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View Full Version : I have a drink problem - Professional opinion



Pawsitive Thinking
03-25-2006, 02:39 AM
There! Have finally admitted it and if I don't do something about my drinking its going to get out of control

Cat's Meowm
03-25-2006, 03:04 AM
Please don't worry. And don't beat your self up. Just take one hour at a time - that's what I do!
And then it adds to 24's. It's okay to touch the bottle, as long as no one is hurt!
But it must be hurting you!
Now that you think something's wrong - Go to AA meetings; Al-Anon; church(?), a neighborhood gym; the library --- whatever delays the next drink for an hour! Those hours will add up!

jenluckenbach
03-25-2006, 05:18 AM
You CAN get through this. Be strong. We are all behind you. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} and prayers.

catnapper
03-25-2006, 05:34 AM
We all have our vices, but with the loove and support of friends and family, we can break those bad habits and take control of adictions.

Maya & Inka's mommy
03-25-2006, 07:14 AM
Oh Denise, What a brave thing to admit this here on the forum!! This is a big, even the biggest step to healing!! I have great respect for this!
My advise : try to find an AA- club or a person from whom you know he/she attends AA-meetings. AA is very good! They never attack you, they LISTEN,and help you all the way they can! I have 2 brothers-in-law who were heavy drinkers. The first one drank stuff like whiskey during at least 10 years. The other one was a heavy beer drinker. Always drunk! They both joined AA years ago now; they have been sober ever since!! I won't tell you it will be easy, but if you really want to do something about it, it WILL work, I promise!!
If you want to talk about it, you know where to find me ;) :)
http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabriels/images/smilies%20940%20hug.gif http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabriels/images/smilies%20940%20hug.gif http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabriels/images/smilies%20940%20hug.gif

Felix
03-25-2006, 07:40 AM
That was a brave step to take.Wishing you all the best in finding the help you need/want.

beeniesmom
03-25-2006, 07:56 AM
Oh Denise,
We are here to support you. The second step is to find an AA group, as the others have already said.
Be strong sweety!

JenBKR
03-25-2006, 08:04 AM
(((hugs))) we are all here for you. It was so brave of you to admit that here, and that is the first step. More (((hugs))) and prayers coming your way!

Randi
03-25-2006, 09:37 AM
Denise, I'm sorry to hear you have drink problem, but I also think you have taken the first step of doing something about it. :) ;)

Has it been sneaking up on you slowly, or did something happen when you felt it got out of control?

In any case, we're here for you if/when you want to talk. Know that you're not alone, there are more than you think out there with the same problem.

I really don't know the best way of dealing with it, but I'm sure others have some good advice.

I did know a guy years ago who joined AA, he was sober for at least ten years after, but I don't have contact anymore, so have no idea how he ended up.

Oh, I do believe that joining a gym, going for walks and eating healthy will help a lot.

Good luck!! :)

Catty1
03-25-2006, 10:16 AM
Hi, Denise!

Catty1 here - I passed 10 years of sobriety last October.

The length of time doesn't matter - cause just like I was born with brown eyes, I was also born with an inability to EVER drink alcohol normally(whatever that is! LOL) I am always one drink away from a drunk.

Best news - it is an illness. You are not bad trying to get good - you are sick wanting to get better. And you can!

The reason AA is mentioned by so many is that it is a way of learning to live without alcohol. There is a BIG difference between being dry(will power and white-knuckling) and being sober physically and emotionally.

It's a three-part illness:

1. Physical allergy - alcoholics lack an enzyme or two, and the way we metabolize alcohol sets up a craving. Craving is unique to us. "One is too many, a hundred isn't enough."

2. Mental obsession - the ill thinking tells us that one won't hurt, or we haven't had a drink in so long that we are okay now - any number of rationalizations that put us back where we were, and worse.

3. Spiritual illness. Interesting that alcohol is also called "spirits", isn't it? :) This was my higher power, it solved everything and ran my life - and was going to kill me from early death from illness or suicide. It certainly wasn't LIVING at the best of times. Just keep an open mind on this, go to meetings and hear how everyone has worked this out in their own individual way.

Alcoholism is a progressive and fatal illness. Only YOU can decide if you have alcoholism.

Here's how I decided:

"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."

Even though I was BORED with it, I still kept starting up again.

I hope neither you nor anyone else here thinks my sharing is in bad taste.

Denise, feel free to PM me, okay?

hugs hugs hugs
Catty1

PS: AA is a 12 Step program - and you have taken Step 1 already! "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." If this fits you - welcome to the club! :D

caseysmom
03-25-2006, 10:29 AM
I am sorry you are going through this. I wish you all the strength you will need.

moosmom
03-25-2006, 10:32 AM
Brody's Mum,

That's a big step, admitting you have a problem with alcohol. I've been sober since I turned 40 (13 years ago). Don't miss it at all!!!

The fist thing you need to do is call the toll free number for AA and find out where there's a meeting in your area. If you don't feel comfortable going alone, bring a friend. That's what I did. The more meetings you go to, the more you'll start feeling comfortable. Once you know everyone, you'll need to get a sponsor. Someone you can call when you feeling like taking a drink. It's like a buddy system to help you stay sober.

I've PM'd you with my phone number. Call me anytime!!! I mean that. I'll hang up and call you right back so it won't cost you anything. We're behind you 100% Denise. Anytime you feel like taking a drink, pick up the phone first!

Your biggest step now is to get to a meeting, stand up and say, "Hi, I'm Denise, and I'm an alcoholic. You may not do it in the first try, but that's okay too.

I'll be praying for you. It takes alot to admit what you just did. Take it one day at a time. It doesn't happen overnight. You'll have relapses (I did). They make you stronger. But it WILL happen, but for the Grace of God.

(((((HUGS)))))))))))

Donna

Catty1
03-25-2006, 10:36 AM
Hey Donna. Another friend of Bill's!

I know a few folks who have had relapses - I haven't, and sure hope I don't. I just don't want Denise to get the idea that it will happen for sure, but that it is ok if it DOES too, and to just keep coming back!

The money I spent on booze now just goes on cat toys, cat toys, cat toys... LOL

moosmom
03-25-2006, 10:46 AM
Catty1,

Oh yeah! We've been best of buds since 1993. My friends live in the "hotel", B and B where he was born, behind the bar. They've renovated it through MANY generous donations of time and materials. It's in East Dorset, VT and it is WONDERFUL!!! They have all homemade cooked food, fresh garden vegetables, "to die for" desserts including their famous Bread Pudding. I'm hungry just thinking about it.

Across the street from the Bill Wilson Homestead, is his childhood home. My very first cat, Molly Rose, is a Wilson House cat. She'll be 12 in May. We have a very special bond.

Mine is cat food, cat food, cat food. :p

I started a new thread "Cyber AA Meeting". Anyone care to join me??

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?p=1448218#post1448218

RedHedd
03-25-2006, 01:33 PM
Congratulations, you've just taken the first step. I'm also a recovering alcoholic - Moosmom started another thread here as a cyber AA meeting. I've been sober a little over 19 years, however I know when you're just starting to admit that you have a problem, it's hard to conceive of someone not drinking for that long, but it has been possible for me and countless others through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is listed in every phone book in the world and there are meetings everywhere.

Now that you've made the admission here, pick up the phone and find out where a meeting is close to you, go, raise your hand as a newcomer and let us show you how it is possible to live a happy life without alcohol. It's not easy. You've shown a lot of courage and strength just by posting this thread so I know you can do it.

Laura's Babies
03-25-2006, 02:56 PM
I want to commend you for taking the first step in your recovery! I am not a alcoholic but was raised by acholic parents. What I want to say to you is to GO to AA or find someplace, somebody, help, to help get you through this and can explaine the process as you are going through it so that you won't feel like you are "loosing it", "going crazy" and to help teaching you how to cope in other ways rather than turning to the drink.

There is so much more out there today than there was when my parents were alive, a much better understanding of it and tons of help.... all you have to do is ASK! May God be with you and help you through it!

I have had MANY non drinking alcoholic friends that I have really admired. My buddy Mike has just got his 2 year chip and I am really PROUD of him! We are here if and when you need us!

Pawsitive Thinking
03-26-2006, 04:59 AM
To all of you who have replied and pm'd me - thank you so much! I will respond more when I get back to my pc at work. Hubby hit the roof when he saw this thread (teach him to snoop) although to be fair he didn't know I've been swigging out the vodka bottle at 4am..........

Maya & Inka's mommy
03-26-2006, 10:20 AM
To all of you who have replied and pm'd me - thank you so much! I will respond more when I get back to my pc at work. Hubby hit the roof when he saw this thread (teach him to snoop) although to be fair he didn't know I've been swigging out the vodka bottle at 4am..........

Okay, will talk to you tomorrow then :) .
Didn't your hubby know about your problem?? I hope he will support you :)

RedHedd
03-26-2006, 11:25 AM
We are SO good at hiding what we do. I stayed employed until the bitter end, "pulling it off" and just passint muster. The only person I was fooling was myself.

We'll "talk" tomorrow.

odaat
03-26-2006, 04:15 PM
it's a good day to be sober! Every day is a good day to be sober. I remember the day I couldn't anymore. I HAD to drink. AA has changed all that.
As others have said, find an AA meeting. Cyber meetings are ok, but you really need to be face to face with others who share this experiences, and can offer you the kind of guidance and help you need. look in your phone book, sometimes your local newspapers list phone numbers. If you don't want to go alone, someone will pick you up. Stay in touch!

carole
03-26-2006, 05:00 PM
Congratulations on taking the first important step to recovery, other's have given you great advice, i can only tell you from a different perspective, i have been the partner of two alcoholic men,and can tell you my personal experience, remember Alcoholism is a disease and it effects the whole family, they are ill too, so please for everyone's sake get the help you need .

Be honest with your husband and tell him how much you are drinking and that you want help and his support, I have been through it all with my first husband, the counselling, the drying out, the hospital care,the relapses etc, i never really blamed our split on the drinking and it is only today i realise that is exactly what caused it all,because it changes one's personality completely.

I admire your courage here and hope that you will beable to be strong and take the necessary steps to sobriety, I wish you well.

kimlovescats
03-26-2006, 08:11 PM
Congratulations on your very bold first step! The first step to life without alcohol!!! GOD BLESS and keep you!

(((HUGS)))
KIm

Pawsitive Thinking
03-27-2006, 03:38 AM
Good morning my dear, dear friends.

For the first time in a very long time I fell asleep naturally last night and woke up without that "morning after" feeling. Your posts and pms have given me so much strength - I was able to confess all to my husband who was shocked at the extent of my problem but is now being fantastic.

The bond between PTers gave me the courage to face up to my problem and find the determination to take control. Thank you all for your love and support

jenluckenbach
03-27-2006, 05:56 AM
Just some extra hugs this morning.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}


But remember, you may not be able to do this completely on you own. Seek help and take all the help you can get. Nothing beats support and empathy from those who have "been ther, done that". You CAN do this!

Have a great day!

Pawsitive Thinking
03-27-2006, 07:12 AM
Today has been brilliant so far! Feel so much happier than I have done in a long time. Went to the pub with my workmate today and we both had soft drinks - was able to explain to him exactly what was happening so I've got support here too............I'm so lucky to have so many people in my corner :D

BOBS DAD
03-27-2006, 08:19 AM
God bless you and the very best of luck. I am so glad that you are having a very good first day of the rest of your life. What a way to kick it off!!! But please don't be fooled by your temporary boost of confidence. Take to heart all of the good advice you have received so far and continue on with your mission to gain control. I am so glad you have the support of those closest to you and that they will be there for you!!!

Pawsitive Thinking
03-27-2006, 08:33 AM
God bless you and the very best of luck. I am so glad that you are having a very good first day of the rest of your life. What a way to kick it off!!! But please don't be fooled by your temporary boost of confidence. Take to heart all of the good advice you have received so far and continue on with your mission to gain control. I am so glad you have the support of those closest to you and that they will be there for you!!!

Knowing I've got you all rooting for me is such a boost too. I am sure I will have bad days but I'll know where to come for help :D Will also embrace the word "moderation" as this was my major downfall

odaat
03-27-2006, 09:04 AM
Knowing I've got you all rooting for me is such a boost too. I am sure I will have bad days but I'll know where to come for help :D Will also embrace the word "moderation" as this was my major downfall
That's great that you are taking a few steps in the right dirction. If you are a problem drinker, this may be enough. but if you are an alcoholic, you have a disease, not "a few bad days" or "not enough willpower". Please keep an open mind to seeking help from Alocholics Anonymous. You might try going to a few meetings, just for information. There are many beginner's meetings, and what's called "open" meetings for just this purpose. (meaning it's "open" to anyone to attend, not just alcoholics) A lot of people go to these to find out more, to decide if they really are alcoholic.

Did you know that being an alcoholic has nothing to do with how much or or how often you drink? it has to do with WHAT HAPPENS WHEN you drink. Alcoholics react differently than non-alcoholics, even if you only have one drink. it is a disease, like an alergy.

Hope you have a safe, sober day today. Please PM me - I'd love to talk with you more and can maybe answer some of your questions. (((hugs))) Life is so good sober! :)

Catty1
03-27-2006, 09:25 AM
PLEASE get to a few meetings just to check it out - also have a checkup with your doctor, and make sure you get a "liver function test" (part of the bloodwork).

I am SO glad you had a peaceful night - this is a taste of how sober life can be.

Please keep going from here...if nothing else, try to get a copy of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" (lovingly called the Big Book by AA folks) and read up more on the illness.

Maybe you are not an alcoholic. But just give yourself a break and check it out a little further - how wonderful that you have all the support!

hugs
Catty1

Pawsitive Thinking
03-27-2006, 09:39 AM
and make sure you get a "liver function test" (part of the bloodwork).

I had one of these recently and everything is functioning as it should be - thank God. I think I have had a wake up call at the right moment.

If I don't have anything tonight it will be my first day in 5+ years without an alcoholic drink of some description. The aim is to stop drinking completely on week days and only have a glass or two of wine or a beer at weekends like I used to and not to drink every day like I do at the moment.

Have also bought a silly table top football game to play at work so on days when I have nothing to do at lunchtime I can challenge my colleagues to a game instead of going to the pub!

Catty1
03-27-2006, 01:40 PM
Well...I hope this works. As someone said, you might only be a heavy drinker.

If you are alcoholic, you will not be able to have just one or two. You'll be back where you were sooner or later.

What's important is you find out what is true for you.

HUGS!

Catty1

ramanth
03-27-2006, 02:10 PM
My step grandpa died because of the bottle. The damage to his liver was so intense that there was no helping him. I barely drink because I don't ever want to die that way. :(

I commend you for taking the steps to help yourself. *HUGS* You can do this!

RedHedd
03-27-2006, 02:11 PM
The aim is to stop drinking completely on week days and only have a glass or two of wine or a beer at weekends like I used to and not to drink every day like I do at the moment.

Have also bought a silly table top football game to play at work so on days when I have nothing to do at lunchtime I can challenge my colleagues to a game instead of going to the pub!

Hmm. ...good luck with that. It is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker to be able to control and enjoy their drinking.

As for going into bars while newly trying to stop drinking, it's been said that if you hang out in barber shops, you will eventually get a haircut. .... I think you can figure the rest out.

As others have said, do try to go to a few AA meetings to see how you identify. Keep talking! You've made a terrific start.

Karen
03-27-2006, 02:31 PM
Good morning my dear, dear friends.

For the first time in a very long time I fell asleep naturally last night and woke up without that "morning after" feeling. Your posts and pms have given me so much strength - I was able to confess all to my husband who was shocked at the extent of my problem but is now being fantastic.

The bond between PTers gave me the courage to face up to my problem and find the determination to take control. Thank you all for your love and support

Keep remembering that we're here for you, even tomorrow and the next day and the next ... Glad you told hubby and that he's also on your side, and that you were able to have a soft drink at lunch. Both great steps!

carole
03-27-2006, 02:31 PM
Please Please get yourself asessed professionally, you really need to know are you just a problem drinker or an alcoholic, if the later you cannot just drink in the weekends, you have to stop for good, one drink and you will be back to exactly how much you were drinking before.

My ex was told to change his whole lifestyle really, it meant not associating with his drinking mates and going to pubs , at least in the early stages of gaining sobriety, it is only temptation.

I am thrilled you opened up to your husband and he has been so supportive, he is going to be your backbone from now on.

Remember this effects your whole family,they just might need some other support themselves to help you through it all,for me my experience has scarred me for life,but that does not need to be the case for you and hubby.

Many people think an alcoholic needs to be drinking a lot of booze, my ex only had two bottles of beer a week, hardly what you would describe as being a alcoholic, but he had to have that no matter what, even if we were broke, it came first, also because he was not getting enough for his habit, he was very bad tempered and hard to live with.

I don't want to put a downer on your progress, but it sounds like you might be in a bit of denial,i only come to that conclusion by your decision to drink weekends only, however as i pointed out you need to be assessed to see exactly what is what, good luck to you.

Pawsitive Thinking
03-28-2006, 02:57 AM
Hmmmmm.........some good points made here. Won't get into the mindset of "just the one won't hurt" because it will.

Went the whole of yesterday without having an alcoholic drink of any description! The biggest challenge was the evening when we normally have beer or vodka while watching telly. I treated myself to a big thick magazine to read and although I thought about a drink occasionally I didn't have anything! In fact after a while I was hoping my hubby would suggest one so I could say "not for me thanks"......

Apart from determination to get myself under control another incentive was to be able to come here this morning and say "I didn't drink yesterday!!!" :D and do you know what? I'm not going to drink today either!!

Oggyflute
03-28-2006, 03:17 AM
Well done mate. :) Advice can be good, but whatever you do, do it for yourself. Only you will decide how you go about this. As everyone has said, you will always have great support at Pet talk. ;)

Killearn Kitties
03-28-2006, 03:23 AM
Well done you! I was thinking about you last night and wondering how you were doing. I'm impressed. :D

Pawsitive Thinking
03-28-2006, 03:37 AM
Thanks :D

I suppose its times like this when my stubborn streak comes in useful! I gave up smoking without any "help" (after a few useless attempts) and got to my target weight within a month so I know I can do this too. Being able to come here and be so open and honest has helped me so, so much

sasvermont
03-28-2006, 06:54 AM
I know little to nothing about AA. I do know that we all have our problems, some of us more than others! I congratulate you for having the courage to admit openly that you think alcohol has been your problem. Please don't feel alone with your problem - ever - and know that the Pet Talk people who know much about AA will be there for you. (((((((((Brody's Mom)))))))))

I cannot believe how "tight" a group many of us/they/we are! This has just got to be one of the best web sites out there.

Karen and Paul, thanks so much for allowing these humans the place to meet, greet and convene.

(((((((((((((Karen and Paul)))))))))))))))

JenBKR
03-28-2006, 07:14 AM
I am so proud of you Denise, great job so far! I know it can't be easy, and it took you a LOT of courage to come forward and admit this to us. We are always here for you ((((hugs))))

flip195
03-28-2006, 07:42 AM
i just want to say your doing well.

I worked for 14 years at Styal in Cheshire.. shift work, high stress etc, and they had an officers club, so it was easy to roll out of work and fall into the club at the end of a stressful evening shift, usually ended going home by taxi worse for wear at 1-2am... i was drinking LOTS, at least 9 to 12 pints a day, more on Fridays when i would go to the officers club then onto a club in Manchester till 3-4 in the morning, they days I did'nt work I went to the pub.

Yes it helped with the stress but it was taking it's toll. My father also had a drinking problem when I was a kid so I was well aware of what I was doing.

Anyway to cut a long story short I woke up one morning with yet another hang over and said enough is enough, and it stopped right there.

Now i Have the occasional light beer and thats it (still 12 bottles of coors light in the fridge from before christmas) If I can do it anyone can... way to go.

Karen
03-28-2006, 08:27 AM
Apart from determination to get myself under control another incentive was to be able to come here this morning and say "I didn't drink yesterday!!!" :D and do you know what? I'm not going to drink today either!!


Excellent! :) :D We are all pulling for you to stack one day on top of another and another and ...

Catty1
03-28-2006, 09:20 AM
Good for you, one day at a time.

Perhaps you don't have the illness.

I am glad I do - because as many times, or as few, in a week as I want to, I can meet up with others who are learning to live sober(which is different that not drinking). It's an incredible bond.

After all - only the first step of the twelve mentions alcohol.

The disease starts in the mind. IF you are alcoholic, one day your resolve and good will will evaporate and you will drink again. This is the "blank spot" that is characteristic of alcoholic thinking. We put our hand back on the hot stove.

I hope this gets easier and easier for you. If you wind up grouchy and 'white-knuckling' in a week or less or more - just get to a meeting and see what you think for yourself.

hugs
Catty1

carole
03-28-2006, 04:29 PM
I am so extremely proud of you and your efforts,fantastic, just beware of the withdrawal effects, to be honest i think if you are an alcoholic you will suffer the DDTS i think that is the right term for it, not a pleasant experience, you may experience like things crawling over you that kinda of stuff,(My husband chose to be in a special facility to dry out, he was monitored daily, and he did experience this) you may also need this type of help in the future, well worth thinking about,i certainly am no expert on it all, but i can only share with you my own experience with my former husband, i do have some knowledge which i hope will be of help to you, anytime you want to PM me please do , i am only too willingly to offer you any support and advice i can.

Great stuff, and I wish you well today, remember it is not easy to do it alone, get the help you need and don't be too hard on yourself, take care and all the best, YOU CAN DO IT. you know you can. :)

Corinna
03-28-2006, 05:11 PM
Keep it up as all things one day at a time.

Pawsitive Thinking
03-29-2006, 03:02 AM
Last night was a real test as we were watching football and that normally means having a beer (or 2) in hand. I did fancy a drink but then realised I was thirsty not craving alcohol so had a lovely glass of iced water :D

Saturday is my wedding anniversary (yep! married on April Fool's Day!) so we will be going out for a meal. I may have wine, I may not but if I do I'm going to approach it the same way I did my diet - a couple of squares of chocolate instead of the whole bar, a glass or two of wine instead of the bottle!

I also have an exercise machine at home which I now jump on for half an hour if I find my mind turning to drink

Thanks once again for all your advice and support - I've got a way to go yet but my whole approach to alcohol has changed completely and I woke up singing this morning!!! :D :rolleyes:

jenluckenbach
03-29-2006, 04:48 AM
Wonderful update. Keep up the good work. Happy anniversary. :D

Maya & Inka's mommy
03-29-2006, 06:19 AM
I woke up singing this morning!!! :D :rolleyes:

Wow Denise, I am realy proud of you!!! I wasn't at home yesterday, so I didn't read all the updates then. But I am amazed at how well you are doing this!!! Keep thinking like this, it will change your life completely!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY !!!

Laura's Babies
03-29-2006, 06:47 AM
It is time for me to go back to work and I just wanted to say Good LUCK and keep it up! Hope when I get back next month, there will be nothing but good news from you! keep at it, keep it up!

JenBKR
03-29-2006, 08:02 AM
(((hugs))) and happy anniversary! Sounds like everything is going really well. Keep up the good work, we are all so proud of you!

Catty1
03-29-2006, 09:08 AM
Good work.

Sounds like the 'substitution method' is working so far. Hope you are able to just live sober one day.

hugs
Catty1

Pawsitive Thinking
03-30-2006, 05:21 AM
My hubby announced that his brother and wife may be coming round on Saturday night - they drink vodka like its going out of fashion and I would normally have seen this as a great excuse to drink lots but my first reaction this time was "just because they are drinking it like water it doesn't mean I have to". Will let you know how I get on but I am confident that I will pass this test - I am determined not to let me (or you) down....

Won't be posting every day now because quite frankly it doesn't make for very interesting reading :D but I do know I can come back here if I need a boost

Catty1
03-30-2006, 09:22 AM
"He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but was a long way from conceding that he could do nothing about it himself. He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.

(Fred wound up back in hospital - he goes on to say)

"I reasoned I was not so far advanced as some of you...that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and that therefore I would therefore be successful where you...failed...it would be only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard.

"As soon as I regained my ability to think...not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatsoever against the first drink. This time I had not thought of the consequences at all...I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come - I would drink again. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink...I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow."

pp40 - 42, Alcoholics Anonymous

Denise: I chose these words for you, based on what you have shared. I wish you the best. Your posts aren't boring - I see a lot going on, the early stages, the coping methods familiar to many of us. "Don't miss it at all -feel better." 'We know that such a man is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits.'

Just remember - you don't have to ride the dump truck all the way to the dump.

Any time you want a boost or help, you can come here, as you said, absolutely!

When you decide you want RECOVERY - get to AA.

Hugs
Catty1

Pawsitive Thinking
03-30-2006, 09:31 AM
Thank you - have printed that out, its a lot to absorb in one go but I can see "me" in those words......Maybe I was worse than I thought :( and I thought I was doing so well *sigh* :(

Karen
03-30-2006, 11:02 AM
You are doing well, you haven't been drinking, and you're not gonna start, right? When they're drinking "vodka like water" you can drink water - looks pretty much the same, right?, and guess which of you will feel best in the morning?

RedHedd
03-30-2006, 11:15 AM
"He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but was a long way from conceding that he could do nothing about it himself. He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.

(Fred wound up back in hospital - he goes on to say)

"I reasoned I was not so far advanced as some of you...that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and I wish you the best. Your posts aren't boring - I see a lot going on, the early stages, the coping methods familiar to many of us. "Don't miss it at all -feel better." 'We know that such a man is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits.'

Just remember - you don't have to ride the dump truck all the way to the dump.

Any time you want a boost or help, you can come here, as you said, absolutely!

When you decide you want RECOVERY - get to AA.

Hugs
Catty1

Catty1 - Thank you. I couldn't have said it better. Denise, good luck to you. Your posts are NOT boring, in fact lately this has been the first thread I check on PT. I NEED to read that other people are also trying to live sober one day at a time - it's what helps keep ME sober and has worked for a long time, one day at a time.

krazyaboutkatz
03-30-2006, 11:53 AM
Denise, I'm so glad that you've admitted that you have a problem and that you're now doing so well.:) I don't know much about alcoholics but I too used to drink too much on the weekends. I'd go out with my drinking friends and then end up with a major hangover the next day. Many times I didn't even remember the whole night because I had black outs. I became very bored with drinking and tired of getting hangovers so I just stopped completely. I may have one drink on special occasions but I don't miss it at all. I hope that you'll continue to do well and you have my full support. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

P.S. I don't associate with my drinking friends any more but have made new non-drinking friends.;)

Catty1
03-30-2006, 01:34 PM
Denise - you are doing tremendously!

I hate to be devil's advocate. Just if you DO have alcoholism, there are things you might want to be aware of.

We can really judge ourselves harshly when it comes to something like this - just remember, you are not bad trying to get good, you are ill trying to get better!

And I think you have a real capacity for honesty, which is the key.

"It takes what it takes."

Hugs
Catty1

carole
03-30-2006, 03:03 PM
Denise please don't feel you are boring us, not at all, and do post daily if that is what helps you through all of this.

Again i am so proud of you ,what you have achieved is really something, i hope you are proud of yourself to, but i am concerned about you,i detect a little bit of denial still, but as i have said before you need to be assessed professionally IMO, i think it is very dangerous for you to be continually putting yourself in temptations way, if you are indeed an alcoholic, this is not something you should be doing,and you will need to make some real changes and be honest with family and friends, they will respect you for it in the end.

I don't mean to put you on a downer sweetie, i just want you to really be aware of the reality of the situation, and i speak purely from the heart as i care about what happens to you,my experience has taught me alot and if i can help you in anyway i am here anytime, take care and i wish you well for today and all days. hugs.

Denise i just wanted to add, i don't think you should be putting yourself through all these tests so early on in your recovery, plenty time for that, honestly having family over who drink heavily, is really not a good idea IMO, maybe you could postpone it, i compare it to dieting a little , when i am in the first early stages, it is madness for me to put myself in any situation where yummy food exists, now two weeks or more down the track, i am strong enough to say no, give yourself time sweetie, you are doing marvellous and one day at a time, one thing at a time is the best way to tackle it,don't make things so hard for yourself OK. :)

jenluckenbach
03-30-2006, 04:09 PM
YOU ARE DOING GREAT! But we all just want to make sure you don't fool yourself and then slip back.

And you may believe that you are boring us, but if you forget to update us don't be surpised if we are pounding on your door. ;)

Hang in there. {{{{{HUGS}}}}

Pawsitive Thinking
03-31-2006, 02:43 AM
Thank you all once again.

Have got the tonic water in for when the relatives come over - could postpone it I suppose but that would mean alcohol running my life and I don't want that any more. All the time I'm thinking of drinking, even if its thinking of NOT drinking its still "in charge" and I'm stronger than that.

I truly understand what you are saying in your posts and they have all helped me see myself clearly for the first time in years. I am looking into where my local AA meetings are held and may pop along to have a chat - in the meantime this is day 5 without a drink :D

carole
03-31-2006, 02:55 AM
I think you are truely amazing, i am just worried for you, i think you are way too hard on yourself, drinking has controlled your life obviously from what you are saying, and it is not just a matter of saying it will not anymore, but i really admire your determination and courage, i really just have to say i think you are putting far too much temptation in your way,far too early on in the peace, you have to give yourself time to recover,it won't happen over night, i am sorry i don't mean to harp on about it or keep putting a downer on things for you because you are doing so exceptionally well, and should be proud, i am just concerned that you are being too brave if you know what i mean, going to an AA meeting is an excellent idea and i am sure you will get some expert advice there, in the meantime congratulations and keep at it, you really are a very strong person, and that will help you through it all a lot,just don't be frightened to reach out and ask for help, take care and all the very best.

Pawsitive Thinking
03-31-2006, 04:33 AM
The boss is going on holiday so its a tradition that we have a bottle of wine in the office on his last afternoon...............can't run away home as I've got tons of work to get done so I have asked for a bottle of tonic water instead. Ho hum....can't expect the world to change just for little old me :rolleyes:

Honestly, its like going on a diet and all you see is advertisements for chocolate!!!! :rolleyes:

Maya & Inka's mommy
03-31-2006, 06:40 AM
Honestly, its like going on a diet and all you see is advertisements for chocolate!!!! :rolleyes:

LOL!! I know exactly what you mean, Denise!

Catty1
03-31-2006, 08:56 AM
WOOHOO! Day 5 - good going, those 'one days' do add up in no time!

Denise, here's another bit or two from the "Big Book". My mom used to ask me why I kept going to meetings when I wasn't drinking any more(never mind that it is to help others and show them this thing works). I read to her what are called the 12 Promises of the Program, and I want to share them with you. If you work the steps the best you can, here you are:

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."

pp 83-84

Interesting how none of the above mentions alcohol - in fact, only Step 1 of the 12 mentions it! But the next paragraph touches on it a bit, and is another positive to look forward to(pp 84-85):

"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in alcohol. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."



Hugs
Catty1

Pawsitive Thinking
03-31-2006, 09:23 AM
My colleagues have just opened the wine

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a396/Denise40_0/Image171.jpg


:D :D 100% tonic water :D :D

Killearn Kitties
03-31-2006, 09:26 AM
Oh I love your drinks mat! Very stylish! If you pop over to the Thursdays Bar, they'll give you an ice cube and a slice of lemon for that, I'm sure. :D

Logan
03-31-2006, 09:50 AM
I had to follow and say that you have such a neat coaster! Looks like that tonic water needs some ice to me, plus lemon or lime! :) I live in the southern US. Ice is very important to us (especially me)! LOL!!!! :D

Congratulations to you. You are taking it day by day, as you should. I am very proud of you.

Logan

JenBKR
03-31-2006, 10:07 AM
Looks like a yummy glass of water :D I am really proud of you, you are doing so well. You have a lot of will-power, I'm not sure that I could do what you are doing. Great job!

moosmom
03-31-2006, 10:58 AM
Brody's Mum,

Way to go girl!! I'm proud of you! But do me and yourself a favor, when I quit drinking, after a while I convinced myself that I could "handle it". I'd have one glass of wine or one beer socially, and fooled myself into believing I could control it. My stupid thinking (or as they say in AA, "Stinkin Think") caused me to relapse. Soon, I was right back where I started, not rock bottom, of course. I'm just saying that your mind can play games with you. Be careful. Keep my number handy and CALL ME!!!

Cat's Meowm
03-31-2006, 09:23 PM
It's not 5 days, honey - it's one hour at a time! To show your seltzer knowing every one around you was opening the wine! Made it through that, huh? Good!
Tomorrow may be easy, might be hard. Just take it one moment at a time!
Cyber-hug!

Pawsitive Thinking
04-01-2006, 02:23 AM
This happened to me yesterday.

Came home from work (sober) and took Tobey for a walk and the thought just popped into my head "I like being sober"

I certainly like waking up not feeling ill and having no cringe inducing flashbacks to stupid things I said or did the night before........

Oggyflute
04-01-2006, 02:31 AM
Well done, feels real good doesn't it. ;) :)

Killearn Kitties
04-01-2006, 02:45 AM
Good for you! I'll be thinking of you tonight! Good luck! :D

RedHedd
04-01-2006, 11:26 AM
"I like being sober" I do too. Keep up the good work, One Day At A time, one hour at a time, five minutes, one minute, one second. There will be days when all you can do is hang on and root for midnight.

You're doing well. Please do check out an AA meeting. The people there will help you get through the tough times, and there will be tough times. Life keeps on happening even after we get sober.

Catty1
04-01-2006, 11:44 AM
Sober is just too cool, I like it too. Life may not get better - but I do!

hugs
Catty1

krazyaboutkatz
04-01-2006, 01:43 PM
I'm glad that you're doing so well. Being sober is the best.:)

Pawsitive Thinking
04-01-2006, 03:50 PM
Guests just gone and I'm sober. Did have one vodka and tonic but realised that I didn't really want it so switched to plain tonic water for the rest of the evening. I'm going to wake up feeling sooooooo good tomorrow :D

and my sister in law commented that I seemed to have so much more positive energy around me compared to the last time she saw me :D

PS face the ultimate challenge today - a day with the dragon-in-law while sober.... :eek:

Catty1
04-02-2006, 02:44 PM
In AA, my sobriety date is the date of my last drink, in case that reference point is useful for you.

If a person has alcoholism, this is where the mental obsession starts. It is not even in words, really. Just the keen sense at the back(large part of the back LOL) of the mind that tells an alcoholic that the 'one' worked out fine, so another will be totally ok, you just proved it...and that is the start of the snowball. You have "proved" you can control it. This happens automatically in a person with alcoholism...none of us do it on purpose.

A vague physical craving may have also been triggered; this craving doesn't occur in normal drinkers.

Combine the craving and the thinking, and it's a good recipe for relapse...they are also symptoms of the illness.

Just FYI

Catty1

Pawsitive Thinking
04-02-2006, 02:51 PM
I understand exactly what you mean and appreciate the words. As always you've given me food for thought - thank you

My problem was really with binge drinking that was getting way out of control and becoming the "norm". I was drinking every day and in large amounts at weekends - this has changed as I have come to enjoy waking up feeling well and not sitting on the couch every evening thinking "must have a drink" then "must have another drink". For the first time in a very long time I am actually looking forward to Monday morning because I don't have that tired, washed out, death warmed up feeling.

Catty1
04-02-2006, 03:16 PM
Cool. Like I say, Denise, maybe you don't have alcoholism. I am just pointing out what often happens with alcoholics in certain situations. If it saves someone from 'riding the dump truck all the way to the dump', then it is worth it.

Alcoholism is a cunning and baffling illness; it cn sneak up. I was bored with drinking at the end of my drinking career, it did nothing for me anymore...then I would somehow find myself drinking again! I thought I could quit permanently out of sheer apathy! lol

But no, it had me hooked.

Keep posting - lots of caring folks are here for you.

hugs
Catty1

carole
04-02-2006, 07:14 PM
Denise you don't have to do this alone, may I ask why you have chosen not to seek counselling or at least an expert opinion? how can you know if you are an alcoholic or not if you don't, catty1 has pointed out some very good points,my ex only drank two bottles of beer a week, would you consider him an alcoholic, i think not, but he was, it depends on how it effects your life, your job, your family, just to mention a few things.

If you are an alcoholic you cannot just have one little drink, that is why you need IMO to seek expert help,please just understand i speak from experience and my pure concern for you only, not to be judgemental or anything, and i still think you are doing fantastic,but that scares me a little,because if you indeed have alcoholism, it is not something that can be beat in a week or so, i just want the best for you and hope you can achieve sobriety in your life. :)

Pawsitive Thinking
04-03-2006, 04:21 AM
Please rest assured I have every intention of going to an AA meeting in the very near future. I have got details of all the local groups.

I suppose the main reason I am doing this on my own at the moment is down to sheer stubborness! Once I have made up my mind to do something (stop smoking, lose weight, exercise more) I do it. The biggest issue with my drinking was to acknowledge that it was getting out of control and I had to do something about it...to me that was the hardest part, admitting to myself that I had a problem.

As for your ex, I would consider him an alcoholic if he had to have those two beers every week no matter what - he relied on them and I guess they would be a focal point for his week.

I do understand and appreciate your concerns

Catty1
04-03-2006, 09:05 AM
Hugs, Denise!

Would like to know what you think of the meetings...it's usually suggested that a person check out several different ones, as each can have its own 'personality'. This is for you, so find one where you feel comfortable.


Yes, we can be stubborn...someone once defined an alcoholic as "an egomaniac with an inferiority complex" lol.

And from the Big Book - "Defiance is the outstanding characteristic of many alcoholics."

Just being hoomins! :)

hugs again
Catty1

Cataholic
04-03-2006, 09:09 AM
I am looking for clarity, not critcism , but, I cannot understand how someone that has two beers a week (as Carole mentioned above) is an alcoholic. If it is, in fact, the way the drink affects your job, your life, your relationships, how does two beers a week do anything at all? Unless you are drinking them first thing Monday morning, and they make you late for work???

I am not trying to be funny. And, I do drink, so, am I defensive? I don't know. But, sometimes, it can appear that anyone that is an alcoholic tends to think most everyone is an alcoholic. Please, I am not saying anyone is, or isn't, and if one is, I do think it is a disease. There is a long, personal account of this in my life- my ex was an recover(ing)(ed) alcoholic, probably sober 18-20 years? And, he decided to drink one day. As far as I know, he still drinks 'socially' without any of the problems he had in his youth. I say as far as I know as I don't maintain contact with him any longer, for reasons not related to drink!

RedHedd
04-03-2006, 11:56 AM
I am looking for clarity, not critcism , but, I cannot understand how someone that has two beers a week (as Carole mentioned above) is an alcoholic. If it is, in fact, the way the drink affects your job, your life, your relationships, how does two beers a week do anything at all? Unless you are drinking them first thing Monday morning, and they make you late for work???

I am not trying to be funny. And, I do drink, so, am I defensive? I don't know. But, sometimes, it can appear that anyone that is an alcoholic tends to think most everyone is an alcoholic. Please, I am not saying anyone is, or isn't, and if one is, I do think it is a disease. There is a long, personal account of this in my life- my ex was an recover(ing)(ed) alcoholic, probably sober 18-20 years? And, he decided to drink one day. As far as I know, he still drinks 'socially' without any of the problems he had in his youth. I say as far as I know as I don't maintain contact with him any longer, for reasons not related to drink!

It's not how much one drinks that is a determining factor, it's what happens when one drinks, regardless of how much or how little, how often or not. For an alcoholic like myself, one drink is too many, and 1,000 never enough.

Cataholic
04-03-2006, 12:23 PM
RH- thanks for your response. I have heard the 'one drink too many...'. BUT, that still leaves me questioning the two beers a week. I can drink two beers, and it hasn't any effect on me at all. So, I still struggle with the two beers a week= havoc, or mini havoc in one's life.

Catty1
04-03-2006, 01:36 PM
Well, I heard the same thing about a guy who had six beers every Friday, and got help for that.

I think it is kind of like my being BORED with drinking at the end of my drinking career...I went for periods without drinking, and thought I could leave it alone out of sheer apathy. But I didn't - I drank without wanting to, with sad results.

What made sense to me was the suggestion "If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic." That was me. That's from the Big Book...and note it says "probably". It also describes four kinds of drinkers, only one of which is the alcoholic drinker.

So - if someone decides to quit the only-two-beers-a-week and CAN'T, even when they want to...I guess they decide that it is a problem for them.

That's why only the person themselves can decide if they are alcoholic, or if alcohol is a problem for them. It's a self-diagnosis - yes, a professional can do that too, but only the person themselves can decide to agree and take action.

Clear like mud? :D Hope that helps.

Catty1

Cataholic
04-03-2006, 01:46 PM
Catty1- that did clear things up for me. And, I like the insertion of the word 'probably', too. I guess with the way I am, with control and order, it is 'scary' to me to give up power, and admit I am powerless when it comes to anything- be it drink, food, whatever.

carole
04-03-2006, 05:54 PM
Johanna i really do need to clarify what i was saying, you have mis-understood my post a little so i shall explain myself clearer, i was not insinuating that someone who drinks two beers a week is an alcoholic, no way, but in my ex husbands case he was, he could only afford two beers a week on his wage, but come hell or high water he would have those two beers no matter what, i too had difficulty with it realising he was an alcoholic at first until it was explained to me, he was not actually getting enough booze for his addiction which made his moods swings terrible and him a very hard person to live with, it affected my relationship with him alot.

This Johanna is what makes it different from you or anyone else drinking two beers a week and not affecting them in anyway, i also could do that and it would not do anything bad to me either.,also the fact he could NOT do without them no matter what, he would rather we did without some necessity than not get his two beers,that is what makes it different.

He also suffered from the DDTS when he was drying out, that does not happen to someone who does not have an addiction., I saw him go through that and it was not a nice experience for him believe me.

When we shifted and bought a shop, we had more money and he had to go to the wholesaler to buy food for the shop, he also picked up bottles of whisky or whatever and then his drinking increased, he hid it all over the shop, funny thing was he could serve in that shop and appear co-herrent, the minute he finished he was blind drunk, that still amazes me until today.

Do you know what the turning point for him was, the day I asked him to carry our then newborn son up the stairs, unbeknown to me he had been drinking, believe me he hid it well at times and was very good at it too, he was drunk and was scared he might slip and fall with our son, that was the day he asked me to get him help.

Also for those who don't know if you were drinking say two bottles of wine a day when you became sober, if you start again you will go back to square one, it is not usually a gradual build up of one drink here and there but straight back to where you left off.

Sorry i dont want to hi-jack this thread in anyway, and it is not about me and my past life, but just felt the need to explain things clearer so as there are no mis-understandings .

Denise i was worried you might take my post the wrong way, but i am glad you did not, my concerns for you are real and i know that your stubborn nature as you put it might indeed get you through this, I just want you to always know you are never alone and don't be afraid to reach out for help, take care and i wish you well.

Catty1
04-03-2006, 07:42 PM
Sorry to be a pain:

DTs - short for "Delirium Tremens", happens when a drinker starts withdrawl

DDT - a pesticide, now banned. Killed all the fleas our cats brought in in the 70's though!

Catty1

Pawsitive Thinking
04-04-2006, 04:38 AM
Sorry i dont want to hi-jack this thread in anyway, and it is not about me and my past life, but just felt the need to explain things clearer so as there are no mis-understandings .

Denise i was worried you might take my post the wrong way, but i am glad you did not, my concerns for you are real and i know that your stubborn nature as you put it might indeed get you through this, I just want you to always know you are never alone and don't be afraid to reach out for help, take care and i wish you well.

Quite the opposite - I am so glad I started this thread - being able to read about other people's experiences and be given so much support and advice has been phenomenal. Saturday night was a real turning point for me - normally when the outlaws come round and the vodka is flowing I just join in but this time I realised that I didn't actually want to drink, so I didn't


http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a396/Denise40_0/aa61abe7.jpg

In fact I felt so well the next morning that I sat in the garden at the crematorium and told my Dad everything (sounds a little mad but I know he'd understand me :rolleyes: ) I then had a quick sing-a-long to John Denver and went on my way..... :D

Pam
04-04-2006, 07:27 AM
Brody's Mum, I just want to tell you how much I admire you for your bravery in admitting that you have a problem. I have been reading this thread occasionally and just wanted to say how much I respect the people here for being there for other members no matter what the situation. The caring and compassion on this board never ceases to amaze me.

I haven't read every post but the ones by Catty1 have been helpful to me to see into the mind of an alcoholic. Your honesty and help in get those of us not suffering with this disease to understand it is certainly appreciated. Do you all realize that there are probably many lurkers out there who have never joined PT but are coming here to get help through this thread.

My husband's sister was married to an alcoholic. Beer was his beverage of choice. He knew he had a problem and even was hospitalized due to alcoholism but returned to it after he was released. He finally was able to give it up when my niece was pregnant with his first grandchild. He didn't want his granddaughter to grow up knowing her grandfather was an alcoholic. How my SIL ever stayed with him I'll never know. I could tell you stories..... :(

Unfortunately he died in January of 1999. My SIL found him dead in the living room recliner. He often couldn't sleep after giving up booze and would go downstairs to watch TV until he felt tired. She came down one Saturday morning to find him asleep in the recliner. This was not unusual and she went to prepare coffee as she normally did. When she came to put it on the end table by the recliner he didn't reach for it. It was only then that she realized he was dead.

The cause of death was heart disease brought on by alcholism. His hospitalization several years before had been for heart damage due to drinking. In the end, even after giving up drinking, it took his life.

I encourage you and anyone reading this to know that alcoholism kills. Please, please nothing in a bottle is worth dying over. I know I don't understand the compulsion so I am not one to give advice. Thankfully others on this board are better able to do that. I just wanted to share a very painful experience with you to let you know the horrible path alcohol can take you down.

Pawsitive Thinking
04-04-2006, 08:14 AM
Thank you Pam {{{hugs}}}

RICHARD
04-04-2006, 05:29 PM
Sorry to be a pain:

DTs - short for "Delirium Tremens", happens when a drinker starts withdrawl

DDT - a pesticide, now banned. Killed all the fleas our cats brought in in the 70's though!

Catty1

DOT - that cute girl in my anatomy class that drove me to drink! ;) :eek:

carole
04-04-2006, 06:37 PM
Cattyl thanks for correcting me i knew that i had got it wrong lol, i was close though, after all it has been twenty odd years, so i don't remember everything,and thanks for explaining what it actually means too. CHEERS. :D

Pawsitive Thinking
04-05-2006, 10:04 AM
DOT - that cute girl in my anatomy class that drove me to drink! ;) :eek:

LOL! :D Silly boy!

lvpets2002
04-05-2006, 10:32 AM
:) I am so proud of you & for turning the bottle down.. I have been off & on reading all of the Thread & I think you are so brave & have noted how all of the Pet Talk Family is behind you 100%..

Pawsitive Thinking
04-05-2006, 10:53 AM
:) I am so proud of you & for turning the bottle down.. I have been off & on reading all of the Thread & I think you are so brave & have noted how all of the Pet Talk Family is behind you 100%..

Thank you :D

Pawsitive Thinking
04-05-2006, 05:35 PM
Having decided we weren't going to drink during the week hubby asked ever so nicely if I'd mind if he had one this evening. Not only did I say I didn't mind I actually poured it for him and wasn't tempted one little bit.

My colleague from work who was going to cut out the alcohol at lunchtime bit with me has already wimped out by having shandy then going back to a glass of wine today :rolleyes: Men eh?

What I lack in height (5ft 2) I make up for in willpower!!! :D :D

jenluckenbach
04-05-2006, 06:01 PM
Keep up the great work. :D

RICHARD
04-06-2006, 01:58 AM
What I lack in height (5ft 2) I make up for in willpower!!! :D :D

Shut up..

My mom is 4' 11" and I fear her more than anyone on the planet!

God only knows how much he can pack into a small frame. ;) :D

Pawsitive Thinking
04-06-2006, 05:15 AM
Shut up..

My mom is 4' 11" and I fear her more than anyone on the planet!

God only knows how much he can pack into a small frame. ;) :D

:D :D

Cataholic
04-06-2006, 09:30 AM
My colleague from work who was going to cut out the alcohol at lunchtime bit with me has already wimped out by having shandy then going back to a glass of wine today :rolleyes: Men eh?



Hmmmm....do you mean drinking during the lunch hour during the work week? I can't say that it typical where I live. Most people refrain from drinking during the workday, though it would help the attitudes, possibly. :p

And, what is a shandy?

Lori Jordan
04-06-2006, 09:41 AM
I went through somewhat of the same thing My mother was an alcholic when i was a teenager she had somewhat of reasoning to why she was like that,My dad left her with 5 kids to raise on her own,she struggled and did the best she could then when i was 18 i lost my 25 year old brother he got himself into drugs and all the rest that follows and he was found in an alley was stabbed to death,I thought for sure my mother was done for,her and my deceased brother had not talked for 2 months then she gets the call he is gone.Could you imagine? i don't know what i would do if i lost any of my children,Anyways she continued drinking until i was around 24 and she quit completly no meetings nothing she seen she had to get through her life and she wanted more than having a Title as an Alcholic
I wish you all the best while you are working through this!

Pawsitive Thinking
04-06-2006, 09:45 AM
Hmmmm....do you mean drinking during the lunch hour during the work week? I can't say that it typical where I live. Most people refrain from drinking during the workday, though it would help the attitudes, possibly. :p

And, what is a shandy?


I'm afraid I do. Shandy is a mix of beer or lager with lemonade

Cataholic
04-06-2006, 09:55 AM
EW, gross. Beer and anything seems gross to me. But, lemonade? :eek:

Well, good on you for quitting during the lunchhour, and all other times! :D

Pawsitive Thinking
04-06-2006, 10:00 AM
EW, gross. Beer and anything seems gross to me. But, lemonade? :eek:

Its not the lemonade made from real lemons but still pretty revolting

slick
04-06-2006, 10:08 AM
Actually, when I was in England many, many moons ago I had a shandy for the first time and loved it. It was actually a Lager and Lime. Is that a shandy?

Speaking about drinking at lunchtime, when I was in my early twenties, a group of us used to hit the local pub and have 4 beer and a burger each then head back to work. After work, we'd head over there again and close the place down then go for something to eat and get to bed around 3am. Had no problems getting up at 6am to go to work the next day. :rolleyes: Could never, ever dream of doing that now. A glass of wine at lunch and I'm asleep by 2pm.

Brody, I've been following this thread and I have the utmost respect and admiration for you. To come on a public board like this and reveal a drinking problem is something I could never do. I have not had much contact with alcoholics but have learned a great deal through reading this thread. Thank you (and the others who have posted) for sharing your stories and thoughts. You go girl!!! I'm on the sidelines cheering you on. {{{hugs}}}

Pawsitive Thinking
04-06-2006, 10:27 AM
Lager and lime is a different drink but the same sort of theory - let's just say its an acquired taste.

Glad this post has helped others as well as little old me! :D

Lori Jordan
04-06-2006, 10:37 AM
They have a pill now that you can take and if you drink it makes you massivly sick has anybody ever been introduced to it?

Catty1
04-06-2006, 01:30 PM
It's called Antabuse. I never have had to take it, and I am glad.

I'd take the fellowship, growth and support of AA any day! :D

Catty1

moosmom
04-06-2006, 02:33 PM
When I was a paramedic, we used to pick up balkies (aka drunks) off the street who would drink, despite taking antibuse, which made them deathly sick. It's a great drug by itself, but God forbid you should drink!! The side effects are NASTY!!!! :eek:

carole
04-06-2006, 05:02 PM
Antabuse has been around for over twenty years now, my ex was taking it and yes he did drink on it and yes he was very ill, had to be hospitalised, mind you it gave me some peace of mind.

A shandy is the only alcoholic drink that i would drink now, i actually hate the taste of alcohol, it is beer with a little bit of what you guys call 7 up or sprite, and it is yummy.,Trouble is it is very easy to drink a lot of them not realising it can still make you quite drunk. :)

kEEP up the good work Denise, you are doing SO GREAT.!!!

RedHedd
04-06-2006, 10:00 PM
What I lack in height (5ft 2) I make up for in willpower!!! :D :D Please be careful with that willpower. From the voice of experience of another short (5'1") sober drunk (me), there will come a time when willpower won't work. I can tell you're just like a lot of us - very stubborn and thinking you're different. I'm not trying to be mean, but I am concerned for your wellbeing. You're doing well now, but PLEASE go to an AA meeting and pick up the "Big Book" and a copy of Living Sober.

carole
04-06-2006, 10:14 PM
I have the very same concerns that Redhedd does for you Denise,i wonder if what Dr Phil says about loosing weight applies in this instance too, he swears it is not about willpower.

I really hope you can continue your sobriety,but please don't be afraid or too stubborn to reach out for help if you need it, always here for ya, take care. :)

moosmom
04-07-2006, 11:26 AM
Carol and RedHedd are right. Although Willpower will get you part of the way, there will come a time when you'll find yourself wrestling with whether or not you can "handle it". Please get to meetings and find a sponsor. It'll get better before it gets worse. Been there, done that!!

lizbud
04-07-2006, 12:13 PM
Everytime I see this thread it reminds me of a old movie called
"Days Of Wine & Roses" (It was released in 1962) Starred Jack Lemmon
and Lee Remmick. It was my introduction to this disease & how powerful
and the addiction can be. It was very unusual to discuss real human
problems in a film. Here's the story line,

Storyline

Genres: Romance, Drama
Tagline: This, in its own terrifying way, is a love story.
Plot Outline An alcoholic falls in love with and gets married to a young woman, whom he systematically addicts to booze so they can share his "passion" together.
Plot Synopsis: Boy (with drinking problem) meets girl (with addiction to chocolate). They fall in love, get married and have a beautiful baby girl. But the picture perfect family is anything but perfect. Joe has introduced his wife Kristen to the "pleasures" of drinking and soon both are confirmed alcoholics. An absorbing, frightening study of the insidiousness of addiction.

I recommend it to those who cannot seem to understand how addiction
can sneak up on people. and how hard it is to admit the problem and seek
help.

moosmom
04-07-2006, 01:02 PM
Lizbud,

"Days of Wine and Roses" GREAT movie!!! Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick (?) did a great job! The movie hit very close to home and is worth watching over again.

Another good movie is "The Lost Weekend" with Ray Miland.

odaat
04-08-2006, 12:45 AM
the movie "When a man loves a woman" is also about this disease. Andy Garcia & Meg Ryan starred in it. It's the story of a woman's battle with alcohol & her husband's battle with enabling her. Alcoholism is a family disease.

Well, another weekend, how are you doing, Brody's mum? staying sober? :)

moosmom
04-08-2006, 08:15 AM
Odaat,

I forgot about that movie. Good movie. Both Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia did great in that movie!!

I have a confession :rolleyes:

Although I haven't been out in quite a while, I used to LOVE going to a bar with my best friend Susie (drinking club soda with lime) and watching the drunken idiots act like fools. :rolleyes: Kinda puts me and my sobriety into perspective. Wouldn't suggest that to someone who has recently quit drinking. Too much of a temptation.

RedHedd
04-09-2006, 12:23 PM
Denise? Check in please - how's it going?

Pawsitive Thinking
04-10-2006, 08:23 AM
Sorry, got new computer at work so its taking a while to set up. Happy to report that another sober weekend has been and gone. Went to see Chelsea play and had tonic water when we celebrated another victory afterwards!!!

Going to my GP soon for a blood pressure check (which amazingly has gone down too....I wonder why) so will have a chat with him while I'm there :)

king2005
04-10-2006, 08:30 AM
Sorry, got new computer at work so its taking a while to set up. Happy to report that another sober weekend has been and gone. Went to see Chelsea play and had tonic water when we celebrated another victory afterwards!!!

Going to my GP soon for a blood pressure check (which amazingly has gone down too....I wonder why) so will have a chat with him while I'm there :)


Thats great news, congrats!!!!!

Pawsitive Thinking
04-13-2006, 06:09 AM
Going to my GP soon for a blood pressure check (which amazingly has gone down too....I wonder why) so will have a chat with him while I'm there

This went really, really, really well...........blood pressure is the most normal its been since I started having treatment for it, my "sample" shows that my liver is working normally and is healthy and on the whole my doctor said I should be very pleased with myself!! :) (he has a special interest in alcohol related problems from his previous practice so knows what he's talking about)

I told him exactly what I had been doing and why I wanted it all to stop. I also told him what I had done to change my drinking habits to which he said "you have recognised the potential in yourself to become an alcoholic and because of this have gone from being a heavy drinker to a sensible one" He also joked that since I no longer smoke either he expects to see me at the front of the London Marathon next year...................... :eek:

Killearn Kitties
04-13-2006, 06:30 AM
:eek: The thought of doing a marathon would have sent my blood pressure soaring sky high! If you start practising now, you should be able to jog up to London by the beginning of July. ;)

Very glad you had such a good visit!

kimboe
04-13-2006, 08:02 AM
Wow, That's great news, Glad to hear everything is working as should. To do a Marathon, well it could be done.
My Cousin quit smoking (20yrs) and a year later she did a Marathon, and a Triathalon (sp?) couple years later. She hoping to go to the Greece for the 2009 Olympics
All you need is determination, and you can do alot of things.
It's shows that you have a lot to be quiting bad habits and are determined to live healthy. Right On! :D
Keep up the good work

Catty1
04-13-2006, 09:01 AM
Well, like I said earlier, the AA book describes four kinds of drinkers, and only one of them is alcoholism.

Sounds like you have a good doc - if you had more questions about you and alcohol, you can certainly take them to him.

Might want to still check out a couple of meetings just for your own reference - learn as much as you can!

Hugs

When IS that marathon? :D

Catty1

Cataholic
04-13-2006, 10:13 AM
[QUOTE=Killearn Kitties]:eek: The thought of doing a marathon would have sent my blood pressure soaring sky high!
QUOTE]


That is enough to CAUSE me to drink! :D

Pawsitive Thinking
04-13-2006, 10:19 AM
When IS that marathon?

was on the tip of my tongue to say to him "I'll run it if you will" but then it dawned on me that he might just be mad enough :eek:

Tubby & Peanut's Mom
04-13-2006, 11:00 AM
Drinking increases blood pressure. Smoking increases blood pressure. Therefore, I'm not surprised yours is down significantly since you've stopped/cut back on both. Congratulations and keep up the good work! :)

Catty1
04-16-2006, 10:39 PM
Happy Easter Denise! How's it going?

hugs
Catty1

Pawsitive Thinking
04-18-2006, 03:53 AM
Thank you - and to you. Going pretty well, in fact I now prefer tonic water to anything else.....I think I've gone from not "needing" to drink to not actually wanting to any more. I am so enjoying feeling well when I wake up and far more alive during the day.. :D



Talking also helped me realise that I had been using drink as a way of "coping" with Dad's Parkinson's and subsequent death. The realisation that I was hiding instead of coping put me on the right path to sorting myself out. I do think that finally being able to accept the loss of my Dad and to be able to let him go and move on has been a turning point for me :D