Stupid lines from real people...

[Catty1]

Inspired by Richard's peeve thread, I thought I would start this one up.

I saw this on an internet dating site. In describing his ideal woman, one man wrote: "Got to be educated."

Get me to the head of the line for HIM!

Of course, that doesn't even come close to: "Needed immediately - soulmate."

Any other funny lines you have heard?

[Laura's Babies]

This isn't a line but a add in Pensacola, Florida (News Journel I think) My niece was looking at the help wanted adds, there was a add, "Housekeeper needed, $20 a hour, must clean in the nude......." :eek:

(Funny part is my niece said she is going to call that number! :rolleyes: )

[Lizzie]

Taking Laura's cue, I'll post one that was an ad also and I've kept it on my notice board at work for years:

For information in willing your organist after death, please send a long, stamped, self-addressed envelope to "The Living Bank".

[RICHARD]

Well,

The mayor of Lost Angeles first empowered the kids to walk out of their classes to support the immigration bill.

In todays paper he asked them to go back to school.

reason?

The schools lost almost 1 mil dollars and the police department has been on an alert because all these morons are running around...

Sorry, that was no a line.....but a stupid real person, my mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.

[Catty1]

Richard - better come up to the Canadian Rockies for a break! lol

[jenluckenbach]

A friend went to a fast food place and asked for a taco "with minimal lettuce" and the person behind the counter said "I'm sorry, we only have iceburg lettuce". :rolleyes:

[slick]

Speaking about fast food......I was in McDonald's drive-thru about a year ago. I placed my order and said "to go please". :rolleyes: :p :D

[VTJess03]

My husband is notorious for speaking before he thinks things through and then immediately getting that "duh, I should have known that" look on his face.

Here's an example:
The first time we watched "Pirates of the Caribbean", he commented on the scenery in the movie and asked me where I thought the movie was supposed to take place...


...I replied, "probably in the Caribbean"

[Cubby'sMom]

I'm a blonde, so I have my fair share of stupid lines lol, so here's one. I was talking to one of my friends and my sis and we were discussing a kind of sensitive matter, and I remember I was a little worried about stating my opinion, so I said to them, "I mean, I'm afraid to get you guys mad at me because of my opinions, but I don't have any opinions." :rolleyes: :o That is one of my most blonde lines lol. I do have opinions, just for a heads up lol.

[lbaker]

I asked for a BLT just a few days ago and was asked "lettuce, tomato and mayo with that?". I wanted to say "no thanks.." and see how she made it :rolleyes:

[gemini9961]

I posted this in the Peeve thread but as Lobodeb suggested it might fit here as well.

Today when ordering lunch I told my co-worker who was on the phone with another co-worker what I wanted.....a vegetarian cheese sandwich. He proceeds to ask if I want meat on that.....um, that would be a negative, hence forth the vegetarian part. :rolleyes:

[sirrahved]

My personal favorite: "I love the new Dollar General. You don't have to get all dressed up to go there, like you do with Walmart."

Go ahead... try to beat that one.

[smokey the elder]

These inspire Bill Engvall-esque "Here's your sign" followups! :D :p

[lbaker]

My personal favorite: "I love the new Dollar General. You don't have to get all dressed up to go there, like you do with Walmart."

Go ahead... try to beat that one.

No way.......... :rolleyes:

[catmandu]

I was at the Vets with Baby Pouncer,my first visit.
The receptionist said youre next Sir!
Oh should I bring the Kitten?
Strained Silence as People tried not to laugh in My Face!

[MomToThree]

Speaking about fast food......I was in McDonald's drive-thru about a year ago. I placed my order and said "to go please". :rolleyes: :p :D

I hear that from people atleast twice a day. Trust me you are not the only one.

It's worse when you (drive thru person) asks if that would be for here or togo. I have done that a few times. The customers just laugh and ask if they can eat it here. Lol.

I use to work at McDonalds, I worked there for almost 2 years, then late last year I switched to Burger King. My first time in Drive Thru, I said "Welcome to McDonalds what can I get for you today?" I never even noticed it my boss was right behind me and couldn't stop laughing. Then I realized what I said. Ooops. :D

[MomToThree]

I thought of another one!

Last month we lost power at work. There for we couldn't open right? Well I had this woman come up to drive thru. She asked me if we were open yet, I said no. She asked what time we normaly open, I told her what time. She said then why aren't you open yet? I told her because we didn't have power. So she drove up to the window, and said "I could here you just fine, I would like a blah blah blah... I don't remember what she wanted. I smiled and said I am sorry but we don't have power in the kitchen therefore we can't make anything. She looks at me and got very confused. The sad thing, she comes there every morning at the same time. We have always been open when she shows up except this one time.

That same day, someone called and said that I was being very rude in Drive thru, he ordered something and I gave him the wrong thing. I asked him if he was sure he came to BK. He said yes, I said well I am sorry Sir but we aren't even open yet. Needless to say he hung up on me because he just wanted free food. So just a tip for everyone. Next time you want to get free food, make sure the place is open before you tell them they messed up your order. :)