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Lizzie
04-05-2006, 12:34 AM
A few weeks ago, we discussed our fears on leaving our cats when we leave home for work. One of my fears when I have to lose one of my cats is that the private cremation will get muddled in some way and I will either find out that it wasn't done or the ashes will get lost. I go over and over my wishes with the clinic, asking repeatedly if they understand, and even then worry about it.

Today, I stopped at the emergency vet on my way home to collect Ted's ashes. They couldn't find them. The assistant brought out a box with Teddy on it, but it was a dog and the name wasn't mine. She checked three times, since I stood there looking shocked, my worst fears seeming to be realized. Then someone else got involved and they checked a book that showed that Ted's ashes had been delivered to the clinic. After the office manager also got involved they realized that Ted's ashes had been given to the people who had lost a dog called Teddy.

This was somehow worse than when they couldn't find them, since they may have been misplaced at the clinic. At least I knew they were there somewhere. Thoughts of what people do with their pet's ashes came crashing into my mind. Would they have buried them? Would they have scattered them? Would it be possible for me to still collect them if that had happened. I imagined myself scraping up soil, it sounds silly but I was determined to collect the ashes somehow. As they called the people who had taken Ted's ashes, I tried to impose calm on my mind because I was afraid of how I would react if the ashes were gone. I couldn't even breathe as I watched the assistant walk back to me from the phone. Relief! They had Ted's ashes. Hours later, I still feel relief, and I still shudder as I think about what could have happened.

Beauty17
04-05-2006, 10:25 AM
My condolences about Ted, and about your trauma in locating his ashes. I am happy for you that the matter was resolved in such a way as to bring you peace of mind.

jazzcat
04-05-2006, 10:43 AM
I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Pawsitive Thinking
04-05-2006, 10:57 AM
What an awful thing for you to have to go through

AbbyMom
04-05-2006, 12:14 PM
Sorry you had to go through that and I'm glad it was resolved OK.

After my beloved Quasar was cremated, they seemed to have a hard time finding her ashes. They were eventually delivered, but I've always wondered if they're really hers. :(

Lizzie
04-05-2006, 12:51 PM
Sorry you had to go through that and I'm glad it was resolved OK.

After my beloved Quasar was cremated, they seemed to have a hard time finding her ashes. They were eventually delivered, but I've always wondered if they're really hers. :(

That happened to me last year with Simka's ashes, the box seemed to weigh too much and my fears kicked in again. Then the tech. reminded me that I'd wrapped Simka in a blanket and that would have added something. Ultimately, you have to hope for the best. At least I know that Ted's ashes were with someone who cared.

The emergency vet people, meaning to be helpful, said they would mail them to me after they got them back today. Imagine having to hope that the mail would arrive correctly! They are sending them by courier to my own vet.

jackie
04-05-2006, 01:07 PM
Wow, what a horrible thing to happen after already losing a pet. :(

I would like the ashes of my pets, and if they were lost or misplaced, I would be upset. But in the end, the most important things are the memories of my pets, which can never be lost.

Cataholic
04-05-2006, 01:34 PM
Lizzie, I am just so sorry about everything. Losing Ted at such a young age was nearly too much to bare. Then, to have the mix-up. I am so, so sorry.

catmandu
04-05-2006, 03:04 PM
I have to go through that a lot.
You cancel something,and are still charged for it because some either couldnt be bothered or cant do the job.
We are glad that you have Teds ashes now,but you shouldnt have had to go through that stress.
And Teds a Pet Angel now.He misses you and wants you to know that he will see you again.
One Fine Day.

AlleyCat
04-05-2006, 04:37 PM
After my beloved Quasar was cremated, they seemed to have a hard time finding her ashes. They were eventually delivered, but I've always wondered if they're really hers. :(

First, so sorry about Teddy. That's never easy. And I'm glad everything worked out okay in the end.

Secondly, we felt the same way about our Nikki (black lab) - the size/quantity of her ashes were the exact same as our RB Rascal (tabby cat) - there's a difference of about 60-65 pounds between the two and it's always made me wonder if Nikki's ashes really were hers .. :(

jenluckenbach
04-05-2006, 04:54 PM
What a horrible experience. :(

Lori Jordan
04-05-2006, 05:40 PM
wow im so sorry for what you are going through

AbbyMom
04-05-2006, 07:38 PM
The emergency vet people, meaning to be helpful, said they would mail them to me after they got them back today. Imagine having to hope that the mail would arrive correctly! They are sending them by courier to my own vet.

Probably once they're out of the system and into the hands of the vet people, it's OK. Probably they are only dealing with one set and they know you.


I would like the ashes of my pets, and if they were lost or misplaced, I would be upset. But in the end, the most important things are the memories of my pets, which can never be lost.

Exactly right.

.
.

NoahsMommy
04-05-2006, 09:50 PM
Oh no! :( Its so sad to have lost your sweet Teddy. But to have to deal with misplacement of his ashes is horrible and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that.

On things as important as these, people really need to take the extra few moments to make sure things are correct.

Are you going to write a letter to the vet clinic, summarizing your experience with them? Most vet clinics have very young, highschool students working for them and don't always see the full picture. Maybe if you wrote a letter and explained how much it hurt to see their general lack of concern over something exreemly important to you, could be a lesson to the clinic? (While it should have been common sence to verify last names, species, etc.)

Again, I'm sorry about Teddy and this sad situation with his ashes. :(

((((hugs))))))