calendar method, etc.

(P.S. When I said "the battle to end pregnancies", I meant that in a positive way.)

[Cataholic]

I think in a way she was stating that morality is the whole person, not one part of what that person does.


Thanks, LH! That was EXACTALY what I meant. :D

And, Pops....the difference here, for me, is that my God doesn't forbid all those things you were mentioning. I do drink, for example, and 'my' religion doesn't forbid it. As for the others....well, I DO choose my morality. I don't feel out of touch with God at all. Not one bit.

And, I might argue a bit with your examples on food, cleaning, exercise, etc. Anything done to an excessive fault is harmful. Sure, it has the added benefit of doing some good, too, but, it is harmful. They even have a disease named for some of the obsessions- OCD, comes to mind, immediately.

For me? Living the life I want to live, the one that I am comfortable with, works for me! I am happy, and I am 'good'...as in to others(most of the time, sometimes the ignorance of my neighbors drives me to less than kind things :D ). That is morality.

[K9soul]

I think morality is one of those things that has different meaning to any person you ask about it. There just really can't be any set definition of it (although of course, everyone has their own definition of it), so it becomes a conundrum when bringing it into a debate such as this.

My main point in my own posts were looking at what would probably reduce the teen pregnancy rate in the country as a whole, not in what I think should be enforced or done as a parent (and in teen, I mean unmarried, still in school, etc. My mom was married at 17 and had a child, my sister, at 18). Would I have agreed with all the things that some other societies practice in their culture such as PCB mentioned in keeping the two genders from mingling so freely? No, I wouldn't have. Because my society has not been that way, and with it going on all around me, there's no way I would have been happy with such restrictions put only on myself. BUT if my entire society and culture had been that way from the time I was born, I doubt I'd have thought much of it, and I doubt I would have been less happy because of it. In fact I think I would have been happier, seeing as how I was such an outcast in my school for being "different" than the sexually active girls.

In a culture such as ours where it is so encouraged (by peers, by marketing, etc. etc.), I really don't believe there is any sure fire parenting method that will make a child in this society 100% immune to the temptations and the possiblity of engaging in sex, although I do believe there are things that can be done to help bring that risk down. Those are the things that come down to individual beliefs and all of us could talk all day until we are blue in the face about what we agree or disagree are proper parenting methods :D.

[Cataholic]

K9Soul- VERY well said.

[Lori Jordan]

Ok i know everyone has already posted but.....The thing with saying about Morals? It does not mean because the parent may drink or do drugs that there child is going to run out and get pregnant i really dont believe that.Just because i was in that position myself i was 16 when i had my son and it had nothing to do with how i was raised or influenced it was my choice.I made it was not the best choice i had to grow up overnight and that was not a great thing for a sixteen year old.
I do not regret having any of my children i just wish i would of waited!!! I had to put my schooling everything i wanted to fufil in my life behind me,I worked my butt off to get where i am today!And yes im proud some kids that have kids dont have ambition to go out and finish there schooling and make something of themselves.Alot just sit around on Welfare,and that is the truth.
All you can do is talk to your kids about what can happen and how fast there life will change.I know mine has and im so proud of my kids they have done everything they have wanted too and now in college and im proud of that what Mother wouldnt be and the end of everything i raised my kids on my own,,I thank god everyday that i have made it through the bad times and i have alot too look forward too in the years to come..

[Giselle]

Ok i know everyone has already posted but.....The thing with saying about Morals? It does not mean because the parent may drink or do drugs that there child is going to run out and get pregnant i really dont believe that.Just because i was in that position myself i was 16 when i had my son and it had nothing to do with how i was raised or influenced it was my choice.I made it was not the best choice i had to grow up overnight and that was not a great thing for a sixteen year old.
I do not regret having any of my children i just wish i would of waited!!! I had to put my schooling everything i wanted to fufil in my life behind me,I worked my butt off to get where i am today!And yes im proud some kids that have kids dont have ambition to go out and finish there schooling and make something of themselves.Alot just sit around on Welfare,and that is the truth.
All you can do is talk to your kids about what can happen and how fast there life will change.I know mine has and im so proud of my kids they have done everything they have wanted too and now in college and im proud of that what Mother wouldnt be and the end of everything i raised my kids on my own,,I thank god everyday that i have made it through the bad times and i have alot too look forward too in the years to come..
That reminds me...How's your pregnant 14 year old step-daughter doing? Yikes, must be frightening for her to be heavy with child at such an early early age =/ She should have given birth by now, correct?

[Lori Jordan]

She is doing fine starting with the back pain now we are not sure when she will go by the way she is it looks like in the next week she will be in

[Sevaede]

I never regarded teenage pregnancies as a serious issue until I received word that a close friend of *my* friend was two months pregnant. This poor girl is only 16/17. She isn't even into her senior year and she was two months along into her pregnancy. She hadn't even entered her final year of high school, and she was about to give birth to another human being. My gawd. I was just so shocked. It makes you wonder, with all this hype about sex ed and birth control and abstinence, what went wrong in our society so that so many girls today are experimenting with their bodies and their lives? I know PLENTY more other young young teenagers who are having oral and "normal" intercourse regularly. In fact, a former classmate of mine began this risky lifestyle at the age of 13. She hadn't even entered high school, for what it's worth. I'm just so disturbed and worried for these girls. Don't they know what they're doing? :(

The 16/17 year old girl I was talking about had her abortion just last week. She is so depressed, so tired, and regretful. What are these girls doing? Why aren't they receiving education regarding this issue and why aren't they learning? *sighs* I guess this was more of a rant than anything else, but I had to get this off my chest.

I understand exactly how you feel. My former best friend had her baby girl when we were sophomores in high school. She is still in, I have graduated, and baby Gabriella will be two this year.